What's the right way to ask a girl if she has an STD?

[Anonymous]

Hi Chase,

You've got some great stuff on here, but I haven't yet found an answer to this one -- what's a savy way to make sure a girl is STD-free? There are so many cute girls out there, that it doesn't make sense to go for one with an STD, but what's the right way to ask this question without ruining the moment and giving her a new reason to put up last-minute resistance?

Thanks man,
Mike

 

[Jay]

Mike,

Don't ask, wear a condom.

Jay

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Mike,

You've got some great stuff on here, but I haven't yet found an answer to this one -- what's a savy way to make sure a girl is STD-free? There are so many cute girls out there, that it doesn't make sense to go for one with an STD, but what's the right way to ask this question without ruining the moment and giving her a new reason to put up last-minute resistance?

The best way to ask her if she got STD, is to not ask her during the sex act at all. IT totally turns off the mood. Here's what i suggest, Casually mention the topic of women sleeping without protecting herself, and mention health related issues like STD to her and see what's her reaction, when you are deep diving. The key here is making this casual. You would not want to start being judgemental when you gauge her reaction by then opening her up about the matter.

But what Jay mention here, holds true. In short, Wear a Condom. Always wear protection, keep yourself protected first.

Zac

 

[Anonymous]

Mike,

Don't ask, wear a condom.

Jay

Thanks man. I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. But while a condom will substantially reduce the chances of transmission, there's always a small risk. So what I don't understand is what other strategies someone like Chase uses to make sure he doesn't come down with an STD. Because if you sleep with enough girls, probability says you're bound to encounter this at some point.

 

[Ross]

Mike,

Don't ask, wear a condom.

Jay

Thanks man. I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. But while a condom will substantially reduce the chances of transmission, there's always a small risk. So what I don't understand is what other strategies someone like Chase uses to make sure he doesn't come down with an STD. Because if you sleep with enough girls, probability says you're bound to encounter this at some point.

Yeah, and chances are you've already slept with multiple people with STD's.

I honestly don't think STDs are a big deal. Sure, a lot of viral infections can be deadly and dramatically reduce your lifespan, but a simple condom prevents getting those. Herpes is mostly an inconvenience, and is very easily avoided if you use protection and make sure that your partner isn't having a break-out or anything, which they'll probably already know anyways. I'm much more afraid of getting a girl pregnant than getting any STD's.

If it means that much to you, the best way to ask is to try and frame it in there. Being non-judgmental is key, because if they sense any judgment from you they will lie about it. Instead of abruptly throwing in the question, bring it up along lines of natural conversation or indirectly cause her to say something about STD's. If this is a one-night stand, you're probably not going to be able to do that without really killing the mood, but if girlfriends and long term relationships are your deal it is in your best interest to find out when she was last tested. Usually asking when they were last tested will cause them to tell you that they are clean, and some will even ask you.

Everyone seems to be deathly afraid of STD's, at least in the conservative town where I am from. Try and become educated on them, and figure out which informational articles want to educate you rather than using scare techniques, which is what the majority of information will be. A lot of people indirectly impose this on others to try and confirm their beliefs.

 

[aliparpar]

Most of the time when a girl has an STD, you won't be sure since they don't have any symptoms. Sometimes you can spot when a girl has a STD when you look at her Vagina during/before sex but who does that so the best chance is to wear condoms. I don't recommend this bit but if you want you can search different STDs on google and look at the pictures of the Vaginas with STDs to find out how they look like. Most of the STDs can be cured if you go to doctor on time. The only STD that doesn't have any cure yet is AIDS(HIV) so be careful who you sleep with and always wear a condom no matter how good it feels inside her without a condom.

 

[Rationalis]

Aliparpar is correct. Probably one of the rarest STDs you'll come across is syphilis. That one cannot be treated. Yeah, always just wear a condom. One of my friends went to Australia and hooked up with a girl we both knew. She gave him gonorrhea and he had to get a needle stuck in his urethra so they could flush it out. Not good. Anyone who doesn't wear a condom and lives this kind of lifestyle is just asking for it.

Be safe, fellas.

 

[Tramp]

This thread is old, but I thought I´d add my opinion.


ZacAdam and everyone has a much more delicate way of asking her, which is probably better than my way.

However, I´m just too lazy to worry about framing the matter so I take the short and blunt route.
I always ask before sex if she has any STDs, no strategy or verbal framing, and then she answers, and I reaffrim she´s ok and that I was asking for her benefit.
I´ve never had a problem, and most girls seem to appreciate me asking.



It usually goes like this (and I´ve done this twice recently):


when sex is pretty much confirmed to happen
Tramp: Hey I just wanted to ask. Do you have any STDs?
Her: Oh no, no I don´t, I´m clean
Tramp: Ok. I don´t either, I just wanted to make sure you knew that so nobody gets hurt later on. [add some sort of sexy - yet mischevious comment after this, preferably putting the attention back on her body so you can transition to getting physical again.]

Take the mood back down to sultry and you´re good to go. However, asking doesn´t gurantee you´re ok since girls will lie about their STDs.

 

[JDB_40k]

Aliparpar is correct. Probably one of the rarest STDs you'll come across is syphilis. That one cannot be treated. Yeah, always just wear a condom. One of my friends went to Australia and hooked up with a girl we both knew. She gave him gonorrhea and he had to get a needle stuck in his urethra so they could flush it out. Not good. Anyone who doesn't wear a condom and lives this kind of lifestyle is just asking for it.

Be safe, fellas.

Actually, don't want any misinformation to be spread. Syphilis can be treated and cured if detected early enough. In stage 1 it can be resolved with antibiotics and penicillin. It's once it get to the advanced stages that is becomes a problem.