What is the purpose of your life?

[Calibration]

I used to ask this to my friends for fun and sometimes on dates too. I never gave it enough serious thought.

Recently, I met a chic and she asked something along these lines. I gave a funny reply.. but I felt like, this is something very important for most chics and I haven't figured that out.

I live life in the present moment and work on short term goals. My job pays well and I'm comfortable. I'm not very interested in starting a business or stress out too much in life for earning extra money or change the world or make a mark in history. I have a range of hobbies but nothing that I can make a second career out of it.

Just curious, do you guys really have a purpose in your life? And is it only me that doesn't? Do chics really mean it, when they want to know a guy's purpose in life?

 

[Chase]

@Calibration,

Purpose is something a lot of people lack, but that is very attractive when it's there.

If you don't have one yet, I'd default to a wistful "I'm still trying to figure that out." It at least makes you sound more reflective.

I live life in the present moment and work on short term goals. My job pays well and I'm comfortable. I'm not very interested in starting a business or stress out too much in life for earning extra money or change the world or make a mark in history. I have a range of hobbies but nothing that I can make a second career out of it.

Would it be fair to say the purpose of your life is to enjoy the experience of being alive?

You could very well make a compelling statement out of that: "A lot of people have a bunch of grand, lofty goals they aspire to. I think that's great, and the world needs people like that. But you know personally what purpose for me is is about experiencing life as it comes. Not staying focused on some distant future goal that might never come to fruition, but paying attention to what is happening all around me right now: the birds chirping in the trees, the people shooting the breeze on the stoop on the corner, the tiny goals I and other people set and accomplish on a daily basis that make the world go round. That's purpose for me. What's yours?"

Just deliver a compelling purpose, then move directly to asking her about hers, so she is only able to experience the emotions you convey with your speech, and isn't given time to critique your purpose or get into it logically.

All purposes fall apart without sufficient rhetoric to back them up. But all purposes can also be very compelling when stated in a poetic way, and not subjected to close logical scrutiny.

If that's not your purpose, you might want to see my article on figuring out what yours is here:

The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View

Note before you starting reading: This article is almost 10,000 words in length, and dives into a lot of material that goes beyond dating, women, seduction, and relationships. So, you may not want to start in on this one until you're in a more reflective mood, or have a good chunk of time to...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[MarioTheDom]

Yes I agree with you Chase

Internet has made us believe that to have "purpose" you need to start a business, 8 figure exit, lambos, hot blond bimbos at your sides, have men chanting your name

Purpose is none of this (if it resonates with you though, great)

I would say at women usually are attracted to men because we have more introspective analytical tools and hence having purpose help with leadership (the why to your actions) hence she can expect men that have purpose will also be able to lead her

 

[Will_V]

Women like men who have a strong libido, and libido needs something to spend itself on. It's not really about having a specific goal but how driven you are to seize the moment and satisfy yourself in it, in whatever way pleases you.

The men that women avoid are not those who don't have the loftiest ambitions but those who are afraid to pursue those ambitions, or who have developed a learned demeanor of frustration in the pursuit of those ambitions, such as they are. Women cannot get excited for inhibited men.

 

[Surveyor]

Women like men who have a strong libido, and libido needs something to spend itself on. It's not really about having a specific goal but how driven you are to seize the moment and satisfy yourself in it, in whatever way pleases you.

The men that women avoid are not those who don't have the loftiest ambitions but those who are afraid to pursue those ambitions, or who have developed a learned demeanor of frustration in the pursuit of those ambitions, such as they are. Women cannot get excited for inhibited men.

That’s a really fresh perspective, tysm

 

[orkie123]

My thinking on this topic is that women like men who can get what they want.

This is why mant men who dont want much but are able to get it are more attractive then those who have more but are unable to reach their goals.

Its also why I believe that going to a poorer country to find a life partner doesnt go well for many guys. The locals might be whiny about being poorer but they know what they want and they stick to it.
Sure some girls are attracted to the potential of higher lifestyle but then do you really want someone who likes you for the oppprtunities you can provide rather than being a guy who knows what they want and how to get it (good leadership and dominance skills). Of course those that have both would do well with girls regardless of where they are.

 

[ulrich]

Just curious, do you guys really have a purpose in your life? And is it only me that doesn't? Do chics really mean it, when they want to know a guy's purpose in life?

Finding out the Answers.

“Answers” being a nebulous and personal concept for me here… to be more specific my purpose is to understand and solve for every single major problem of my life.

So far I feel I have solved for financing, spirituality, overall health, charisma, making friends and associates, learning, negotiation and rational thinking… I feel I either have learned or have access to top level advice on seduction, relationship management and sales… my last challenges are solving for business and fitness.

At some point in the future, I will need to also solve for being a father.

And at a later stage I want to share all these solutions with my children and maybe some other people too.

 

[Calibration]

All very good perspectives.

@Calibration,

Purpose is something a lot of people lack, but that is very attractive when it's there.

If you don't have one yet, I'd default to a wistful "I'm still trying to figure that out." It at least makes you sound more reflective.

Would it be fair to say the purpose of your life is to enjoy the experience of being alive?

Sure. I'm generally passionate about anything that I do in life. I don't do anything just for the sake of it and if I still push myself, I'll end up giving up. If that counts as a purpose, then that answers my question.

You could very well make a compelling statement out of that: "A lot of people have a bunch of grand, lofty goals they aspire to. I think that's great, and the world needs people like that. But you know personally what purpose for me is is about experiencing life as it comes. Not staying focused on some distant future goal that might never come to fruition, but paying attention to what is happening all around me right now: the birds chirping in the trees, the people shooting the breeze on the stoop on the corner, the tiny goals I and other people set and accomplish on a daily basis that make the world go round. That's purpose for me. What's yours?"

Wise. I truly believe in every word you mentioned here and that's how I like to live.

Just deliver a compelling purpose, then move directly to asking her about hers, so she is only able to experience the emotions you convey with your speech, and isn't given time to critique your purpose or get into it logically.

All purposes fall apart without sufficient rhetoric to back them up. But all purposes can also be very compelling when stated in a poetic way, and not subjected to close logical scrutiny.

If that's not your purpose, you might want to see my article on figuring out what yours is here:

The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View

Note before you starting reading: This article is almost 10,000 words in length, and dives into a lot of material that goes beyond dating, women, seduction, and relationships. So, you may not want to start in on this one until you're in a more reflective mood, or have a good chunk of time to...

www.girlschase.com

It was a great read. It took me nearly 2 hrs pausing and contemplating. It's a condensed form of many books. Thanks for pointing me to that.

I have a lot of questions after reading that article but I'll just stick to a couple of important questions:
1. You mention that helping people in discovering their potential and making their lives better is your purpose. Is it something you always envisioned or life took you on this journey and you realised that is what you enjoy and that's your purpose?
2. You talk about satisfying the reptilian brain and mammalian brain before thinking of neo-cortex. I really liked this part very much. I think life is not linear and by the time you satisfy your reptilian brain and mammalian brain, you might've lost a lot of time in life before you get to your neo-cortex achievements. You mention somewhere that you have to plan for it now for what you want in 5, 10, 50 years etc. I didn't find an answer as to how you'll do that to calm those areas of the brain while you're hustling with seduction.
To put it simply, if my desire is to fuck a lot of girls before I settle down, how do I command my reptilian and mammalian brain to relax while I complete my achievements?

Women like men who have a strong libido, and libido needs something to spend itself on. It's not really about having a specific goal but how driven you are to seize the moment and satisfy yourself in it, in whatever way pleases you.

I really like this perspective, in my interpretation it's about finding the purpose with what you already have than to go chasing something external, which in turn somehow relates to confidence.

to be more specific my purpose is to understand and solve for every single major problem of my life.

Nice

So far I feel I have solved for financing, spirituality, overall health, charisma, making friends and associates, learning, negotiation and rational thinking… I feel I either have learned or have access to top level advice on seduction, relationship management and sales… my last challenges are solving for business and fitness.

Do you feel you've made enough progress in these areas that they're with you for the rest of your life?

 

[ulrich]

Do you feel you've made enough progress in these areas that they're with you for the rest of your life?

Precisely.
I don’t pretend to say I know everything there is to know but I don’t expect any of those subjects to come up with any surprise for the rest of my life.

Of course, surprises can happen… but I consider them solved challenges for all intents and purposes.

And my focus lies on the disciplines that I have yet to master.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

To get the most value out of exerting the least amount of effort and stay alive as long as possible.

If anything being a try-hard/exceptionalism is what has created the giant mess that makes people despise modern life.

 

[Chase]

Wise. I truly believe in every word you mentioned here and that's how I like to live.

That's great.

Also, it's always fun to cold read someone and hear you got it dead-on

It was a great read. It took me nearly 2 hrs pausing and contemplating. It's a condensed form of many books. Thanks for pointing me to that.

I have a lot of questions after reading that article but I'll just stick to a couple of important questions:
1. You mention that helping people in discovering their potential and making their lives better is your purpose. Is it something you always envisioned or life took you on this journey and you realised that is what you enjoy and that's your purpose?

I suspect a certain amount of what drives us is hardwired in. But it can take some time for it to become fully clear.

Hmm, now I'm wondering where in that article I talked personal purposes and motivations! I tried to keep it pretty purpose-agnostic... But yeah, help and inspiration to others is a driving force for me. I didn't know that consciously until I looked back over a lot of my choices, but the more I did so the clearer that stood out. Some questions you can ask yourself:

1. What is the common thread running through everything I put a lot of time or effort into trying to do?
2. What would I say all the things I do NOT want to do, that I could do, have in common?
3. What do I feel most proud about when people praise me for it or recognize me as having done it?
4. What do I feel most injured or outraged by if people accuse me of being guilty of it?

The answers will point you toward what drives you. You still might need to sift and sieve from there to figure it out further.

2. You talk about satisfying the reptilian brain and mammalian brain before thinking of neo-cortex. I really liked this part very much. I think life is not linear and by the time you satisfy your reptilian brain and mammalian brain, you might've lost a lot of time in life before you get to your neo-cortex achievements. You mention somewhere that you have to plan for it now for what you want in 5, 10, 50 years etc. I didn't find an answer as to how you'll do that to calm those areas of the brain while you're hustling with seduction.
To put it simply, if my desire is to fuck a lot of girls before I settle down, how do I command my reptilian and mammalian brain to relax while I complete my achievements?

Well, that depends what your reptilian and mammalian brains are pestering you to do.

Some guys have baby rabies by their 20th birthdays. Other guys make it to 60 without ever once wanting to put a kid in a girl. Those two guys are going to have very different routes to planning out a seduction career.

I'm doubtful you can do much to change or mollify those drives. If it's there, it's just there, and you have to work with or around it.

There are basically two options to conflicting desires:

1. Do one of them first
2. Do them both at once

So if, for instance, you have a powerful need to have a loving relationship with a devoted girl, but you also want to shag a ton of girls, there are two ways to do that:

• Do one first: have a nice, loving relationship, then when/if it ends (or if you reach that point where the "shag many girls" itch is just too extreme to keep seeing the girl), then break up and go shag a storm of chicks. Or, go shag a bunch of chicks in a hurry first to placate that drive, then jump into it with a girl you're crazy for.
  
  
• Do both at once: find a relationship structure that lets you have a loving, devoted LTR... while also shagging a bunch of girls at the same time.

In my experience trying to order your brain to not want something is always a losing game, unless you're going the monastic detachment route.

Chase

 

[TheEcho]

Was lying in bed last night recounting parts of my European trip and it became increasingly clear that my favorite thing is to share (guide) experiences with others. Seeing the Vatican then sharing it with a friend, experiencing fado, then sharing it with everyone who wanted to join. It also boils down things like helping people be deeply contemplative and leading people around to have cool experiences on smaller scales.

The latest article really restarted my thoughts on these things and when I remember those things and sharing experiences with my ex, I just had a huge smile plastered on my face. It gets very clear what your "purpose" is when your reaction to reflections is so strong.

I'm sure there's a way to spin it toward sharing sexual experiences in my mind. Just have so much pre-programming that "sex is 'taken' from girls" to get rid of.

 

[Wick]

At the simplest, I think purpose is having inspiration, and the focus of bringing your inspiration into being.

 

[Calibration]

That's great.

Also, it's always fun to cold read someone and hear you got it dead-on



I suspect a certain amount of what drives us is hardwired in. But it can take some time for it to become fully clear.

Hmm, now I'm wondering where in that article I talked personal purposes and motivations! I tried to keep it pretty purpose-agnostic...

I think I got it mixed up. You mention this in the first link you shared.

But yeah, help and inspiration to others is a driving force for me. I didn't know that consciously until I looked back over a lot of my choices, but the more I did so the clearer that stood out. Some questions you can ask yourself:

1. What is the common thread running through everything I put a lot of time or effort into trying to do?
2. What would I say all the things I do NOT want to do, that I could do, have in common?
3. What do I feel most proud about when people praise me for it or recognize me as having done it?
4. What do I feel most injured or outraged by if people accuse me of being guilty of it?

Thanks Chase. This is what I was looking for, in it's simplest form.
I've always found it easy to learn or deduce something when having a process or a template. This makes it so much easier. I believe this will answer a lot of interrelated questions I have, once I know this.

The answers will point you toward what drives you. You still might need to sift and sieve from there to figure it out further.



Well, that depends what your reptilian and mammalian brains are pestering you to do.

My reptilian and mammalian brains keep warning me of the time I'm wasting in my life, reminding me of finding it hard to find someone as I get older etc

Some guys have baby rabies by their 20th birthdays. Other guys make it to 60 without ever once wanting to put a kid in a girl. Those two guys are going to have very different routes to planning out a seduction career.

I'm doubtful you can do much to change or mollify those drives. If it's there, it's just there, and you have to work with or around it.

There are basically two options to conflicting desires:

1. Do one of them first
2. Do them both at once

So if, for instance, you have a powerful need to have a loving relationship with a devoted girl, but you also want to shag a ton of girls, there are two ways to do that:

• Do one first: have a nice, loving relationship, then when/if it ends (or if you reach that point where the "shag many girls" itch is just too extreme to keep seeing the girl), then break up and go shag a storm of chicks. Or, go shag a bunch of chicks in a hurry first to placate that drive, then jump into it with a girl you're crazy for.
  
  
• Do both at once: find a relationship structure that lets you have a loving, devoted LTR... while also shagging a bunch of girls at the same time.

I've tried the first option and I have a tendency to cheat in a relationship if I'm attracted to someone outside. I don't want to do that again. I feel very bad about myself doing that.

If and when I have a relationship in future, it must be an informed decision and I want to be true to that relationship and I should have a feeling of "been there done that" and not "what if..." and I'm definitely not having that feeling now.

I've had many hobbies in my life and at some point I feel like, that's enough, I've done that enough. I want to feel like that. So, second option sounds good but I just want my reptilian and mammalian brain to cooperate with me until find one like that.

In my experience trying to order your brain to not want something is always a losing game, unless you're going the monastic detachment route.

Chase

Agree with you but when I hear "you should be the master of your mind and not the other way around", it makes me wonder if it's even possible to do that. That was the very reason I loved that article,scientific and real.