I've been having an issue that I've tried to overcome for a while now on my own through persistence and grit but it doesn't seem to be working. So I've decided to ask my fellow self improvement mates for advice. I have a lack of motivation to do cold approach. I used to walk all around campus back when I started around January, but now it's just hard for me to be very consistent. For a week now I've not cold approached and before this week, I don't approach as much girls as I should. Although I do not have specific venues for cold approach, I just approach girls around campus during day time and at night when they're out to chill and get barbecue. But here's the thing, although I'm lacking motivation for cold approach, I'm still gaming. I've been doing social circle and Instagram gaming. IG I just started recently, social circle I've been doing for a while. I believe I'm not getting results because I'm not approaching massively. I thought at first that this was a case of AA, and I'm not saying my AA is totally gone, but I believe it's something else. It's lack of motivation as it isn't only affecting my cold approaches but also other aspects of my life. Of late I've just lacked motivation generally for everything I'm involved in - school, writing, business, etc. And it just really sucks. If I were to do a psychoanalysis on myself I might say I'm trying to find a purpose or rather a plan to achieving my dreams, but I'm getting frustrated along the way. Lack of motivation really sucks and any tips on overcoming it would be much appreciated. I'll probably have to take a day off to do some meditation and deep thinking so I can refocus my life and put in more passion in the things I decide to pursue. Currently, I'm feeling kinda depressed and the good (or bad?) thing about it is that it doesn't show. I still interact with people normally, but within me I feel like shit. So pls do tell, what shall I do?
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First and foremost you need to understand that motivation is an explosive source of power, and because of that it doesn't last long. Motivation is typically used to do things that you don't care all that much about; for me, it's weight lifting. I don't get a ton of intrinsic pleasure from weight lifting so I have to psych myself up in order to do it.
Next, you need to understand how it's different from inspiration, which is a source of steady power and lasts for huge bouts of time. Inspiration is what you feel when you're naturally drawn to do something just to do it; for me, that's pool, disc golf, psychology, etc.
So, you're not lacking motivation, you're lacking inspiration in that you don't see anything ahead that drives you. Looking forward into your future (short or long term) you're not seeing anything exciting. Would you be out cold approaching if you knew it would land you your future wife, or an amazing girlfriend, or the best sex you've ever had til now? Whatever your goal in learning pick-up is, would you be out cold approaching if you knew with 100% certainty that you would reach that goal by doing cold approach? You're damn right you would, you wouldn't even finish this sentence.
The solution is to create a vision for yourself and focus on it - if you see yourself not reaching it then you should immediately get angry, pissed, and depressed, and if you think about it then you should immediately feel a "pull" to go and achieve it. When I think about becoming a national speaker, or writing a book/story about consciousness, or becoming a leadership development counselor this is what I feel majorly.
Anyway, the issue you're having right now is called a "stuck structure," and you'll typically reach this point if you're doing any of the following;
1) Chasing a dream that isn't true to you. (called a negative vision) People that pursue money, fame, or status typically are very depressed people because of this. Money, fame, and status are the byproducts of achieving what you really want. GirlsChase is a great example of this; Chase did not come up with this site because he wanted fame or notoriety or even money, he wanted to help guys overcome the same issues that held him back... and that pure reason is what attracts people to it, and it's what inspires people to buy his products.
2) Fear is holding you back. (analysis paralysis is a type of "stuck structure")
3) You're telling yourself a shitty story.
4) You haven't decide to truly commit yourself.
Last thing is this; you're responsible for what happens in your life, everything from emotions to actions are dictated by you and you alone. If you're tired of feeling how you feel then simply make the conscious decision to overcome it, tell yourself you're tired of it and that you won't stand for it anymore. Then, set new standards and write out what a meaningful future on your terms would be and then pursue it regardless of what comes your way.
-Richard
Next, you need to understand how it's different from inspiration, which is a source of steady power and lasts for huge bouts of time. Inspiration is what you feel when you're naturally drawn to do something just to do it; for me, that's pool, disc golf, psychology, etc.
So, you're not lacking motivation, you're lacking inspiration in that you don't see anything ahead that drives you. Looking forward into your future (short or long term) you're not seeing anything exciting. Would you be out cold approaching if you knew it would land you your future wife, or an amazing girlfriend, or the best sex you've ever had til now? Whatever your goal in learning pick-up is, would you be out cold approaching if you knew with 100% certainty that you would reach that goal by doing cold approach? You're damn right you would, you wouldn't even finish this sentence.
The solution is to create a vision for yourself and focus on it - if you see yourself not reaching it then you should immediately get angry, pissed, and depressed, and if you think about it then you should immediately feel a "pull" to go and achieve it. When I think about becoming a national speaker, or writing a book/story about consciousness, or becoming a leadership development counselor this is what I feel majorly.
Anyway, the issue you're having right now is called a "stuck structure," and you'll typically reach this point if you're doing any of the following;
1) Chasing a dream that isn't true to you. (called a negative vision) People that pursue money, fame, or status typically are very depressed people because of this. Money, fame, and status are the byproducts of achieving what you really want. GirlsChase is a great example of this; Chase did not come up with this site because he wanted fame or notoriety or even money, he wanted to help guys overcome the same issues that held him back... and that pure reason is what attracts people to it, and it's what inspires people to buy his products.
2) Fear is holding you back. (analysis paralysis is a type of "stuck structure")
3) You're telling yourself a shitty story.
4) You haven't decide to truly commit yourself.
Last thing is this; you're responsible for what happens in your life, everything from emotions to actions are dictated by you and you alone. If you're tired of feeling how you feel then simply make the conscious decision to overcome it, tell yourself you're tired of it and that you won't stand for it anymore. Then, set new standards and write out what a meaningful future on your terms would be and then pursue it regardless of what comes your way.
-Richard
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2013
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- 865
That was an excellent post from Richard. Heed that advice.
Nick
Nick
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- 1,819
Bboy100 said:
This isn't as clear cut as I probably made it seem. None of the things I said came from a book but instead from my mentors in life coaching. A ton of the books I've read have all touched on what I talked about but no book concretely goes into motivation, etc.
So, you won't find what you're looking for inside a book unless you want to read tons of them like I did and then thread the needle from book to book picking up what sticks out in each one and then tying it all together. Basically, no book is going to follow the Chapter 1: Motivation, Chapter 2: Inspiration, blah blah blah format.
However, if you're willing to pick up pieces book by book then I'd recommend the following to you;
1) The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo
2) The Magician's Way by William Whitecloud
3) The Last Shaman by William Whitecloud
Read them in that order and feel free to PM me if you do so. I love the topic and I love teaching it but it's not something that's easy to learn just by reading. If I didn't have the mentors I did I would never have picked up any of this stuff.
-Richard