what is going on??

[Ragnarok]

hey guys im new to this forum but not new to the website or to game but I am having intimacy issues with my girlfriend. I cant figure out whether she has weird sexual hang ups or I'm not be dominant sexy or bold enough or not leading well

But she has a problem with each phase of sex

She's very affectionate with hugs and kisses




But she hates kissing on lips or making out because she says my mouth is too hot like the actual temperature is too hot and she prefers cool mouths( how do I even fix something like this)




For fingering she says she hates it because an ex fingered her too hard and she bled and it's traumatic




She also hates having her nipples touched because her ex would pinich her nipples too hard by mistake




She hates giving blowjobs because it makes her gag and she doesn't like the taste of

precum




She hates being eaten out because she says it being licked makes her feel sticky gross and wet but not wet in the sexy way




And then we we have sex she wants it over in three minutes or she will pleasure herself till she finishes and then just stop and not wait for me to finish




Like what the hell is going on?

Is this me or her and what do I do?

 

[Big Daddy]

But she hates kissing on lips or making out because she says my mouth is too hot like the actual temperature is too hot and she prefers cool mouths( how do I even fix something like this)

I'm not kidding: drink cold water or ice cream before kissing her, it'll make a world of difference. Though this is just curing the symptoms and not the cause, so it's not something you want to rely on long-term.

Figure out weather this is actually happening for some reason (maybe you always workout before coming to her place) or is some peculiarness from her part. Anyways, this is not the real issue. Just grabbed my attention because I love kissing girls after drinking cold water lol

As for your main point: I feel that this girl had some horrible past sexual experiences and you have to teach her how to enjoy the pleasure. Here's Chase take on that:

Blow jobs, tell her no teeth, and make it sloppy. Lots of saliva. The sloppier, the better. Just to make it feel like she is going to devour your cock.

Sex, tell her to do what feels natural to her and to get fully into it. Tell her not to feel inhibited, and instead that you'll have the best time and find her the sexiest and most sexually exciting if she just lets herself get into it and does whatever she wants. Ultimately you'll find women learn to use their movements to help the sex along as they get better at sex and more familiar with you yourself.

And, if you're going to train her to orgasm, here's the guide to that:

3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex

Have fun training her up!

Chase

 

[JayP]

Sounds like she has a deeper issue than just the sexual frustration between you two. I get the impression she's not very confident and comfortable with herself. I'm going to guess you guys are pretty young, probably in your mid to late teens? Girls will get more comfortable as they get older.

How were you guys before and while you STARTED dating? Did you guys have sex fairly easily before the relationship, without any of these issues? A little more background about your relationship would help narrow it down.

Following Big Daddy's advice wouldn't hurt either haha

 

[Ragnarok]

ok i will definetly start drinking cold water and ice cream for sure. I do eat a lot of spicy food maybe thats why my mouth is hot? yeah she had a terrible clueless ex who would unknowingly hurt her.

in missionary she knows how to move with me while i thrust so its a shared experience but in doggy she doesnt move a muscle. when she is on top she doesnt want me to move at all and in missionary she wants it over with. how do i get her to relax and let herself get into it i feel like she is too tense and stressed.

also with the blowjobs, its not usually after working out but i am uncut and i do try to keep the area clean but occasioanly after you pee even with wiping which i do i feel like there is like a drop that maybe contributes to an odor. I feel like maybe she is hypersensitive or something because other girls have never had a problem and that was with less maintenance

also with the blowjobs do i just tell her to go down on me or nudge her head because if its the precum that bothers her how do i get to that statge where i tell her how to give blowjobs? also thanks for your replies it helps a lot

 

[Ragnarok]

also jaja, yeah we are both young 19 years old, and she is pretty insecure personality and we had a lot of sex at first and i think she didnt make her hangups clear for the first couple of weeks and then she told me

 

[JayP]

also jaja, yeah we are both young 19 years old, and she is pretty insecure personality and we had a lot of sex at first and i think she didnt make her hangups clear for the first couple of weeks and then she told me

Not going to lie, she sounds just like my ex. Insecure, pretty dtf before and when we started dating, then she made her hangups more obvious and sex was becoming more of a problem for us because of her insecurities. i can tell you from my experience, I wasn't as dominant as I should have been, and I was a pushover. On the other hand, she wasn't someone I shouldn't have made my girlfriend anyway. Something about her mentioning her ex to me just didn't feel right; sure enough, I found out she was messing around with him behind my back. She also wasn't ready to be in a relationship since she liked to jump right into them to not be alone. and she had some trauma from her past.

If she was dtf like that before, she can be again I'm sure if you turn on the dominance next time and just rock her world. Command her, but not in a controlling way. If she still won't budge or if you feel like something's off about the situation, it probably is.

 

[Ragnarok]

wow jaja this really opened my eyes incredible. my girlfriend is the type that jumps into relationships to not be alone and she has also had some trauma too. What did she say about her ex that didnt feel right. Also, i try to command her when we have sex but she says I am being to mean and scary. So how do i turn on the dominance and rock her world? and wow our situation is so similiar.

 

[JayP]

What did she say about her ex that didnt feel right.

She mentioned how he wasn't needy, compared to me. Like I mentioned, I was a pushover, and I would do some things or bite my tongue to avoid an argument. She also mentioned him occasionally to compare us. For example, she compared how he lives right down the street from her, and I lived 30 minutes driving from her, and she hated that since she couldn't see me as much as she did her ex. Sure enough, I finally decided to check her phone and I caught her texting her ex saying she was happier with him. (Talk about a revelation!) Even when she compared him in a negative way, the fact she was comparing or mentioning him enough was weird.

Now for you mentioning that she has her hangups about sex, she's unsurprisingly going to be a little resistant to you being unusually dominant. When you're doing the deed, and you're about to eat her out/fuck her, just go for it even if she says something. Give her a sexy smile and bedroom eyes and go to town. Like Chase says, "Girls are silly and cute." Check out the articles Big Daddy linked for you. They have great tips.

Her reaction should tell you a lot about where you two stand. A girl needs to feel comfortable to really get into sex, so if she still resists, it could be something out of your control, but it will still tell you something.

This part you may not be happy to hear, but it sounds to me like she's still thinking about her ex in some way. Would she want to hear you mention your ex like she does? A woman should be happy that you want to be dominant and be a man with her. Speaking from experience, when I nutted up and dumped the girl, I had been so emasculated, and after being single, I realized how much growth as a man I needed. My blunt recommendation would be: Be single, approach tons of women, and really experience how much women love dominance. I'm no where near an expert on this, but I can tell you, being single after her and approaching women really changed my views.

Again, it's an invitation; whatever you do though, be sure you're not settling, whether it's for giving her an amazing night, or removing the shackles from your dominance.

 

[Ragnarok]

thanks for the advice man really good stuff! she doesnt mention her ex often im usually the one who brings her exes up unless you mean the hangups which i guess were caused by the ex. She is also quite insecure and jealous and she would freak out if i told her about my past so she doesnt want me to mention my exes. I will definitely consider that path and thank you. also so do you think she is still thinking about her ex is that what this might be about?

 

[JayP]

Yeah, he doesn't even need to be mentioned. If you have mentioned him as well, I'm guessing he bothers you in some way, if just only for the sexual hangups for your girl. And yeah dude, an insecure/ jealous usually doesn't spell too good for a relationship without headaches. Has she ever accused you of cheating? I only mention this because I spoke with my friend's mom about this before, and she said if your partners accuses you of it without good reason, there's a good chance they're doing it themselves.

Remember, you know her better than I do, so I can only speak for what I've gathered. Just trust your gut. Even if it's wrong, you're training it to become familiar with these kinds of things, and you'll come out more confident and sure of what's going on.