What's new

Special Girl  What was your earliest rejection in life? (AA origin story)

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
614
Even if you do not want to share, I think it may be valuable for you all to think as far back as you can in life to your first experiences with girls as a child and try to remember the first rejection you ever had.

I was listening to this interview with Adam Lyons. At the 30 minute mark, he tells a story of helping his 5 year old step son through his first experience of rejection. What stood out to me was that he recognized that this was the genesis of approach anxiety for the child. Luckily he was able to turn it around with preselection.


This really got some wheels turning in my head - the idea that despite all the evolutionary theory of small-tribe dangers of approaching, we are not born with strong approach anxiety. Early rejection may have played a part in bringing that circuitry to a head.

***

I have always loved girls and would try to hang with them more than guys, though it was pretty balanced overall. My first experience with a girl was trying to get her to jump off the playground equipment with me at 4 or 5 years old.

My first rejection though was at 6 years old. I would hang with a group of 3 girls making snow forts and such. My preference was the blonde, but I liked all three. My mom made friends with her mom outside the school and she would come over to the house. I remember guiding her on the computer mouse so I could touch her hand.

I told my sister that I liked this girl and got steered toward provider game. She helped me make a little ring out of beads and put it in a ring box. In the backyard one day I gave it to her and told her that I liked her. She immediately ran away to have "girl talk" with my sister by the swingset and that was the end of that.

It sounds like nothing, but this felt like a very deep rejection. I can still picture making the ring at the kitchen table, as well as where I was standing outside and her running away.

This killed my potential trajectory as a natural until I lost my virginity at 14 years old. I luckily never went back to provider game, but my potential as a natural got shot further down by getting way too into cannabis during high school and university.

Soon after, I found Girls Chase and got into a 6 month fling off my first ever cold approach with a real head turner. After that I laid four new women in a month and have been obsessed ever since. I have been slowed by health issues that are behind me now and have been back in the game for close to a year now.

So now that I am finally aiming to pivot away from online game and begin the cold approach journey by moving to a more populated area and really get some volume in, I found thinking back on this early experience way more enlightening than is probably coming through in this post.

So much confusion with girls got ingrained deep in my psyche that day. Unfortunately I did not have a PUA with me there to pull me aside and say to go hit on her friends the next day at recess.

Now I can completely minimize the rejection by realizing we were 6 years old and I don't know what I expected to happen anyways. It would be another lifetime before we hit puberty.

But now I see that I was not rejected. It was the approach. I showed incredibly strong interest before she had earned it or shown any herself. I attempted to trade something material for her affections. And I got stuck in oneitis instead of moving on to other girls.

So I hope you guys getting going at cold approach like me remember that our fear is partly learned. If you regress a bit to the experience, it may just help you minimize its importance and hekp extinguish the fear. A kid will put his hand right in the fire before realizing it can hurt, and then may never try again. But if you are a little more thoughtful in how you reach out toward the flame, you just might find it feels quite nice and keeps you warm at night.
 

TwoNameGame

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 12, 2024
Messages
156
Even if you do not want to share, I think it may be valuable for you all to think as far back as you can in life to your first experiences with girls as a child and try to remember the first rejection you ever had.
My very first was a boring soft rejection. In kindergarten, I got a girl's home telephone number and address and made a grand gestures of bringing gifts. She friendzoned me. It didn't give me approach anxiety, but I pretty much stopped seeing her in first grade so I didn't learn anything.

My 1st real rejection was pretty amusing. I was in freshman year of high school and Homecoming was coming up. I had no clue what I was doing and I asked some classmates for help and came up with a pick-up line for a girl I hadn't spoken to. I also found some beginner PUA tips, including a video by Gambler recommending I lower her panties while dancing (I was smart enough to avoid that potential jail sentence, but to this day I refuse to consider Gambler's advice on anything). That was my intro to the men's dating industry: pickup lines from forums (most were sexual, which I refused to use).

My classmates kept asking who it was, but I didn't want to cause drama so I remained tight-lipped. Before class, I walked with her and talked to her. We got inside the class and the guys congratulated me and I cut them off because I STILL hadn't asked her. I dropped my textbook and just ignored it.

I invited her to Homecoming using the pick-up line. It was basically a cold approach. She politely said no with a smile. I read that you should persist if she keeps smiling, but she was firmer the second time. I took the rejection and brushed it off. I still talked to her a few times throughout high school; turned out I dodged a massive bullet for multiple reasons.

Also, she was a lesbian, which every classmate I asked for advice knew. Still, they thought I had balls and they agreed she was hot. So again, no approach anxiety or ridicule (my high school was VERY weird with social dynamics and bullying was rare). All I learned was that Pick-up Artistry was a thing and that gave me hope. Unfortunately, no Girls Chase yet.

I have always loved girls and would try to hang with them more than guys, though it was pretty balanced overall.
I've never been afraid to talk to anyone; I just couldn't do much beyond get friendzoned at best (though girls did find me cute and pretty cool).
 

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
614
My very first was a boring soft rejection. In kindergarten, I got a girl's home telephone number and address and made a grand gestures of bringing gifts. She friendzoned me. It didn't give me approach anxiety, but I pretty much stopped seeing her in first grade so I didn't learn anything.

My 1st real rejection was pretty amusing. I was in freshman year of high school and Homecoming was coming up. I had no clue what I was doing and I asked some classmates for help and came up with a pick-up line for a girl I hadn't spoken to. I also found some beginner PUA tips, including a video by Gambler recommending I lower her panties while dancing (I was smart enough to avoid that potential jail sentence, but to this day I refuse to consider Gambler's advice on anything). That was my intro to the men's dating industry: pickup lines from forums (most were sexual, which I refused to use).

My classmates kept asking who it was, but I didn't want to cause drama so I remained tight-lipped. Before class, I walked with her and talked to her. We got inside the class and the guys congratulated me and I cut them off because I STILL hadn't asked her. I dropped my textbook and just ignored it.

I invited her to Homecoming using the pick-up line. It was basically a cold approach. She politely said no with a smile. I read that you should persist if she keeps smiling, but she was firmer the second time. I took the rejection and brushed it off. I still talked to her a few times throughout high school; turned out I dodged a massive bullet for multiple reasons.

Also, she was a lesbian, which every classmate I asked for advice knew. Still, they thought I had balls and they agreed she was hot. So again, no approach anxiety or ridicule (my high school was VERY weird with social dynamics and bullying was rare). All I learned was that Pick-up Artistry was a thing and that gave me hope. Unfortunately, no Girls Chase yet.


I've never been afraid to talk to anyone; I just couldn't do much beyond get friendzoned at best (though girls did find me cute and pretty cool).
Thanks for sharing! Pretty interesting we had the drive to pursue girls even well before puberty. Not sure what the goal even was... maybe a peck on the lips at most. I don't remember being into tits until I was more like 11.
 

OldGuy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
83
My first attempt was the church youth group canoe trip. The senior pastor's daughter and I were the only ones with driver licenses, so I hoped to get some thing going, but my mother would not let me go (this was just after high school graduation, with other things she did I was 24 before I brought a woman home to meet my parents). The 1sr time a woman rejected me was the first one I asked for a date. I was terrified, but she politely turned me down, and seems to like me a little better afterward.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,029
Had a girl I rode the bus with every day when I was in first grade. She was a second grader.

One day I worked up the nerve to ask her to marry me. I suggested we could do our honeymoon in the Caribbean.

She told me, "No, I can't marry you! You're a FIRST GRADER!"

I felt so defeated.

For the next three months, every time I heard kids laughing in the cafeteria at lunch time, I thought they were laughing about how that girl rejected my marriage proposal.

(finally after three months I said to myself, "This is stupid. They're not laughing at you THREE MONTHS later! They probably didn't ever even find out about it!" and I quit worrying about it. Important life lesson in dealing with rejection)

Pretty interesting we had the drive to pursue girls even well before puberty. Not sure what the goal even was... maybe a peck on the lips at most. I don't remember being into tits until I was more like 11.

Kinda funny, huh?

Some boys are like, "Ew, girls! Gross! They have cooties!"

But some of us were like, "Oh yes: GIRLS!" right from the start.

As far as goals... I think it's just instinct. You know you want to pursue and secure a female. Even if you don't exactly understand for what.

By third grade I knew about sex, and knew you put your penis in the woman's vagina, and I was already getting erections (the body can get them at any time; it's not limited to after puberty), but I thought you just got a girl naked and laid on top of her motionless with your erect dick in her vagina.

I would have all these fantasies about it and imagine how good it surely felt then think, "I don't know why you would ever STOP doing this! I'd NEVER get off a beautiful girl!"

(fortunately, evolution has solved the "how to make the sex act finish" problem for us so we don't spend all day lying on top of girls ;))

Chase
 
Top