What to do when GF or date is giving approach invitations to other men?

sandsnow

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Mar 27, 2022
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Since I got into the PUA scene in 2017, I've had 2 girlfriends that I got with Instagram game.

While I'm single right now, I've been thinking about my past fuck-ups and current sticking points,

I realized that there's this specific situation that always boggles my mind and throws me off.

which is, what to do or what to think, when a girlfriend or a date gives approach invitations to other guys while they're on date or going with you?

and by approach invitations, I mean they keep looking to the other guys, hold eye contact with them and smile while looking at them.

Most of the time I just ignore it and act as if I didn't see anything.
Some times I kinda pull back as a punishment or cut the date short and move on to another girl.

what do y'all think:
1- what does it mean when they give approach invitations to other guys while they're with me?
2- how should I handle it & think about it?

Thanks!
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
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Mar 16, 2015
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1,018
Since I got into the PUA scene in 2017, I've had 2 girlfriends that I got with Instagram game.

While I'm single right now, I've been thinking about my past fuck-ups and current sticking points,

I realized that there's this specific situation that always boggles my mind and throws me off.

which is, what to do or what to think, when a girlfriend or a date gives approach invitations to other guys while they're on date or going with you?

and by approach invitations, I mean they keep looking to the other guys, hold eye contact with them and smile while looking at them.

Most of the time I just ignore it and act as if I didn't see anything.
Some times I kinda pull back as a punishment or cut the date short and move on to another girl.

what do y'all think:
1- what does it mean when they give approach invitations to other guys while they're with me?
2- how should I handle it & think about it?

Thanks!
Never been in this position before so it was neat to think about


First thing I would most likely do if I caught it, would be to look at the guy in question first and ask myself:
1) is he a movie star?
2) does he look like a normal human (I'd probably look too if, say there was a clown in the building or something)

Assuming that's not the case, I'd call her out on it "you know that guy or something?" If she asks why then say that it seemed like she was staring at him

All with the understanding that if there isn't a story there that makes sense, he was an ex, someone she knows from work or etc (and even then) it's not looking too good for her and me. If I liked her then I'd wait a few minutes and then move the date "these seats are uncomfortable, let's walk around"

But yeah, all theoretical since I can't think of a time where that's happened
 

topcat

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Dec 20, 2012
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699
I've seen it, but never with a chick that was head over heels for me or seriously considering me. Only with girls that weren't fully sold on me or with partners where things were rocky or I had become "predictable" - she was used to me, and probably somewhat bored.

If your chick is doing this, you're not a great enough sexual or emotional fixture in her life, to where time spent with you allows room for her to signal others.

I wouldn't address it personally. The best way to address the issue effectively would be to structurally change your approach to her and the relationship.
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
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6,553
1- what does it mean when they give approach invitations to other guys while they're with me?

A girl was openly intrigued by me standing in the train.

Yea.. i experienced this a lot this days even when i dress casually. It is just how it is and a lot of guys have make enemies with me and i don't even do anything in the physical world.

So becareful of fundamentals. :)
And I respect all guys comments here but Females are generally curious.


If she is staring openly/open body language, stretch your arm without really stretching your arm. Bring her focus back to you. Don't say anything.

If she does not have a full open body language, don't force the defence.

z@c+

 

Alpha13SC

Cro-Magnon Man
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Sep 13, 2021
Messages
342
So this never happened to me, but I had 2 dates with 2 different girls, one who somehow was still in love with his ex, and I played it cool and ran my game as usual. But it didn t work. I did it, because in the past I had same situation, with a girl, but she was into me and was a 2nd day lay, so it was good.

Second girl, date, mentioned a guy and she reacted too strong. Acted cool, didn't realized back then.

Now, if something like this would happen, the situation wouldn t be great for us, so low chances to happen something, so better I should do something new to learn from it, and I have 2 choices:

1. Act dismissive, then eventually saying "I think we re done here." She ll get it. Is just that I dismiss bad behavior and reward good behavior. And if she gonna do something, good. If not, then, chances are it wouldn t have happen anyways. I don't know the outcome, I would just do it to see the reaction and learn from it. She has to get that I have boundaries. I pass shit tests. But it's a difference between small acts of disrespect and full disrespect. And maybe I would ask myself if there was something better which I could have done with my game.

2. 'Do you like that guy?" and maybe continue with "would you like a threesome with all 3?" confidently. Because I am a strong man, who has option. A situation like this can happen. And maybe it s for good because he would be her soulmate and vice versa. Why would I stay in their way?

But this has to come strongly instead on butthurt. As @Will said. If you're coming from a place of strength, you'll appear strong.

Note: I would do this just to gather experience. Sometimes I do and say crazy shit just to get a reaction and learn from it. For me, sometimes it's better than getting the lay.

Alpha13SC
 

StrayDog

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Feb 23, 2022
Messages
656
first off, if this is happening in the first place you gotta run some diagnostics and figure out why your dates are acting this way. If she is doing this overtly in front of you, that is pointing towards something in the way you are running game. If you really have a woman hooked she won't do this unless maybe your attainability is too low and she is trying to make you jealous. But chances are there is some other issue going on to where she thinks she can get away with blatantly flirting with other dudes in front of you. If it's a long-term partner, you are best identifying where you are slipping and restructuring your approach towards the relationship. If it is not serious yet, all depending on the dynamic you two have, you can rib her a bit
-"hey, looks like somebodies got a crush"
-"So many cute guys out tonight, how ever do you control yourself?"
-"oh, I'm not into that kind of threesome"
-"did you double book? our dates not over for another (looking at your watch) 10 minutes". If her buy-in is super low she might end things right there with this one, but if she is invested she now has a little time to shape up
-Sing some Sinatra " Strangers in the night, exchanging glances, they were strangers in the night, what were the chances"

All of these require confidence and a great deal of chill "I am just having fun teasing you, but not perturbed" sort of energy.
I would only take that approach if she is really distracted by the whole thing or it felt like she was doing it to shit test me or something. Otherwise, just let it slide and focus on building chemistry. People's eyes wander sometimes. Don't treat it as a threat or a make a big deal out of it. If this keeps happening on dates, work on your fundamentals and ensure you have their full attention
 
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