What the hell is Confidence ?

[One_of_kind_200]

Everywhere I go ppl tell me that ladies love confident men. Here's a thing I just read......... " Meet her confidence level and you'll be locking genitals in no time."


What the hell is her confidence level mean ?

 

[Grand Pooba]

Everywhere I go ppl tell me that ladies love confident men. Here's a thing I just read......... " Meet her confidence level and you'll be locking genitals in no time."


What the hell is her confidence level mean ?

Simply put, a healthy arrogance and ego, and being sure in yourself, your choices, and your direction.

 

[One_of_kind_200]

Everywhere I go ppl tell me that ladies love confident men. Here's a thing I just read......... " Meet her confidence level and you'll be locking genitals in no time."


What the hell is her confidence level mean ?

Simply put, a healthy arrogance and ego, and being sure in yourself, your choices, and your direction.

What does meet her confidence level mean?

 

[Ergon]

To act as if you have the capacity to get women of equal or higher caliber than her, and is if your self-steem is high. You don't play safe around her, you flirt.

I just finished the Chase's 7 day free mini course https://www.girlschase.com/signup/mini-course
You should check it out, he talks precisely about this in day 1 and 6.

 

[One_of_kind_200]

To act as if you have the capacity to get women of equal or higher caliber than her, and is if your self-steem is high. You don't play safe around her, you flirt.

I just finished the Chase's 7 day free mini course https://www.girlschase.com/signup/mini-course
You should check it out, he talks precisely about this in day 1 and 6.

So basically means that I dont think she is out of my league, right? Correct me if im wrong. Thanks homie.

 

[Bboy100]

Simply put, confidence is your body's internal measurement for likelihood of success weighed with the amount of risk you're taking. If there's a high chance of success with low perceived risk, you will feel confident. If there's a low chance of success with high perceived risk, you will feel unconfident. This is true for anything you do. Not just talking to pretty women.

So for example, if you've never played basketball in your life, your confidence in your ability to make a shot will be very low. But if you're just shooting by yourself, you won't feel "unconfident". Because even though you have a low probability of success, there's also no risk involved. Whereas if we put you in an competitive game (a situation where there is risk of losing), you will feel unconfident. Conversely, if you're actually a good basketball player in that same game and you know you're better than the other team, you will feel very high confidence.

In dating and socializing, its the same. If your body unconsciously believes you have a high probability of success, you will feel this magical thing women call "confidence". Whereas if you've had very little success in the past, you're likely to feel very unconfident and perhaps anxious.

So how do you increase confidence? Demonstrated performance. Basically, you need to gain positive reference points. Because as you gain positive reference points, your body will have good reason to believe that you can complete the task in front of you because you've done it many times in in the past. So your overall confidence will increase.

In the context of socializing and dating, confidence is almost a form of preselection. Because its nearly impossible to have genuine confidence if you haven't actually had some success with women and socializing in the past.

Also, understand that all confidence is contextual. Lets take the examples above: if you're a good basketball player, you may feel very confident on the court, but very unconfident when you're talking to a women. This makes perfect sense. Because playing basketball and socializing are two totally different skill sets. Therefore, the internal measurements for likelihood of success will be different for each.

Listen to this: http://thematinggrounds.com/the-mating- ... onfidence/
It explains everything I just told you & more in a lot more detail.

 

[jdoc]

Simply put, confidence is your body's internal measurement for likelihood of success weighed with the amount of risk you're taking. If there's a high chance of success with low perceived risk, you will feel confident. If there's a low chance of success with high perceived risk, you will feel unconfident. This is true for anything you do. Not just talking to pretty women.

So for example, if you've never played basketball in your life, your confidence in your ability to make a shot will be very low. But if you're just shooting by yourself, you won't feel "unconfident". Because even though you have a low probability of success, there's also no risk involved. Whereas if we put you in an competitive game (a situation where there is risk of losing), you will feel unconfident. Conversely, if you're actually a good basketball player in that same game and you know you're better than the other team, you will feel very high confidence.

In dating and socializing, its the same. If your body unconsciously believes you have a high probability of success, you will feel this magical thing women call "confidence". Whereas if you've had very little success in the past, you're likely to feel very unconfident and perhaps anxious.

So how do you increase confidence? Demonstrated performance. Basically, you need to gain positive reference points. Because as you gain positive reference points, your body will have good reason to believe that you can complete the task in front of you because you've done it many times in in the past. So your overall confidence will increase.

In the context of socializing and dating, confidence is almost a form of preselection. Because its nearly impossible to have genuine confidence if you haven't actually had some success with women and socializing in the past.

Also, understand that all confidence is contextual. Lets take the examples above: if you're a good basketball player, you may feel very confident on the court, but very unconfident when you're talking to a women. This makes perfect sense. Because playing basketball and socializing are two totally different skill sets. Therefore, the internal measurements for likelihood of success will be different for each.

Listen to this: http://thematinggrounds.com/the-mating- ... onfidence/
It explains everything I just told you & more in a lot more detail.

Excellent description bboy.

 

[One_of_kind_200]

Simply put, confidence is your body's internal measurement for likelihood of success weighed with the amount of risk you're taking. If there's a high chance of success with low perceived risk, you will feel confident. If there's a low chance of success with high perceived risk, you will feel unconfident. This is true for anything you do. Not just talking to pretty women.

So for example, if you've never played basketball in your life, your confidence in your ability to make a shot will be very low. But if you're just shooting by yourself, you won't feel "unconfident". Because even though you have a low probability of success, there's also no risk involved. Whereas if we put you in an competitive game (a situation where there is risk of losing), you will feel unconfident. Conversely, if you're actually a good basketball player in that same game and you know you're better than the other team, you will feel very high confidence.

In dating and socializing, its the same. If your body unconsciously believes you have a high probability of success, you will feel this magical thing women call "confidence". Whereas if you've had very little success in the past, you're likely to feel very unconfident and perhaps anxious.

So how do you increase confidence? Demonstrated performance. Basically, you need to gain positive reference points. Because as you gain positive reference points, your body will have good reason to believe that you can complete the task in front of you because you've done it many times in in the past. So your overall confidence will increase.

In the context of socializing and dating, confidence is almost a form of preselection. Because its nearly impossible to have genuine confidence if you haven't actually had some success with women and socializing in the past.

Also, understand that all confidence is contextual. Lets take the examples above: if you're a good basketball player, you may feel very confident on the court, but very unconfident when you're talking to a women. This makes perfect sense. Because playing basketball and socializing are two totally different skill sets. Therefore, the internal measurements for likelihood of success will be different for each.

Listen to this: http://thematinggrounds.com/the-mating- ... onfidence/
It explains everything I just told you & more in a lot more detail.

Nice but how to convey confidence in talking to women in bars, clubs, or coffee shops. One girl says " When I'm on my headphones, I like a confident guy to approach me." I dont understand the relationship between headphones and confidence.

 

[Bastian]

One girl says " When I'm on my headphones, I like a confident guy to approach me." I don't understand the relationship between headphones and confidence.

Headphones are the technological equivalent to closed body language. Imagine approaching a girl with a frown + closed arms, a guy with "normal" approach anxiety would find it terrifyingly nerve wracking; it would take someone with an ego AND positive experience points to believe they can turn her negative emotional state into a positive one, or at least get a number/date/lay.

Nobody likes to be approached by someone who can't form two coherent sentences, so what that basically means is that headphones are intimidating and you need confidence to offset that "fear factor" created by intimidating body language.

BBoy explains confidence perfectly. I can feel like a beast after pistol squats, but that sure as hell don't translate to socializing in groups!

 

[Bboy100]

I think you misunderstand the nature of confidence. Confidence is not the sum of a checklist of actions or things you do. It's what you are. Women (and most people who are even semi-intuitive) can sense confidence or lack therof. So when you ask me "what to do" to approach women with confidence in bars and clubs and on headphones or whatever, my answer is exactly the same. You need to first have lots of positive reference points. Once you have lots of positive reference points, you will be confident and you will come off as confident to these women. Confidence in of itself is not an external action. It's an internal state.

Here's an analogy: Your question is basically like asking me "how can I look like I'm in super good shape to women when I'm actually a fatass?". Like...the question doesn't even make sense. You're either in shape or you're not. If you're in shape, you don't really have to do anything. If you're fat, there's no action you can take to come off as in shape. The only solution is to hit the gym and get your diet together, thereby causing you to actually be in good shape. Well confidence is the same way. You either are or you aren't. And if you're not, you need to take long-term steps to fix it.

 

[Drck]

Confidence is sort of state of mind, respectively how you feel and think in particular situation... how you feel about yourself and your surroundings...

When you are home or among your friends, you are usually quite confident. You feel comfortable, you can say what you want to say, you have no fear being judged, you are not afraid of being criticized because everybody knows you, you know everyone, you are familiar with your surrounding... Your confidence is relatively high, you are not anxious, you feel no fear, you are quite comfortable...

But step out in front of 100 strangers on a podium and try to give public speech for several minutes. Most people will get very anxious and sweaty, they will have shaky voice... They will not feel well about talking in public because they are usually afraid of how others (strangers) perceive them, how will they judge them, how till they criticize them, how will they talk behind their back about them... Most people will usually have very low confidence, high anxiety and fear from public speaking... They say that fear from public speaking may be even higher than fear from death itself...

So most people will not be comfortable at all while in front of strangers, they know that many others could easily judge any little mistake they make.... As the time goes though and you gain some experience in public speaking, you will calm down... You will relax, you will stop worrying about what others thinks about you... You'll simply stop giving a damn what others think of you and you say what you want to say (see Trump's speeches, he could care less about what others think about him)... As the time goes you will gain more experience and your confidence will increase, while anxiety will decrease...

Similarly, when you meet a new girl that you really like your confidence will be low because you are experiencing some fear - you fear whether she accepts you, you are anxious not to mess up and not to say anything stupid.... You worry about her judging you and possibly telling something bad about you to other girls, you worry that you will not impress her enough, perhaps you worry that others will laugh at you... Your anxiety is very high because you fear rejection from someone you really really like... You somehow know that the rejection can be devastating to you, and the fear may even paralyze you - you will feel the fear so intensively that you even give up on approaching that girl and talking to her, just so you can avoid the pain of rejection... Many guys are paralyzed by approaching girls, they are so anxious that they are unable to talk to the girl... They are so fearful of the rejection(s) that they will not approach pretty girl(s) that they want...

Now switch it around: As the time goes you improve your mindset: You start believing that you are the one who is more Valuable in the possible relationship (High Value Man). She may be pretty but you don't really perceive her as a great catch because you also know that she has her faults, that she is not perfect, as a matter of fact - she is just a human... You also know that you can easily talk to many other girls (Abundance Mentality) thus you don't worry much about what one particular girl thinks and says about you... You know that you can make many mistakes and there will always be plenty of girls that will like you regardless... You perceive her as cute/silly/sexy girl who you can have great fun with, but who is really just harmless to you (can't hurt your feelings)... You feel comfortable around her, you don't really worry about rejections or anything else because you know that no matter what happens - the life will go on (Outcome Independence), and you can be quite happy without her (no Neediness and Clinginess, Independence)...

You also improved your feelings (through relaxation and meditation) so whenever you talk to girl(s) you are relaxed and calm, you are no longer anxious... You feel good in your own skin, you are comfortable... You can say and do what you want and you feel happy about it - your confidence is high...

And you also improve your believes... If you keep telling yourself that you are a useless guy who has low value and no girl wants him, well, that shall become your destiny. Your Mind will only do as you believe... If, on the other hand, you start telling yourself that you are very attractive, and every girl wants to be with you (Assume Attraction), that also shall become your destiny... Believe, above all, is the most powerful tool you can have in your Entire Life...

Every Man shall chose wisely his believes as they create his Destiny...