What is Value?

[DLegend]

Hey guys, I just started on this website, and I have a question that I'm confused about. I'm tired of getting thrown under the bus by women, getting ignored in social situations, and sometimes being made fun of when I say something, which gets the while group laughing. I want to fix this. I want people to listen and pay attention when I speak.

I'm in highschool, I read the article on How to respong to challenges in social situations, but it siply doesn't work in highschool. I've instinctively always done some of those as a responce to challenges but here in school people aren't socially savvy enough to understand what I'm trying to do? That's my take on it, I could be wrong.

I want to fill myself with value everytime I speak, but I don't get the concept of value much. If someone could explain value to me that would be wonderful. Thanks

 

[Whizzy]

One take on value would be making sure that each sentence, word, and sound has a meaning. Picture the obvious 007, James Bond, when he speaks people listen. Is there any particular reason you can think of that people laugh at everything you say, even when you're being dead serious? If you can give an example I might be able to elaborate more

 

[ray_zorse]

I suggest not to try too hard with any particular group. Cos once they see you as a passive value-taker and likely butt of jokes this will likely never change, I mean sure go off and re-invent yourself and come back in a few years and they may say "wow you are so different now" but you won't even care by sthat stage... to all intents and purposes once the frame is set it is set.

Instead focus on meeting new women and how you can add value in those interactions... the concept is really self explanatory -- are you a fun guy to be around, do good things happen in your company, does your good mood infect others, do you do socially savvy things such as introducing people who do not know each other and bumping things along "Hey Sandra this is Dee... Dee is a student at my uni... didn't you say you're also a student Sandra?... what are you studying?... (fades away leaving them talking amongst themselves)"... do you lead the group and make decisions "no we cannot get pizza because Sandra is on a diet, so lets hit the salad bar instead, cmon (grabs a few girls by the hand and starts leading them across the food court)"... etc I'm sure you can imagine plenty of value adding and corresponding value taking scenarios.

When I'm in a club I add value just by having a sky high vibe, big smiles, dancing hard and loving the music, introducing myself to everyone so they don't feel awkward in my presence... day to day it's by randomly complimenting women and making them feel sexy... (with no ulterior motive usually)... etc.

cheers, Ray

 

[DLegend]

@Whizzy what I mean is when I say something that doesn't make sense to them, or isn't correct on their terms, I'll get made fun of about it. It only happens with some people. But it gets the group laughing, at me.

@Ray I see what you mean Ray, I have a good understanding of what it is now, just be someone that will make you feel special or happy in different ways. That's what I'm getting out of it.

-Thank you guys, I appreciate it!

 

[Drck]

You could be low value man, or high value man, and of course anywhere in between.

When you go to a store and have a pocket full of money, what is the value of a bottle of water and a piece of bread for you? Minimal, couple of cents. Your valet is very valuable. But if you were to end up on deserted island, without water and food, your valet would be useless. You would give everything to get one bottle of fresh water and a piece of bread, they would have high value.

Similarly, if a girl has 10 guys in her orbital and each of them is doing the same - orbiting, being needy, begging for her attention, texting her constantly, chasing her, trying to make her feel happy and comfortable, buying movie tickets and dinners for her... What value do they have to her? Minimal. She doesn't care, she can have many guys like that. She can easily reject them because the supply of those guys is too high.

Now she meets a different guy. She meets you, and because you studied GC you are different. You are not orbiting, you are not chasing, you are not needy. As a matter of fact you are quite sexy because you worked hard on your fundamentals. She doesn't know many guys like you. What is your value in her eyes? Very high, she will do anything to be in your presence, she will want to be your GF, she will want to have sex with you, perhaps she will even pay for your meals just so she can be with you...

 

[ray_zorse]

Drck has a good point that I did not think to address in my post, which is that value can often be about what you don't do as well as what you do do... because of the message it sends... the example that springs to mind is not leaning in to a conversation, instead having people move closer or speak up if you cannot hear them... as well as not chasing and being secure in oneself and one's frame as Drck points out. These all imply you're in demand and people do things for you, hence you must be high value.

I guess the technical term would be "implicit value", the value you display without bragging or showboating or appearing to put in effort, although stuff like introducing people to each other could possibly be a display of implicit value if you can do it in an effortless and casual enough manner. Name dropping celebrities or bragging about your income or accomplishments would be explicit value. Stuff like complimenting women or having a good vibe I'm not really sure, somewhere in between?

Obviously you want to be displaying implicit value.

cheers, Ray