What is wrong with me! Does THIS happen to YOU too????????

[sneaky_charm]

So I have an extremely bizarre problem. Of course I find it hard to approach girls due to approach anxiety during many days, BUT, I find it HARDER to approach those whom I see 'eyeing' me, EVERY DAY.

Now this totally doesn't make sense logically, because from past experience, I KNOW that girls who make eye contact repeatedly open very positively, but I just find opening such girls harder.

Even today, I've failed to open 3 girls who I KNEW were looking at me again and again. I've at least failed to open 50 girls eyeing me till date, maybe even more.

These girls are almost sure things IF ONLY I have the balls to approach. But I can't approach them, even when I approach people who don't even notice me at all!

SO WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? DID IT EVER HAPPEN TO YOU TOO?

- Kevin

 

[Smith]

I think you're just afraid to get rejected by girls you 'thought' are into you (because you REALLY don't know if they're into you until you talk to them.)

This happened to me sometimes until I eventually break it down. I failed to approach because I wanted to feel good about myself - "aww that cute girl is checking me out! Lets approach....but WAIT what if she was jst looking at me because I look funny and she wasn't into me at all.....or what if I said the wrong opener and she didn't like it....AHH FUCK ABORT"

I don't know if this was running through your mind before you approach, but this sometimes happened to me.
I think the fear comes from being afraid of
a) hurting your ego
b) being proved wrong and she wasn't into you.

so in the end, we overanalyze the situation and not take action. I don't know if you've ready this article that came out a few days ago, but it helps. https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-stop-overthinking-it-and-make-move

Best thing to do is just go in there with no expectations and see how it plays out.

-Smith

 

[Drck]

I think it is normal. The repeated eye contact generates too many expectations. You can try to minimize the eye contact. For example, you had a great eye contact with her and now you see that she is looking at you. I wouldn’t keep looking directly back at her (what for? You already know that she is interested…). Just look away, you can see if she is looking at you using your peripheral vision, and even pretend that you don’t see her. Literally ignore her, but then go to talk to her. This way you can bypass all the initial expectation from approaching.


Once you get more advanced, you can even avoid the initial eye contact: (1) You generate attraction with your fundamentals. (2) You give her really good look up and down while she is looking at your direction (but not directly at you). Don’t worry, she sees it, she sees you giving her a good look even when she is 90 degrees angle away from you. (3) Then you look slowly away, as if you are not interested. (4) She will look back at you to check out who is checking her out. (5) If she is attracted (fundamentals!!!) she will approach you indirectly while you are looking away, meaning she will get closer to you. She will even stand right in front of you so you can’t miss her, perhaps make some sound or noise so you can’t miss her. (6) Talk to her.

TALK TO HER WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS:

Many times the problem is, that you want to go to this hot girl and you want to appear perfect. You want to give her seductive look and then approach her in the right angle. You want to be smooth, appear confident, be sexy, be able to deep diving, then touch her the right way at the right time... You want to move her fast, vibe with her, say all the right things at the right time... You want her to not only like you but eventually fall in love with you. You want to be this Great Seducer who she falls in love with, you want to do all these details... And that makes you anxious, once you are anxious you will become afraid that if you screw up you will never see her again...


I say fuck it. Don’t pretend to be Great Seducer, don’t care if she likes you or if you ever see her again. Don’t try to be smooth and forget all about deep diving. Just go ahead and talk to her, say what you want to say, say it the way you want to say it. AT FIRST TALK TO HER WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS – there is no first date and no phone number, there is no fast moving, there is no seduction, there is no intention to do anything. Just talk to her as a person, find out what is she like. It is a casual conversation. ONLY AFTER THERE IS GREAT ATTRACTION from both sides (and you will feel it) during this initial talk, only then you hit the seduction stuff. Even then, you don’t really have to do that much because if she really likes you and if she is attracted to you (fundamentals!!!) – SHE WILL FORGIVE YOU LOTS OF MISTAKES…

THE FACT THAT YOU TALK TO HER CASUALLY, WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION, GENERATES HUGE ATTRACTION. You don't need to worry a about more attraction, it is already there...

So basically, talk to her first, and only then you give her those seductive looks (if you still need them...)

 

[sneaky_charm]

I don't know if this was running through your mind before you approach, but this sometimes happened to me.
I think the fear comes from being afraid of
a) hurting your ego
b) being proved wrong and she wasn't into you.

Thanks, I get you man. Will try to keep in mind!

THE FACT THAT YOU TALK TO HER CASUALLY, WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION, GENERATES HUGE ATTRACTION. You don't need to worry a about more attraction, it is already there...

Okay then, the next time that happens, I'll try to be as casual as possible.

- Kevin