What was the turning point for you in seduction?

[lukeblaze]

So, I'm seriously committed to practice game now.
And I'm curious: when was the moment you knew you had internalized this skillset? What was the turning point? And how long did it take you to reach it?
I think talking about it would be a good way to motivate newbies (like me)

 

[Tony D]

Took me three months, 90 nights of nightgame, to finally pull. I didn't sleep with her until our third date. But I pulled her that first night from a party to my place and made out. It felt like a miracle after 90 days of rejections, crippling AA, and flakes.

I remember going on MASF and whining about my struggles, and then a few months later talking about how much sex I was having with three different girls. That was around 2 years after I'd started. About that time I started teaching for a living.

 

[lukeblaze]

Took me three months, 90 nights of nightgame, to finally pull. I didn't sleep with her until our third date. But I pulled her that first night from a party to my place and made out. It felt like a miracle after 90 days of rejections, crippling AA, and flakes.

I remember going on MASF and whining about my struggles, and then a few months later talking about how much sex I was having with three different girls. That was around 2 years after I'd started. About that time I started teaching for a living.

That's encouraging to hear. 90 nights seems like a long time, but I think it's quite a good time frame.
Of course, everyone's learning curve is different, but I expected something around... 3 years maybe?

 

[ulrich]

The moment I learned the concept of attainability.

I always was somewhat of a valuable guy (with lots of opportunities on fundamentals and game) but I was missing almost all my sets because I tended to overplay them.

Once I realized I was scarying women away with my hard to get attitude, things started going my way.

Still, it took 3-6 months to properly internalize it.

 

[lukeblaze]

The moment I learned the concept of attainability.

I always was somewhat of a valuable guy (with lots of opportunities on fundamentals and game) but I was missing almost all my sets because I tended to overplay them.

Once I realized I was scarying women away with my hard to get attitude, things started going my way.

Still, it took 3-6 months to properly internalize it.

I have the opposite problem. I game girls pretty hard when I try to meet them and they get scared. I'm working on my fundamentals and compliance to try to do less of the work

 

[Tony D]

That's encouraging to hear. 90 nights seems like a long time, but I think it's quite a good time frame.
Of course, everyone's learning curve is different, but I expected something around... 3 years maybe?

There's no predetermined time frame for getting good with girls. There are too many variables. Your genetics being one of them.

 

[Lover]

I never had the time to commit long bursts of effort into improving. And I was also scared of seriously improving for some reason and read a lot of material instead. One importamt turning point for me was to let go of all the reading and applying stuff more, even if I had little time.

Another is to realize that a lot of women are actually attracted to me, and that I have bigger pool to choose from than I thought. All that I have to do if I am attracted to someone, is just go talk to them and see what happens

And the big one: seeing how I'm looking for better overall quality when I meet new women. It gets harder to settle for less than you want when you know what it's like to get some overall great women!

 

[Atlas IV]

And the big one: seeing how I'm looking for better overall quality when I meet new women. It gets harder to settle for less than you want when you know what it's like to get some overall great women!

Yes - this is a major one for me. After getting back into game after a break of several years, I realized that from doing game, my standards have leveled up not just in terms of looks, but personality and emotional chemistry too. Where in the past I might have had the patience to slog it through for the lay, nowadays I just can't stand dating a boring girl anymore (unless she's super stunning). I mean, there are so many fun AND beautiful girls out there, why settle for less?

 

[Will_V]

So, I'm seriously committed to practice game now.
And I'm curious: when was the moment you knew you had internalized this skillset? What was the turning point? And how long did it take you to reach it?
I think talking about it would be a good way to motivate newbies (like me)

The best way to motivate yourself is to be a little bit better than yesterday. Otherwise you start comparing yourself to other people and maybe even your successes don't seem as enjoyable since someone else did it faster/better.

Also, the concept of 'turning points' is again not the best way to frame things. Sometimes you can have a sudden success where things aligned for whatever reason and then a dry spell for a while. Over time, consistency improves, but at the beginning things can be variable.

Success is incremental improvement in both performance and consistency, which comes from practice, and practice comes from being able to accept whatever happens today and going out there again tomorrow.

I will say that once you start getting laid, there is a sudden jump because all the limiting beliefs you use to have simply don't have a place to stay anymore. You know that a chance encounter can lead to sex, you've done it, you've felt it, and that changes you internally and externally in ways that massively improve the odds of it happening again. That's why it's so beneficial to be open minded and enjoying yourself so that you don't spurn the first opportunities you get.

 

[Kvothe]

So many

Finding GC and realizing seduction is a skill that can be improved

My first approach-realizing you could talk to a random girl and the world wouldn't end, the thought police didn't exist, and life really is a choose your own adventure

My first hook-realizing girls can enjoy talking with a random person on the street

My first number-realizing that girls will be down to trade contact information with guys they don't know

My first date-the excitement of going out with someone I'd met for 5 minutes and understanding that's all it takes sometimes

My first pull-knowing that women will come home with you, no matter your skill level

Losing my virginity to a booty call-realizing super hot women can find me sexually attractive

My first cold approach lay-knowing I had the skill to successfully seduce a girl traveling and navigate the obstacles she had so that she would come home with me and we would become lovers

My first FB-realizing girls are okay being sexual with me without needing commitment

My first 10-realizing I can get the highest caliber of women

My first coaching call with teevs/hector-realizing how many philosophies exist and that I can choose how to integrate them into myself

My first time going out with wings-knowing I had a community with people I could grow even faster with

 

[Higher]

I expected something around... 3 years maybe?

Took me longer than that and i still hit some major roadblocks due to lack of confidence/leading skills.

Part of the reason is, as Tony said, genetics/personality, and i guess also your age. I started working on this stuff from scratch at 38, and it was hard to challenge internally well-set beliefs.

And i agree with Kvothe, there were many checkpoints. But i also find you never really "reach it" - its a life-long journey of self-discovery.

 

[Lantern]

The moment I learned the concept of attainability.

I always was somewhat of a valuable guy (with lots of opportunities on fundamentals and game) but I was missing almost all my sets because I tended to overplay them.

Once I realized I was scarying women away with my hard to get attitude, things started going my way.

Still, it took 3-6 months to properly internalize it.

Read the title and came her to write this, but you beat me to it. Exactly the same for me.

It also help me internalize that seduction is not an algorithm of steps or a game of chess, but a dance.