Calls & Texts "Whats your weekend like?" Not good?

[Jeet02]

I have seen Chase suggest that this would be a good approach to then ask a girl out. Somewhere else I read that this should NEVER be asked because it gives them an opportunity to be flaky about it. To come up with some excuse.

Thoughts? Should we avoid to ask her how her (future days) look and just ask them out and if they say no then ask when they are free or something like that?

Discuss!

 

[Franco]

Hi Jeet02,

I have always been under the impression that it is best to ask a girl when she is free so that she can give you her schedule. This essentially makes her less likely to flake because she is informing you of which days she considers to be good times for a date. If a girl that has your number is truly interested in getting together with you, she will honestly give you the schedule which works best for her. By suggesting a specific time or day, you are severely limiting her options and possibly forcing her to say "no" or "flake," even if she might have been interested in getting together with you!

So the short answer is: suggest to a girl that you would like to get together and ask her what her entire week looks like. This will almost always produce better responses than asking her what a single day or her weekend (which she likely already has plans for) looks like. Then once she gives you her schedule, you can decide which of those days is actually best for you.

- Franco

 

[Jeet02]

Hey Franco,

I see what you are saying. Definitely have some good points and I agree. Truth is though, if she is really interested in meeting up with you, she would still answer something like "Oh I can't tonight, but what about tomorrow?" or something like that. Or not? You think if she is interested and you give her a specific time that she is not available she will not suggest another time herself? That would obviously be the biggest IOI, in my opinion.

Apart from that though, lets say she is in the fence..."do I want to go out with him, or not?" Do you think saying something like "lets go out tonight and get some drinks" isn't a little bit more "leading/confident" than if asking "whats your week like?" Maybe she might see your determinism as a good quality? As someone that knows what he wants? Or do you think it will come off as too pushy or something? Cause lets say she says she really cant that night, if she was in the fence of it and she liked that you took initiative then she might suggest another time or as a last restort you can always ask what time is then best for her. And you go from there.

Or would you say it is still better to simply ask her what her week looks like?

Cheers!
-Jeet

 

[Franco]

Hey Jeet02,

Yes, this is true that a girl who is very interested will sometimes take the initiative to select a later date if you have chosen one that legitimately does not work for her. However, all you are doing by picking a specific date and time is restricting the subset of girls who are on the edge about you and not willing to suggest a later date -- sometimes out of fear of coming across as "too needy."

There are a couple of other issues with selecting a date and time as well, especially if it is that night or the next night that you are suggesting. A well-socialized girl that gets a text saying something along the lines of, "hey, let's get together tonight!" will immediately wonder how many other girls you've sent that text to that night. Is this just a booty call? Are you just bored? Why are you so eager to hang out tonight? Keep in mind that there is nothing leading or powerful about a text message. It doesn't take much "manliness" to send a text message to a girl, so instead of trying to lead her in texting, you should be just focusing on trying to get her out so you can lead her in person.

Telling a girl that you want to know her schedule implicitly lets her know that you are legitimately interested in getting together with her because you want to know when she is free, even if it is later in the week.

Another issue with asking a girl to come over at a specific time is that she might feel like she just won't be ready yet. Sometimes this can be as simple as her wanting to get her nails or her hair done... or even "shaving" certain parts of her body. Girls do a lot to get ready for a promising date!

Once you've slept with a girl already, most of these rules go out the window. But if you are going for a first date, it's best to give her every opportunity you can to see you.

This is my two cents.

- Franco

 

[Jeet02]

Hey Franco,

I guess you are right. You have definitely proven your point haha. I think I definitely agree with you there. Girls do take a lot of time to get ready haha.

So what you are saying is, then, if you are going to ask her out, always ask her when she is free and THEN suggest something? Cause where I read this "dont ever ask her what her week is like" thing, they also say that you should ask her out the same day you want to ask her out. But you do point a lot of good points as to why you shouldn't do this. Makes me want to talk to the guys that talk about this (see my post on Keylock Sequence) and see why they think it is better this way from their point of view.

Thanks!
-Jeet

 

[Addicted2height]

This is where i got confused with "move fast" clearly doesn't apply in text game?

 

[Franco]

Hi Addicted2height,

"Move fast" certainly applies to texting, but probably not in the way you think it does. Women (that are attractive especially) have busy schedules and tons of options for what they can or should be doing for any given week, including going out with other guys. Your job is to make sure you actually GET a date with her rather than constantly hound her (or "chase" her) to see if she's free on a specific day or weekend.

What might help give some clarity is understanding the difference between chasing and persistence.

Hope this helps clear things up a bit.

- Franco

 

[Knight]

To sound dominant/leading in text, tell her what you and her are going to do and ask for her schedule.

Telling girls what to do = Dominant
Getting her schedule so you both can do it = Leading

ALL my texts go like this (this is a real conversation from my phone)

Me: Victoria, hey! What's your schedule like this week? Let's grab a coffee before the weekend.

Her: I have finals on Monday until 10 am. And I'm busy Tuesday and Thursday. But other than that, I'm free until about 3:30 everyday!

Me: Cool, so let's do Monday. Say 4:00? We'll grab our coffee at (insert cafe). Sound good?

Her: I love (name of cafe)! I live their it's super close.

Me: Awesome, see you then Victoria!



Don't worry about appearing dominant, cool, or anything via text. Only worry about being DIRECT.

More and more I like your advice, Fox.