What is your kissing technique? Please help, I am a bad kisser.

[sneaky_charm]

Hi!

So I've kissed before, but I wasn't any good. I have read one or two GS articles about kissing, but none describes the technical aspects like where to put hands, how much time to spend kissing, how to move lips etc. in much detail.

Can you please give me links to all the Girlschase kissing articles and forum posts? I'm only being able to find about 3 or so.

Also, what is your own master technique?

Please give me tips and tricks, I want to kiss in such a way that a girl has no way but to come back for more...

- Kevin

 

[Thinkingenigma]

I'm assuming you read Chase's article on the subject? (https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-k ... kissed-her)

Here's the secret to being a good kisser in my experience. Don't primarily kiss her on the lips. Now, of course you should start there and make sure she's comfortable kissing you first, but once that's established, move on. Kiss her on her neck and chest (no hickeys though. Girls hate guys who do that). Run your hand up and down her side, brush her breasts (fondle them once she's gotten used to you touching her intimately), and control her hips. Start moving your hands under her clothing by rubbing your entire palm over her stomach, then move up towards the breasts, then depending on her comfort level, down towards her pussy. All of these are great and really carry a sense of domination if done correctly. Basically, explore her whole body and don't be afraid to manhandle her a bit, no matter what kind of kiss you're going for.

One other tip. Move slowly but powerfully. One way to do this is to stiffen your muscles so that while you're applying a normal amount of pressure to her, if she moves into your touch, it's unyielding, giving the impression of controlled strength. It's super sexy. Plus, don't be afraid to take your time exploring her. Tease her a bit, and don't try to do everything all at once.

 

[Richard]

The way I kiss isn't something that I can 100% accurately put into words - but every girl I've ever kissed has either been turned on, felt butterflies, or felt romantic afterwards.

There are tons of different kinds of kissing - and the differences in each consist of: speed, repetition, intensity, and action involved.

When I kiss a girl to give her butterflies and make her feel more romantically attracted to me: I kiss more slowly, with more eye contact, and the kisses are deeper.
When I kiss a girl to turn her on: I kiss more aggressively, biting her bottom lip, teasing her with half-kisses, then introduce tongue.
When I kiss a girl to have fun sex: I kiss more enthusiastically, bite her bottom lip and pull it a bit while whispering something, and heavily tease her by letting our lips just press together then quickly pull away, or put my forehead on hers look at her in the eyes, make a kiss face then pull away and let her keep leaning forward to kiss me as I lean back.

As for actually kissing - I can't give any tips because it's not something I learned to do it's just something that's very very natural for me.

-Richard

 

[Franco]

sneaky,

Here's a couple very basic tips that you can implement right away:

• 1) Always have your head tilted slightly right or slightly left. I think it feels more natural for people to slightly tilt their head to the right. The purpose of this is to avoid nose contact. When you get comfortable with this, you can implement tilting your head in the middle of kissing to rub noses together or mix things up.
  
  2) Never flex your lips. Always keep them relaxed and soft. Girls love when a guy properly knows how to leave his lips relaxed so that they are soft and pliable. It allows for both of your lips to mesh together more easily and just feels much more intimate.
  
  3) Occasionally use your hand (or hands) to lightly grab her chin or cheeks. Being the man, it makes you come across as more "dominant" to grab her face and "lead" the kiss by LIGHTLY directing her face where you want it to go with your hand.

EDIT: As more of a "don't" rather than a "do," make sure not to lean into her face too hard and bump teeth. Bumping teeth is usually a big sign of a novice kisser.

Those are a couple of the basic techniques for mouth-to-mouth kissing. As far as tongue-play goes, you'll usually want to let the girl initiate this once she gets more turned on. When she does, it's important to not just "hold" your tongue down her throat. Occasionally pull it back into your mouth, finish the kiss, then re-open your mouths and make tongue contact again. The pace of this cycle usually picks up as the girl becomes more turned on. There isn't really any "technique" for the actual tongue movements -- just have fun with that part and "dance" your tongue along with hers. =)

- Franco

 

[Richard]

1) Always have your head tilted slightly right or slightly left. I think it feels more natural for people to slightly tilt their head to the right. The purpose of this is to avoid nose contact. When you get comfortable with this, you can implement tilting your head in the middle of kissing to rub noses together or mix things up.

2) Never flex your lips. Always keep them relaxed and soft. Girls love when a guy properly knows how to leave his lips relaxed so that they are soft and pliable. It allows for both of your lips to mesh together more easily and just feels much more intimate.

3) Occasionally use your hand (or hands) to lightly grab her chin or cheeks. Being the man, it makes you come across as more "dominant" to grab her face and "lead" the kiss by LIGHTLY directing her face where you want it to go with your hand.

You and Chase... I never consider these things to be "something" until you or him mentions them...

Well, to build off what Franco said:

4) Gently grab the nape of her neck when you kiss as well to pull her in softly while you kiss - the nape of the neck is an erogenous spot and makes the emotion behind the kissing much more passionate and deadly. The firmness of your grab should also synchronize with her emotion. Start off light, but as she gets more turned on, you should be grabbing a little more firmly.

5) When you get to lip biting be gentle (at first anyway). Bite down soft enough to feel her lips in your teeth then pull back a bit. I've had girls bite down so hard, and tug so hard on my lip that I had a little Jay-Z going on the next day.

6) Be sure to keep your eyes closed most of the time: it is incredibly awkward for women if you constantly have your eyes open and you're looking at them the entire time you're kissing.

 

[sneaky_charm]

Here's the secret to being a good kisser in my experience. Don't primarily kiss her on the lips. Now, of course you should start there and make sure she's comfortable kissing you first, but once that's established, move on. Kiss her on her neck and chest (no hickeys though. Girls hate guys who do that). Run your hand up and down her side, brush her breasts (fondle them once she's gotten used to you touching her intimately), and control her hips. Start moving your hands under her clothing by rubbing your entire palm over her stomach, then move up towards the breasts, then depending on her comfort level, down towards her pussy. All of these are great and really carry a sense of domination if done correctly. Basically, explore her whole body and don't be afraid to manhandle her a bit, no matter what kind of kiss you're going for.

Thanks so much! Just reading this I'm being able to feel the passion lol!

As for actually kissing - I can't give any tips because it's not something I learned to do it's just something that's very very natural for me.

Seems like I'll have to keep practicing until I get better and better!

The way I kiss isn't something that I can 100% accurately put into words - but every girl I've ever kissed has either been turned on, felt butterflies, or felt romantic afterwards.

Aah.....the diary of a master seducer...I'm gonna be able to impart butterflies too after a few months hopefully!

4) Gently grab the nape of her neck when you kiss as well to pull her in softly while you kiss - the nape of the neck is an erogenous spot and makes the emotion behind the kissing much more passionate and deadly. The firmness of your grab should also synchronize with her emotion. Start off light, but as she gets more turned on, you should be grabbing a little more firmly.

It may sound awkward, but how do I figure out whether she is getting turned on or not? Lol don't laugh!

1) Always have your head tilted slightly right or slightly left. I think it feels more natural for people to slightly tilt their head to the right. The purpose of this is to avoid nose contact. When you get comfortable with this, you can implement tilting your head in the middle of kissing to rub noses together or mix things up.

2) Never flex your lips. Always keep them relaxed and soft. Girls love when a guy properly knows how to leave his lips relaxed so that they are soft and pliable. It allows for both of your lips to mesh together more easily and just feels much more intimate.

3) Occasionally use your hand (or hands) to lightly grab her chin or cheeks. Being the man, it makes you come across as more "dominant" to grab her face and "lead" the kiss by LIGHTLY directing her face where you want it to go with your hand.

Thank you so much for the tips.....I'm going to keep these in mind! At least hope so, last time I tried kissing, when the actual moment came, I forgot everything I read on the internet!

There isn't really any "technique" for the actual tongue movements -- just have fun with that part and "dance" your tongue along with hers. =)

So basically, judging from the answers, there is no way to learn kissing without actually doing it, am I right Franco? Also, does that mean that anyone who has kissed a large number of girls is bound to be a good kisser, regardless of whether he is putting conscious efforts to improve or not?

NOTE: I'm a bit embarrassed to break it to you guys, actually a lot embarrassed, but I usually avoid kissing or making out because I feel like I'm gonna ejaculate. When a girl is physically near me, I cannot even think too sexual thoughts. It's one of the reasons why I didn't get physical with her.... viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7330

I've found masturbating before going out doesn't help. Any tips to keep my weenie from getting too excited from mild physical contacts or heavy sexual thoughts when a girl is near me? I'll greatly appreciate any input, because this is something that has been haunting me for years. FUCK I'm 20, and just writing that is making me feel like a faggot!

- Kevin

 

[Franco]

sneaky,

So basically, judging from the answers, there is no way to learn kissing without actually doing it, am I right Franco? Also, does that mean that anyone who has kissed a large number of girls is bound to be a good kisser, regardless of whether he is putting conscious efforts to improve or not?

Experience certainly helps, but being just a a bit conscious of what you're doing is good practice so that you're aware of what you might be doing right or wrong. Kissing is something that isn't very difficult, so if you feel like you're completely focused on how you're kissing rather than the actual enjoyment of kissing itself, then you're definitely putting way too much thought into it. Tilt your head, relax your lips, move in, and the rest will come to you. When you feel her lips move, it'll feel rather natural how yours should move as well. It's like a dance, except the girls usually enjoy leading!

NOTE: I'm a bit embarrassed to break it to you guys, actually a lot embarrassed, but I usually avoid kissing or making out because I feel like I'm gonna ejaculate. When a girl is physically near me, I cannot even think too sexual thoughts. It's one of the reasons why I didn't get physical with her.... viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7330

I've found masturbating before going out doesn't help. Any tips to keep my weenie from getting too excited from mild physical contacts or heavy sexual thoughts when a girl is near me? I'll greatly appreciate any input, because this is something that has been haunting me for years. FUCK I'm 20, and just writing that is making me feel like a faggot!

This is mostly just experience. Masturbating within an hour or two of the kiss can certainly help, but your arousal levels will tend to be more controllable once you have more experience kissing women. Don't even be afraid to cream your pants the first couple of times! It'll probably help you relax and focus more on your technique rather than your sexual excitement. If the girl finds out after some clothes come off, just say something like, "just the thought of what I want to do to you sent me over the edge. I want to take you with me this time... " and then proceed to physically escalate with her until you get hard again.

- Franco

 

[sneaky_charm]

Don't even be afraid to cream your pants the first couple of times! It'll probably help you relax and focus more on your technique rather than your sexual excitement.

I've considered this a number of times.

But every single time, I stop, thinking.....won't my pants get a bit wet after that? Wouldn't that be a disaster in a public place while leaving? Also, I feel like the smell of semen will be noticeable by anyone within close proximity!

Any tips on how to ejaculate in public without getting pants wet or without having the smell come out?

- Kevin

 

[Richard]

It may sound awkward, but how do I figure out whether she is getting turned on or not? Lol don't laugh!

When she starts to use tongue she is ready to move on to the next phase.

NOTE: I'm a bit embarrassed to break it to you guys, actually a lot embarrassed, but I usually avoid kissing or making out because I feel like I'm gonna ejaculate. When a girl is physically near me, I cannot even think too sexual thoughts. It's one of the reasons why I didn't get physical with her....

I've found masturbating before going out doesn't help. Any tips to keep my weenie from getting too excited from mild physical contacts or heavy sexual thoughts when a girl is near me? I'll greatly appreciate any input, because this is something that has been haunting me for years. FUCK I'm 20, and just writing that is making me feel like a faggot!

Creaming your pants (haha... I was dying when I read this Franco) is no big deal. In fact, a good friend of mine who is an expert seducer now actually busted his first nut with a girl while he was slipping his fingers in her. She didn't touch him, and his pants were already off so it was quite noticeable.

Anyway, I'll give you some information a little more in-depth about this. At least 7 guys from the boards have all PMed me about problems similar to yours and the answer is simple but still difficult: state control. I've said it time and time again on the boards that there is a direct mind-body connection: you get hard (body portion) and your mind synchronizes, so control your mind.

Anthony Robbins talks about a Triad of emotion, three things determine your state of mind, and consequently your bodies state, feelings, emotions etc. The Triad consists of:

• Physiology: Your overall body posture
• Language: The story you're telling yourself, the type of language you're using
• Focus: What you're concentrating on

These three things all affect one another - I'll give you an example that you probably have dealt with.

You get hard (physiology), you tell yourself a story (language) i.e. I can't touch this girl or I'll ejaculate! or I'm such a fucking bitch! She hasn't even touched me yet and I'm Mt. Vesuvius already, then you focus on that story, or you focus on how much you can't be sexual with her. These three things vastly affect and influence one another. If you think about fucking a girl now (focus and language) you will become hard (physiology).

But, when you learn to control your mind your body has no choice but to listen. If you learn to control your focus and language, or at least become cognizant of your focus and language then your physiology has no choice but to synchronize. When I chill with a girl, here is my Triad:

Language: "Mannn this girl is cute. She's sitting here all dressed up for me trying to impress me - she's got no idea what she's in for though!"
Focus: "THIS MOVIE IS HILARIOUS!"
Physiology: "Relaxed and calm"

Girls are no big deal, bro. Pussy is no big deal, bro. The more emphasis and focus you put on the girl, and being sexual with her the more wildly your dick is going to act.

Learn to control your mental game and everything else will fall in line.

 

[Franco]

sneaky,

Any tips on how to ejaculate in public without getting pants wet or without having the smell come out?

Well, you shouldn't be kissing girls in public locations! I always save the kiss for a private location first.

The only exception I have made to this rule is when I've taken a girl on a first date and just can't get her to comply with my requests to come home with me. I'll usually give her a quick kissing session (leaving her wanting more) and then part ways back to my car. So just make sure you're (A) wearing boxers/boxer briefs (don't go commando) and (B) you can quickly get home to shower/change after the kiss.

I wouldn't worry too much about the smell. It's really not that noticeable unless her nose is close to your private area, in which case that means her mouth is nearby as well!

- Franco

 

[sneaky_charm]

At least 7 guys from the boards have all PMed me about problems similar to yours

That's quite comforting to hear, to know that I'm not alone! I was freaking out thinking WTF is wrong with me!

Learn to control your mental game and everything else will fall in line.

The thing is, my mind is alert when talking and planning what to say next. I have almost no experience with girls, but I regularly talk to people I do not know, have been doing that for over an year now. These days, many try to befriend me even, after I compliment them and such, especially when they see me approach girls in park without giving a fuck. I don't know if it is essential to experience the state, but whenever I have conversations that go well, I feel like I'm on HYPER ALERT, like my mind is working 10 times faster, not a flinch, eye contact, hand gesture gets unnoticed.

However, what it comes to physical things, just the thoughts make my little partner excited, and I feel so helpless! I almost always fail trying to control state in that regard.

I wouldn't worry too much about the smell. It's really not that noticeable unless her nose is close to your private area, in which case that means her mouth is nearby as well!

The 'mouth is nearby as well' part made me laugh! Will have to think that way from now on. Well then, next time, I'll go wearing a dark thick jeans and a thick underwear, and just before going out, I'll let loose. So even if I 'cream my pants', there will be only small amount of cream since I already unloaded my cream an hour or two ago!

- Kevin