Socializing What to do when a guy friend acts aggressively jealous in social circle

[lux7]

BACKGROUND
I was at this company party and ended up chatting with this very cute girl, both of us were evidently flirtatious.

THE EVENT
Suddenly this colleague I had never really put on my radar comes up and puts his arm around the girl's body so that they both stand in front of me, facing me, and he says looking straight at me "hey (my name)", with an assertive attitude as to mark the territory.
I didn't even know this idiot's name, but I just thought he was an overly jealous BF and I cut the conversation short moving somewhere else.

THE GUY FRIEND
Stupid that I am, I gave for granted he was the BF.
Several days later I would get to know from the dude himself they were just flatmates -and he boasted he's not interested in her as she's not smart enough and he's got high standards... -.

MY PATHETIC BUTT HURT FEELINGS
Since then I am angry at myself for having let this idiot rob me of an occasion and, even more, for the fact he drove me away without any right ("protective flatmate" doesn't come with any rights) which feels a bit humiliating.
And now I have this feeling like I have to get back at him for having "dominated" me.

BUT WHAT SHOULD HAVE I DONE?
Yet I'm not even sure how could have I handled that situation.

What would you have done? Maybe ask how do they know each other.
And once they say they're flatmates? Asking if they are in a relationship as well?
And then if he says no but keeps that same body language of physical contact with her while I'm just talking without any physical touch... ? Keep insisting from a position of weakness?

 

[lux7]

... Anyone?

You know when you have the feeling you gotta get over something?
This situation is like that for me, every time I see that guy gotta fight the feeling he's one-upped me and how would it would feel to kick his ass .


How would you deal with (aggressive) male cockblocker from your own social circle, but in a light enough way you don't completely destroy a work relationship (the fucker is extremely well connected ?

 

[trashKENNUT]

lux7,

First mistake is you move away.

How would you deal with (aggressive) male cockblocker from your own social circle, but in a light enough way you don't completely destroy a work relationship (the fucker is extremely well connected ?

Depends on how the girl reacts though. If she respects him, kind of like how some girls do not have their own brains and if she is not interested in you. She will allow him in the conversation. I have talk to Chase about this. Not exactly about the same situation but around it.

If she doesn't respond and she respects him, being direct with something like "Does your friend always do this?", will not work well. The best way is to be direct. I have been direct to some people by telling guys, "I like to talk to her in private" whenever they just suddenly interupt. I will then look at her. She will nod at the guy and give a folded lips, kind of like when you are disappointed.

If she doesn't, most likely she is not worth it.

Zac

 

[lux7]

LOL, funny enough this guy did EXACTLY the same thing again, except slightly less obvious because it was the beginning of the evening and booze hadn't yet been flowing freely for hours.

And except it was with a colleague, and this time I knew what he was up to and...

THE PEOPLE
.. and the girl he hugged likes me quite a bit both as a person and, probably, as a sexual being (an evening before we were out in a group and she said something about me in front of her boyfriend I couldn't catch but the BF got offended and she apologized many times to him.
Prolly she said I was sexy/cool?)

As part of the background, the guy who seems to have a passion in tooling me is well known and connected in the company structure and he's got a "powerfully sounding title" which would make him theoretically -but only theoretically- a boss to the girl in question.

Back to the story:
I was already chatting with her 1:1, smiling a lot and flirting a bit.
And he joins.

THE "MOVE"
It was the 3 of us for a few back and forth, we were bantering and I was making fun of her, all in light mood.
After another joke from me to her, he pretends to take her defenses and moves close to her, puts his arm across her, and stare at me as if to create an "us VS you" scenario.

AGAIN!
WHAT FOR!

Mothafucker, once was enough, but you better take my scalp if you want to corner me again just out of spite .

MY ANSWER
What I did was simply ignoring his gesture and keep the bantering, don't look at him, and don't even look at her not to make it too obvious I wanted to win her back.
Except I had the bantering a bit more daring now towards her, and I was very confident she was going to like it (we were talking about how she kept moving her desk all the times and now the joke was that they kicked her away because designers / front end developers aren't "real" developers: the joke is pointless of course, you gotta imagine it in an already happy and flirty mood .
She cracks up laughing even harder.

His frame of "defending" her is broken.
His physical attempt of making the two of them against me was now pointless, so he let go of his arm and, a little later, he exits.


Now I'm happy

 

[trashKENNUT]

lux7,

Ok, read the post. Understood the detail

Zac