What's your process for resistance at transitions?

[Skid]

Hey guys ,

What does your process look like for handling different levels of resistance? Lets say sit next to a girl and chat to her for a bit she smiles at the compliment and she starts investing in the conversation - but she isn't sending any of those "I'm sold on you" vibes. So you say I'm about to get ice cream you should come. She says shes not hungry. In my experience its always a lost cause , what I've tried :

Persist playfully : "You look like you've got a big sweet tooth you'd be doing it a disservice"

Start moving and say lets go without reacting I end up just walking off without her looking like an idiot as she says "nice meeting you" or nothing

Dropping it and waiting : I'll say ok cut the conversation thread and then move onto something else then a couple minutes later I'll bring it up again "lets go get that ice cream"

Persisting in a lame fashion without any game or wit "You sure? "

I've come to the conclusion that these girls are simply not down.

 

[windsofchange]

Hey there Skid,

These are the possible problem spots you may have:

1) Not enough rapport / comfort built. As you say, she's investing in the conversation but not 'sold on you'; perhaps you aren't doing a good enough job getting to her, and staying on small talk.
2) Compliance test. You ask her to move with you. But have you tried to get her to do small acts of compliance first? Like say, show you her hands, jewerly (if she's wearing any), etc. Starting with small requests to test her compliancy levels before moving together.
3) Seemingly Random Date Ask. Did she mention liking ice cream before you asked her to go with you? Are you finding something she says in the conversation that would merit a reason to move somewhere? Or there being a situational reason (ie too loud, too quiet, etc).
4) Beating a dead horse. Also when she turns out the ice cream, you ask her later for the same event she turned down the first time. Perhaps she turns it down; you invest less, but and keep her investing more. And then you find some other reason to move with her (maybe go for a walk instead? maybe coffee instead of ice cream?)
5) Improper persistence. You ask her to come with you for ice cream, she says she's not hungry. Maybe you say, that's okay, we'll go on a Hobbit adventure together and see some elves while i get some. Or something not as geeky haha.

Hope this helps.

 

[Skid]

Hey Winds ,

I hadn't really thought that the issue had been what I'm doing before the transition - this could definitely be the the problem. Thanks!