What do you do if you aren’t a woman’s priority?

[TrailBlazer]

Man I will just say it with every good intention, because I’ve passed from similar stages myself.

After reading most of your latest threads the biggest issue is that you seem to fully internalise this identity of being needy.

At this point it feels that you are rejecting any possibility of true growth and you want to use all the different external tactics in order to escape facing what exists inside.

Making progress like this is extremely difficult and in the end not only you will still know what you deeply feel about yourself , but it will also become apparent to the people around you.

The goal is not to be the needy desperate guy that expertly hides it and tricks guys into respecting him and girls into sleeping with him.

It is to become cool and content with yourself to the point that those who don’t recognise your value are the ones losing.

Im not rejecting the idea of growth willingly. It’s just that my psyche won’t let me go past certain barriers and realisations. For instance, realising that I have value. That would absolutely invalidate all of my experiences of abuse, pain and torture from my childhood. It wouldn’t make sense and hurt much more, if I always was a valuable child. This is too much for me to bear right now. That’s why I hide behind the techniques.

And I try very hard to face myself in therapy and everywhere. But it’s not nice when you force it, I’ve had several identity collapses where I didn’t know who I was or even where I was at that moment. Very strange and destabilising.

 

[Ratata]

So basically I can’t count on becoming someone’s priority as the missing piece to my life. Because if I crave it, it won’t happen, and if I won’t need it, I won’t want it anymore.

First off, you're not alone. Second, you will always enjoy it. But once you're above it, you'll be the one filling their void. See the difference here? Again, the illustration of the beggar vs. the giver. If you're a beggar, you will always be poor. If you instead shift your focus and become a giver (which is not the same as being a dancing monkey btw), then women will respect you and become attracted to you.

Btw. did you read the post I made to you about fundamentals and how to game the entire room (Being The Mayor)? Have you tried it yet? It's the weekend now, so will you try it?

But that’s a sad realisation. It means I will always be emotionally (in the deepest emptiest layers of pain) lonely, because no one will fill that void.

No one fills the void of the beggar. Not to get religious on your hiney, but God helps those who help themselves. People give back to givers. You cannot give from a void. You can only suck. But from simply shifting your mindset, you'll be able to give from nothing. All it takes is that you stop begging.

I’m sorry but to keep functional, I have to hold on to that hope that if I become good enough, someone will come and make me their priority, like a parent would. The hope for this is why I live. I can’t imagine the emptiness of having just myself.

That's a logical fallacy. You're already good enough. But since you perceive a lack, which isn't even real, then you act out the part of the beggar. Stop it. You no longer need ragged clothes. You can wear more pride, and be a contributor to other people's lives. And suddenly, you're rich, and moreover, you're preforming a service to society - by giving. You can start by making a re-cap of the strategy I posted to you.

A very good comment though, thank you.

My pleasure! Now I'm just curious how your weekend's gonna go. Are you gonna write an FR?