When you say you have no past lays, you mean you're a virgin? I honestly don't know what chase would say about that ? But imo I would sleep with a handful of girls before a girlfriend.
I don't see how you would get better in a relationship, it's good to have some pussy there for you when you want it, and I have heard more women like it when you're in a relationship, but for me it hasn't helped me much with girls.
I got out of a relationship that lasted years and now I feel so good, this feels better than pussy to not be in a relationship. I feel like a lion now and starting to get back to myself.
If you wanna get in a relationship don't get complacent and lazy because that's what I did and I regret it.
What is your purpose for wanting to have a girlfriend ? Is it just to get social proof?
Sub-Zero,
Yes I'm a virgin and mostly okay with it. I don't mind, it was never a big deal. If I had good logistics, I know I would be closing. I don't see myself as a 40 Year Old Virgin kinda guy, I'm okay whenever sex happens. But, what I'm not okay with is not making progress with time.
Okay I'll keep that in mind. Not getting lazy in a relationship!
I haven't really thought about it much. I think it's that I only had one LDR so far, and a real girlfriend would be nice. To talk, hold hands etc. Other than that, I kinda like this girl in class. I have this weird idea that to make a girlfriend means long-term commitment. Most couples don't last, but I can't get past this idea. Somehow I feel like I'll be dishonest if I cannot promise marriage or something to a girlfriend. I don't know, it's really weird and bad for me.
I say that there are things to learn from being in a relationship. If you're like most man, you will watch her take control of the relationship, and control over you, and 6 to 18 months from now you will scratch your head wondering how the hell the relationship ended up here.
There is nothing like having experienced it to finally understand the power of the frames, and how women employ them to take control.
It is also a good thing, sometimes, to sit back, relax, and enjoy being with someone.
HOWEVER.
It is true that it will hinder your progress, especially if you are still new at this. When the relationship ultimately ends (like 99% of all relationships on this planet) you will have to start the learning curve very much from scratch again. All the past good habits will look far behind.
It is a pattern that we noticed many times over on these Boards. Guy comes. Start to learn. Have some successes. Post a few LRs. Then he disappears. Maybe never comes back here. But also possibly comes back after a year or two, says he's been with a GF, then starts the whole thing again.
So IF you do not give in to a relationship too early, you will continue to progress, you will internalize the mindsets, you will actually confirm your skills into permanent ones.
You will have more benefits. You will be much better at screening the right woman, because you will know patterns of behaviors. You will be better at handling frames, which will give you better terms in your relationships. And you will be better at maintaining her excitement alive. The sexual flame. You will then be in a much better position to get into relationships.
I recommend you to continue your learning experience for now if you can.
Seppuku,
I understand how she'll be wearing the pants in the relationship down the line. Well, at the same time, I don't really know. I mean at home I'm kinda quiet, do my own thing, not too emotionally dependent on others. But perhaps a girlfriend can and will change that. Becoming a slave to my girlfriend's whims and fancies sure wouldn't be something I'd enjoy.
The thing is, the environment that I'm in, with no scope for displaying affection in public, dating spots, escalation spots etc., I don't know how much progress I can make. Taking a GF will be a compromise, but there doesn't seem to be a good way. The girls seem interested. At least 5 girls I like give me IOIs. There are others I like less who seem a bit interested too. So, I don't really know. Also, as I wrote above, I have this weird thing where I think it's dishonest to get a GF if I cannot promise marriage. How do I get over that?
Remember you are in High school. Slut shaming is a huge thing for girls at that age. Having a relationship is not necessarily a BAD thing so long as you don't lose yourself in the relationship.
Before getting monogamous, ask youself:
Can you leave a girl better than you found her?
Do you have clear goals with a time line? I e further education, extra curriculars, and income?
Will this girl detract from those goals?
Is she clear on your goals?
Is she supportive of those goals?
What are her goals?
Fuck This,
Yeah it's college, but a lot like High School. Not a big campus and the students wear uniforms. No parties etc.
Can you leave a girl better than you found her?
: I don't know. I had only one relationship and it was a 2 months long LDR. I broke up first when I didn't like her looks when meeting in person. Also, her talking style was something I didn't like much. I don't think I left her much better, but I thought about it. It was because my breakup was sudden. She tried contacting me a few times, we chatted for months after that too. Now we're friends but no contact. Also, we texted for many hours every day, shared a lot of information etc. We even talked marriage lol. Yes, I sucked, I know. Should cut down sharing information too soon and texting and calling with the other girlfriends to come. The most annoying thing about her was that she kept saying 'You'll leave me, I know it' etc. I couldn't take that shit anymore. But, she did say that after knowing her she fell in love with the person I am. I think that was a great thing to say and hear!
Do you have clear goals with a time line? I e further education, extra curriculars, and income? Will this girl detract from those goals? Is she clear on your goals? Is she supportive of those goals?
: I have some goals, yes. And if I have a girlfriend, I'll try to stick to 30 mins of interaction max each day. She doesn't really matter when it comes to goals, cause I do my own thing in my free time. At the same time, my LDR ex was quite motivated, smart, and uplifting. She was inspiring. Now she has cleared the exam for becoming a college professor. Smart chick, I kinda feel bad, wish she was prettier and had some other qualities. I don't really know what kind of girl she, or the other girls I like a bit less than her, have.
