Hey,
Advice would be very much appreciated!
1 year ago I met a foreign girl online (24 years old). I met her to get a relationship, as I don’t travel to Ukraine just to get laid. We kept contact during the winter, and the summer this year we met for the first time. I visited her in Ukraine. I was there for three days, and I think it went fairly good. She took really great care of me as a foreigner who doesn’t speak the language. At times we had a great connection, she was very excited about holding hands etc, and I kissed her many times, but no sex. On the third day I really pushed for sex, and we were half-ways on our way into my hotel room, but she turned around and pulled me back out again. It was close, but no cigar. She explained to me that she had to be sure that I loved her and that she loved me before we could have sex. Quite traditional, maybe inexperienced.
Also I pushed for her to come visit me in the autumn, but she didn’t give a clear answer. I pushed some more, but she still didn’t give a clear answer.
A few weeks after I got back home she told me she was coming to my country with her mother (it was a group travel). She was not coming to my city, but we had a possibility to meet one of the days when she was in a city nearby me. We only got two hours together because her schedule was tight, and the meeting was so-so. Too short and I was tired because I had to get up very early. Also she was a little distant. And before we parted I asked her when we could meet again but I didn’t get a clear answer. It seemed difficult because of her tight schedule at work and studies (she does both).
Later this autumn I asked if she wanted to visit me during Christmas, and she said yes maybe, but she had to check out her schedule at work. We have kept contact (chatting at skype) during autumn, and I think we have had great contact at times. I also asked her at one point if she wanted to move here at some point, and she said yes, maybe, but that it was a difficult question.
This Friday (two days ago) I asked again about visiting me (Christmas is very close now), and then she say that she can’t decide if she can come or not, because she is uncertain about her feelings. Sometimes she thinks that we only can be friends. Then I ask what her main concern is and then she explains that some dude broke her heart two years ago, and since then she thinks that she still loves him. I find this excuse strange because I asked her before we met if she ever had been in love before, and she said “no, I was with some guys only out of sympathy”. Also I asked her about past relations when down there and I got the impression she was inexperienced.
Anyway, I got very disappointed of course. I replied to this that she can take as much time she needs to think, but that I’ll move on, although she can contact me if she changes her mind. She thanked me for understanding and being so kind. Then we said good night and I logged off.
Have I been too “nice”? I have called her “my dear” or such several times, but I didn’t say it out of neediness. I just wanted to show that I care.
Do you think the excuse about the other guy is true?
When I re-read my post I think that I might have asked her to come too early, we haven’t really had the time to get to know each other.. And because of this maybe I have pushed her away.
Advice would be very much appreciated!
1 year ago I met a foreign girl online (24 years old). I met her to get a relationship, as I don’t travel to Ukraine just to get laid. We kept contact during the winter, and the summer this year we met for the first time. I visited her in Ukraine. I was there for three days, and I think it went fairly good. She took really great care of me as a foreigner who doesn’t speak the language. At times we had a great connection, she was very excited about holding hands etc, and I kissed her many times, but no sex. On the third day I really pushed for sex, and we were half-ways on our way into my hotel room, but she turned around and pulled me back out again. It was close, but no cigar. She explained to me that she had to be sure that I loved her and that she loved me before we could have sex. Quite traditional, maybe inexperienced.
Also I pushed for her to come visit me in the autumn, but she didn’t give a clear answer. I pushed some more, but she still didn’t give a clear answer.
A few weeks after I got back home she told me she was coming to my country with her mother (it was a group travel). She was not coming to my city, but we had a possibility to meet one of the days when she was in a city nearby me. We only got two hours together because her schedule was tight, and the meeting was so-so. Too short and I was tired because I had to get up very early. Also she was a little distant. And before we parted I asked her when we could meet again but I didn’t get a clear answer. It seemed difficult because of her tight schedule at work and studies (she does both).
Later this autumn I asked if she wanted to visit me during Christmas, and she said yes maybe, but she had to check out her schedule at work. We have kept contact (chatting at skype) during autumn, and I think we have had great contact at times. I also asked her at one point if she wanted to move here at some point, and she said yes, maybe, but that it was a difficult question.
This Friday (two days ago) I asked again about visiting me (Christmas is very close now), and then she say that she can’t decide if she can come or not, because she is uncertain about her feelings. Sometimes she thinks that we only can be friends. Then I ask what her main concern is and then she explains that some dude broke her heart two years ago, and since then she thinks that she still loves him. I find this excuse strange because I asked her before we met if she ever had been in love before, and she said “no, I was with some guys only out of sympathy”. Also I asked her about past relations when down there and I got the impression she was inexperienced.
Anyway, I got very disappointed of course. I replied to this that she can take as much time she needs to think, but that I’ll move on, although she can contact me if she changes her mind. She thanked me for understanding and being so kind. Then we said good night and I logged off.
Have I been too “nice”? I have called her “my dear” or such several times, but I didn’t say it out of neediness. I just wanted to show that I care.
Do you think the excuse about the other guy is true?
When I re-read my post I think that I might have asked her to come too early, we haven’t really had the time to get to know each other.. And because of this maybe I have pushed her away.
