What Do You Do When You Are Extremely Anxious? (Short-Term)

[Big Daddy]

Meditation doesn't cut it for me, and I think mindfulness is a long-term practice rather than something you go after in moments of anxiety outbursts. I generally listen to metal loud as fuck but it kinda numbs the feeling rather than putting me into a position where I can assess the situation calmly.

I often find this happens with shit I have little control, such as getting this particular super hot girl out over text and I keep looking at the screen processing all kinds of shit to say and hoping that I don't fuck up and it stays in my head to the point I skip meals and stop making those GAINZ at the gym.

But as soon as I get her out and I'm on charge I get back to my normal self.

Ever since I joined GC and started working on my abundance, I can deal with the problem way better with girls as a whole than I did back then, but I find that it still cripples me when I feel I have a shot with a super hot, high quality girl and I might fuck it up.

It's funny, I have maybe 5-10 numbers on my phone than I'm juggling and I naturally don't give a fuck and play textbook GC by default with all of them but the super hot, gf-caliber one. I try to do the same thing with her of course, or super hot girls in general, but I still find myself pondering every single shit I send and I'm on the verge all the time because we won't meet until X.

Obviously the solution to the problem is fucking 10 girlfriend-caliber girls, but given that's not feasible short-term, what do you do to keep ya cool on short-term basis?

 

[Drck]

The same, IMO the anxiety may improve but it never really goes away, at least not when you meet the top notch girl that you just feel is great match for you...

IMO it then becomes more mental game, you just have to watch your frame while you are anxious, and try to avoid too many nervous movements.

I also noticed that the girl gets anxious as well, so it actually may be rather a good (emotional) match, you simply vibe better on that level, she doesn't feel awkward that she is the only one nervous...

Showing some anxiety is not that bad, it simply says that you care about that person. If a girl is anxious around you (in a positive way, not because you are a creep), you know that she is interested in you, she is thinking more about you, you are not just a casual guy to her... The same way she perceives your anxiety, she knows you are thinking about her... It is a nice build up of pressure...

 

[Big Daddy]

Yeah, whenever I'm out, if I get a little bit nervous I know she's at least 10 times more nervous than I am so I'm cool with that. Problem is when I have to get her out or something and I know she's zero nervous.

I keep ruminating on pointless shit that prevent me (to an extent) from doing normal things e.g. if I have to concentrate or read I will remember about her again and wonder if I'll get her out, or if I should reply to her text like this, or if she'll ignore after my last text.

The obvious solution, then, is do shit that occupy your mind. But:

- that is only true when I'm exerting a lot of physical effort (gym, which I go every day) but honestly most of our lives are not physical
- I can't get myself to get started doing stuff, or at least not immediately when I want, and keep ruminating about said useless shit instead of actually doing something right away