What went wrong here

[DarkKnight]

So I was at this restaurant minding my business and eating some food. Suddenly this babe (7) came inside with her girlfriend and I notice them sitting near and she is looking multiple times at me. They go outside to smoke and foolishly leave their phones on their tables. So when they come back I joke to her saying hey if I had a different predospisition you would have lost that phone. Meanwhile I get called by someone and walk outside in order to answer. I come back and sit at my seat, to continue eating.

So she looks back at me and says you are lucky I didnt grab your phone while you were gone. (Which is weird because I obviously had my phone with me when I walked outside). This I saw her as trying to reengage me, since I notice her staring more than once. So I quip with her and thank her for her "merciful" behaviour.

I deep dive a little, get back to my food, then her girlfriend left somewhere. The girl who talked with me is with her back turned to me and I call her "Girl, girl, hey phone girl" , she reluctantly turns and I ask her her name. So I get as a reply "why do you want to know my name". Im a little taken aback and reply with "I am not allowed to?" She shakes her head and turns around. Ofcourse at this point I am unfazed and look away smiling, happily returning into whatever I was doing on the phone. I get IOIs from tons of girls, not about to worry about a random 7. Also I know that probably her girlfriend is looking at how I am behaving before they left. So I do not show weakness.

I am not a great fan of mysteries, so if you guys know what's up I would like to know.

By the way: it seems she comes from the same city as I do and knows lots of people I do, in this social circle it can maybe raise ASD. Seems like a stretch but maybe it is relevant.

Thoughts?

Next time if girl ask "why do you want to know my name my autopilot will be "well why not?" putting the onus on her.

 

[zappbrannigan]

The girl who talked with me is with her back turned to me and I call her "Girl, girl, hey phone girl" , she reluctantly turns and I ask her her name. So I get as a reply "why do you want to know my name". Im a little taken aback and reply with "I am not allowed to?"

Quick guess: Your answer probably came across like validation-seeking behaviour (you're asking her for permission). This question may have been a shit test you failed. Or perhaps it's something you did earlier that she didn't like.

She shakes her head and turns around.

Yeah, she completely gave up on you at that point.

Next time if girl ask "why do you want to know my name" my autopilot will be "well why not?" putting the onus on her.

I kind of like that, but it's still putting her into a frame where she's coming up with reasons why she doesn't want you to do something.

It might be better to be direct and say "because I think you're cute" (takes a lot of balls of course, but should be totally disarming if said in the right way). If she's being too bitchy you may want to try something like "with that attitude you'll never get a boyfriend" (setting a chase frame) or a lighter version "with that attitude you'll never make friends". Say it with a smile. But it may just bring up her bitch shields even more.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yo Zapp,

Balls are not the problem, I like your autopilot responses. Because I knew mine were wrong and your right "why not" makes her think about why it is not a good idea.

I have given the subject some thought and my overall frame was super strong, her question caught me offguard but with all the signs of attraction she gave together with proximity and re-engaging me I highly doubt that one little slip up caused all this. My gut says there is some anti slut defense involved. It was just too sudden and too weird.

Definitely got to work on the autopilot but I have a strong feeling this would not have saved the case. Strong attraction doesnt die this fast! I know because I am approaching left and right at the moment. This was an anomaly.

Regardless I have had some succes in the evening. I do not like deliberating too much otherwise I get stuck when I can get more/hotter girls.

Thanks for the input buddy

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

DarkKnight dude! Zapp hit some good points and basically she screened and qualified an ya didn't hit the targets. ASD will make these targets smaller and if ya didn't get approval from her friend the bitch shields are higher. There's lots of little trip ups here that ruined ya seduction.

Personally a would have changed the playing field when she reengaged an pointed out the flaw in her plan. I also would playfully paint her as being a criminal mastermind/ worst thief ever an joke that she didn't look trustworthy so ya wouldn't leave ya phone. This just gives ya playful options an paints her as being a bad influence, they're usually not used to this frame an try to qualify themselves.

This didn't stop ya from progressing so changing the playing field not that important. When ya deep dived ya didn't get her name or introduced yourself? This would have made it a warmer engagement after her friend disappeared. Ya no longer strangers an this reduces ASD.

Ya auto response was dreadful but a have fucked up worse with auto responses to things that caught me off guard. Shit happens! The direct approach answer is much better an failing that if ya went the playful route earlier ya have options to go back to this for this set up ya can say ya won't tell the police, ya can't be an alibi without it, cause ya can't be partners in crime otherwise. Something lighthearted but avoiding a real answer is rather cool an disarming.

What's with that attitude? I thought we were friends... it calls her out on her avaisivness, shows that ya not bothered and a cool fun guy. Ya need to deliver it with the right playful tone to make this work dude!

 

[naturalmikey]

I like callback humor. That is what she did to you. Her example didn't make sense and doesn't have to because girls don't make logical sense.

"why do you want to know my name"
"for the police report if you steal my phone"

don't fall into her frame. be light and fun.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah man, cool responses but I don't think it would have saved the interaction in hindsight. Regardless it's good to implement those even if it just increases survival rate by 5 percent. Not specifically for her but generically speaking.

 

[drexciyan]

My auto-response for that is "Beautiful name! Who named you?" or "That's a lot of syllables for a name, but I dig it."

Regardless, it's not a great idea to ask for a name. It sets the frame of you being the chaser imo. You'll get her name when you exchange contact info.

 

[jakesykes949]

I don't think you did anything wrong, aside from the initial joke about her phone, which seems kind of weird.

Her friend was probably shit testing you, and those girls were definitely talking about you outside.

Who knows, man. Girls are fickle and weird sometimes. Just hit her up again in a few days and re-engage.