Socializing What do you do when a girl fishes for a compliment?

[RedNeck]

In my work daily life , I deal with a lot of girls who have partners . Sometimes , when they are having a bad day , they fish for the compliments

My go to approach : whenever a girl fishes for a compliment, don’t compliment her.

of course , if she is a close friend , my redo will be different

what do you guys do !

 

[immy3482]

If someone's fishing for a compliment, I usually just give them one - takes no effort on my part, I don't lose anything, and they get to feel (a little) better about themselves. (Of course, if she's a bit of a bitch/dick, I wouldn't give a compliment and would just ignore).

I've always been a dude who gives out a lot of compliments/encouragement though, so it'd feel weird for me not to compliment someone. If you're not usually a compliment-giver, then yeah, ignoring/not complimenting probably works better for you.

At the end of the day, you do you.

 

[RedNeck]

The thing is in many cases, I realized , that their partners didn’t compliment their new hair cuts, their glasses , . .... or whatever.
So They came to me for a self esteem boost .

I feel I would be a beta if I am the one who supplicate to her. I am not sure though ‍

 

[immy3482]

Sounds like you don't want to give her a compliment - then don't. At the end of the day you'll always be happiest if you do whatever you want to do.

 

[RedNeck]

Not really. I am just sharing my thoughts :maybe I am right maybe I am wrong.

 

[Velasco]

her: hey redneck, do you like my new haircut/glasses?
you:

 

[Train]

I would give them a compliment out of politeness and to avoid awkward silences.

I reserve my honest opinions for outside of work and/or people I trust and know well.

Work isn't the time to tell Jennifer in Accounting that she looks even fatter in that dress.

 

[RedNeck]

I would give them a compliment out of politeness and to avoid awkward silences.

I reserve my honest opinions for outside of work and/or people I trust and know well.

Work isn't the time to tell Jennifer in Accounting that she looks even fatter in that dress.

Good for you and thank you for nothing lol

 

[RedNeck]

If you'd like to fuck these social circle girls at some point say: "Are you fishing for a compliment? Because you should know. . .

. . . they only come from me when least expected." This should be delivered with an extra-playful tonality, throw in a slight head-tilt, bedroom eyes and an obvious smirk. Then there are two paths you could take after dropping this line. The first one. . . is just to never compliment her. . . on anything ever.

The second option would be a compliment on her personality, or her perspective on a topic the two of you happen discuss, during a deep and intimate conversation alone together. . . some time in the future when you find yourself with an open window. Remember that some of the most effective ways to make use of frame-control are in these moments when you suddenly see. . . an opportunity to capitalize on. What's more is both of these options enable you to set a simple frame that builds a heightened sense of anticipation and approval-seeking behavior. . . whenever she finds herself in your presence.

Well said man. Thank you.

 

[Train]

Good for you and thank you for nothing lol

?

I still give my honest opinions on here. I meant I don't tell people if they actually look bad with their glasses, new hair, etc.

 

[RedNeck]

@Train this is what I hate about Internet forums . Ppl answer questions which have nothing to do with the post.

where is in the post I have said you should tell ppl they look bad !

The post is to give a compliment , when someone fishes for it , or not .

not giving a compliment ≠ telling ppl they look bad .
In addition, lying for ppl to like you or not rocking the boat is approval-seeking behavior.

her : do you like my new glasses!
You ; ( ignore and talk about something else )

you don’t tell her she doesn’t look good.

 

[Train]

I answered your question in my very first sentence. Read it again.

Yes, to give a false compliment can be approval-seeking. I agree. But it's also rude and uncalibrated to ignore someone if they ask you something about their glasses/hair/whatever.

 

[RedNeck]

@Train yes, you did. And I saw it. This is where the post should have ended. You started elaborating about how the work place it is not a place to tell Jennifer she is fat ( no one said this ) , and how you don't tell ppl they look bad ( no one says this either. )

 

[RedNeck]

I answered your question in my very first sentence. Read it again.

Yes, to give a false compliment can be approval-seeking. I agree. But it's also rude and uncalibrated to ignore someone if they ask you something about their glasses/hair/whatever.

If you don't want to ignore her questions, then tell the truth.
But also it is dishonest to tell someone he looks good while he looks like a clown