A
Anonymous
Guest
Hey guys, I've never really joined a forum before so forgive me if I'm doing something wrong. Anyway - I need some help in terms of what to do with a girl I have been chasing for far too long (4 years).
So I met this girl at school (when I was 14). We didnt really talk until I was 15, and I developed a crush on her. We sat next to each other in a class and we got on really well. I found out she had depression and we started talking on Facebook over Xmas holidays. I also had depression so we (over Facebook) told each other our reasons for being depressed and other Beth personal stuff. My reasons are abuse (which has lead to me having intimacy and abandonment issues) while she liked a female teacher (not a good sign for me).
She asked for my phone number and we text everyday (she didn't know of my feelings for her). When we got back to school, I no longer sat next to her in class (new seating plan). But we avoided each other in person from then on, feeling awkward in each others presence. We still spoke everyday in text however.
One day over text I (stupidly) told her I was in love with her, after about 4 months of texting. She responded saying stuff like "I wish you didn't tell me." "I don't understand how this could happen..." And "I don't think we can talk anymore". I then got upset and after a week of not taking, we began to text again as if it never happened.
Well time went on and I wanted to start seeing her in person. But she always said she couldn't, that she didnt want to see me. The few times we did see each other it was very awkward.
When we were 16 we left school and went to separate colleges, but we still text a lot. We got into more arguments about seeing each other - me getting frustrated she never wanted to see me.
She once told me about her male teacher she has begun to fancy. He had been seeing her outside of class. I responded with extreme jealousy.
We stopped taking for a number of months but finally met up. We had fun (saw a guy perform music and took her to the park) we were taking for hours and enjoying each others company. We hugged and I said goodbye. We started to text again and I asked to see her again but she kept flaking. I got angry and we stopped talking .
I think I was 17 by this point. It was Xmas holidays again and we started texting again. I asked to see her and she agreed. I took her to a restaurante (I paid) and then to another park. We touched a lot more and it ended with a very long hug. We organised to go to the cinema in a weeks time. However she flaked saying "I'm so sorry but I'm really busy with work.". I asked to see her a number of times after but she kept asking to reschedule. Once again we stopped texting.
I made contact again after summer holidays. (Both of us are now 18) We left our colleges now, I was entering work while she was going to uni (still living at home). We caught up in text and I said "we should meet up again soon", she avoided it by saying that she needs to get her uni stuff sorted. I said "we'll I'm going to Spain for a few days, so we'll organise it when I get back."
I never got round to texting her back until two months later (she didn't contact me). Since uni, and judging by faceboom photos it seemed she matured a lot (she was conservative. also the last time we spoke, we agreed neither of us had depression any more) That lead us to this October. I discovered chase by this point and just sent her a text saying
"Hey Katie* how's uni? You must be quite the party animal! I'm now an events organiser - one step closer to becoming a rock star. You up for grabbing lunch some time this week? My schedule is pretty open from Thursday. Let me know when's good for you." (Roughly, and * - not real name).
Her: "Howdy! Long time no speak, it's nice to hear from you
yeah that would be nice, either Wednesday or the weekend works beat for me."
We agreed to meet up Saturday, where I bought her lunch and we had desert at a lake. We had a lot of fun, and I noticed she was pulling her hair and we maintained long eye contact. I mentioned my ex girlfriend which she didnt know about, and she instantly looked away. After a little while I asked her if she liked anyone. After stuttering she said "it's complicated. I was seeing the teacher (the same one) but we stopped talking. He's recently started texting me again and apparently he's just had a divorce from a 6 year marriage so..."
She asked me and I told her I met a girl in Spain, but I probably won't see her again since she's in Spain, but she was asking a number of questions about her.
I drove her back to her place (we both still live with our parents). When I pulled up she said "are you gonna come out, or stay in the car". I told her I'd get out.
We were talking about her car and we got very close and maintained eye contact. I intended to kiss her throughout the date, but kept talking myself out of it. We had a
Long hug and she was about to go in her gate.
I then called her back and kissed her. We made out for like 6 seconds, her eyes were closed and we were holding each other. She said "I wasn't expecting that!" In a flirty way. I told her, while we were still holding each other.
"I'm not sure about you, but I saw this as a date." She hummed in a way which suggested "kind of".
I said "I wanted to see if things would play out, you seemed to have matured so I thought if take the risk". I was holding her hand.
She said "ah I see." I then made out with her again for like 9 seconds. I then laughed in the Kiss, she asked "what?" I said with a smile "you're a good kisser, you add much experience?"
She laughed and said "surprisingly not!" I said "you up for doing this again?" She said "definitely" I asked "when you around?" She said "I'm always around". That was the last Saturday in half term.
The day after I sent a Facebook message (her phone has stopped working) saying "I had fun yesterday, we should do or again sometime!". She replied saying "yes and yes"
Today (three days after the date) I sent her on Facebook. "Hey Katie* you fireworking tonight? I went to [firework display place] had a laugh! When shall we meet up?"
She then said "I'm fireworking at the weekend, we having a display in my garden with a load of people"
I said "sounds like fun, you around to meet up before then?"
She said "no, my Saturday is gone"
Without wanting to Persue her I said "ah have fun! If like to meet up some time"
She then said "yeah same, but I'm quite busy from here on, we'll figure it out"
I left it at that. I'm not planning to text her again, I'm going to wait until she texts me, as I don't want to chase her.
What do you think of this? Why has she suddenly become flakey again? It could be genuine since I'm guessing the first half term of uni is pretty chilled, now half term is finished it becomes more serious. She takes her studying very seriously, "using it as the reason she flaked before".
Another thing is her saying "it's complicated" in reference to the teacher. That makes things even more confusing...
What do you guys think? Do you think I should just play it cool and still be persueing other girls? Do you think she is starting to like me? Or do you think she's trying to show she's not interested? I would like a sort of analysis if anyone is willing to provide one
Many thanks!
So I met this girl at school (when I was 14). We didnt really talk until I was 15, and I developed a crush on her. We sat next to each other in a class and we got on really well. I found out she had depression and we started talking on Facebook over Xmas holidays. I also had depression so we (over Facebook) told each other our reasons for being depressed and other Beth personal stuff. My reasons are abuse (which has lead to me having intimacy and abandonment issues) while she liked a female teacher (not a good sign for me).
She asked for my phone number and we text everyday (she didn't know of my feelings for her). When we got back to school, I no longer sat next to her in class (new seating plan). But we avoided each other in person from then on, feeling awkward in each others presence. We still spoke everyday in text however.
One day over text I (stupidly) told her I was in love with her, after about 4 months of texting. She responded saying stuff like "I wish you didn't tell me." "I don't understand how this could happen..." And "I don't think we can talk anymore". I then got upset and after a week of not taking, we began to text again as if it never happened.
Well time went on and I wanted to start seeing her in person. But she always said she couldn't, that she didnt want to see me. The few times we did see each other it was very awkward.
When we were 16 we left school and went to separate colleges, but we still text a lot. We got into more arguments about seeing each other - me getting frustrated she never wanted to see me.
She once told me about her male teacher she has begun to fancy. He had been seeing her outside of class. I responded with extreme jealousy.
We stopped taking for a number of months but finally met up. We had fun (saw a guy perform music and took her to the park) we were taking for hours and enjoying each others company. We hugged and I said goodbye. We started to text again and I asked to see her again but she kept flaking. I got angry and we stopped talking .
I think I was 17 by this point. It was Xmas holidays again and we started texting again. I asked to see her and she agreed. I took her to a restaurante (I paid) and then to another park. We touched a lot more and it ended with a very long hug. We organised to go to the cinema in a weeks time. However she flaked saying "I'm so sorry but I'm really busy with work.". I asked to see her a number of times after but she kept asking to reschedule. Once again we stopped texting.
I made contact again after summer holidays. (Both of us are now 18) We left our colleges now, I was entering work while she was going to uni (still living at home). We caught up in text and I said "we should meet up again soon", she avoided it by saying that she needs to get her uni stuff sorted. I said "we'll I'm going to Spain for a few days, so we'll organise it when I get back."
I never got round to texting her back until two months later (she didn't contact me). Since uni, and judging by faceboom photos it seemed she matured a lot (she was conservative. also the last time we spoke, we agreed neither of us had depression any more) That lead us to this October. I discovered chase by this point and just sent her a text saying
"Hey Katie* how's uni? You must be quite the party animal! I'm now an events organiser - one step closer to becoming a rock star. You up for grabbing lunch some time this week? My schedule is pretty open from Thursday. Let me know when's good for you." (Roughly, and * - not real name).
Her: "Howdy! Long time no speak, it's nice to hear from you
yeah that would be nice, either Wednesday or the weekend works beat for me."We agreed to meet up Saturday, where I bought her lunch and we had desert at a lake. We had a lot of fun, and I noticed she was pulling her hair and we maintained long eye contact. I mentioned my ex girlfriend which she didnt know about, and she instantly looked away. After a little while I asked her if she liked anyone. After stuttering she said "it's complicated. I was seeing the teacher (the same one) but we stopped talking. He's recently started texting me again and apparently he's just had a divorce from a 6 year marriage so..."
She asked me and I told her I met a girl in Spain, but I probably won't see her again since she's in Spain, but she was asking a number of questions about her.
I drove her back to her place (we both still live with our parents). When I pulled up she said "are you gonna come out, or stay in the car". I told her I'd get out.
We were talking about her car and we got very close and maintained eye contact. I intended to kiss her throughout the date, but kept talking myself out of it. We had a
Long hug and she was about to go in her gate.
I then called her back and kissed her. We made out for like 6 seconds, her eyes were closed and we were holding each other. She said "I wasn't expecting that!" In a flirty way. I told her, while we were still holding each other.
"I'm not sure about you, but I saw this as a date." She hummed in a way which suggested "kind of".
I said "I wanted to see if things would play out, you seemed to have matured so I thought if take the risk". I was holding her hand.
She said "ah I see." I then made out with her again for like 9 seconds. I then laughed in the Kiss, she asked "what?" I said with a smile "you're a good kisser, you add much experience?"
She laughed and said "surprisingly not!" I said "you up for doing this again?" She said "definitely" I asked "when you around?" She said "I'm always around". That was the last Saturday in half term.
The day after I sent a Facebook message (her phone has stopped working) saying "I had fun yesterday, we should do or again sometime!". She replied saying "yes and yes
"Today (three days after the date) I sent her on Facebook. "Hey Katie* you fireworking tonight? I went to [firework display place] had a laugh! When shall we meet up?"
She then said "I'm fireworking at the weekend, we having a display in my garden with a load of people"
I said "sounds like fun, you around to meet up before then?"
She said "no, my Saturday is gone
"Without wanting to Persue her I said "ah have fun! If like to meet up some time"
She then said "yeah same, but I'm quite busy from here on, we'll figure it out"
I left it at that. I'm not planning to text her again, I'm going to wait until she texts me, as I don't want to chase her.
What do you think of this? Why has she suddenly become flakey again? It could be genuine since I'm guessing the first half term of uni is pretty chilled, now half term is finished it becomes more serious. She takes her studying very seriously, "using it as the reason she flaked before".
Another thing is her saying "it's complicated" in reference to the teacher. That makes things even more confusing...
What do you guys think? Do you think I should just play it cool and still be persueing other girls? Do you think she is starting to like me? Or do you think she's trying to show she's not interested? I would like a sort of analysis if anyone is willing to provide one
Many thanks!
