Whatsapp thoughts

[Little Jester]

When starting out most of us do this "Hey, can I have your number?" thing.
And sometimes this is a bit tricky when girls have had weird stalker friends on their phones, or whatever.

Then we learn it is more powerful to say "Hey, give me your number".
This works especially if you've already agreed to set up a date.

When texting through other means, II now learned to give a girl a choice... 2 options. Both in our favor:
"Hey, give me your number, or send me an app. My number is <insert number>"
app is refering to whatsapp btw. Don't know how that goes in other countries.

Instead of a yes/no, or a "why?", the girl almost always ends up doing the work of putting your phone number in her phone and sending you a "hi this is girl blabla" text, without any questions.
As always, there are exceptions of course. But this's what is going great for me so far. And seems logical why it works. And from there it kinda feels like she is doing the chasing on whatsapp, as she's always initializing conversation there etc.

Now a friend of my is a great whatsapper in my opinion. He makes it a sport to only reply to girls with 5 or less words (and using pauses doing other stuff, so these whatsapp girls can write their stories). He is sort of deep diving them trough texting, starting with words like "How?" "Why?", "What happends next?" and these girls keep sending him large texts with all their life stories, emotions and whatever. And whenever they ask him something, he is short and firm and throws it back finishing with "and you?" or doesn't even ask a question at all and let her come up with the next topic she wants to go on about. He only sends a longer message if the girl is hitting on something important, or if he wants to explain something she doesn't understand. That's it.

It's an art I'm trying to learn now too, cause reading those stories can be loads of fun if you are into her. I used to use texting only for setting up dates or re-arranging them. And in between I'd sometimes do a little teasing. However, my old style is usually with a slightly more words. With some girls who are locked on their phones over longer periods, this 5 or less words thing is a great way to get them to open up to you with low effort and not even being on the date (that you of course already planned earlier).

I do realise there are girls who aren't locked to their phones for longer periods. They're easy to spot and then it's still 'set up a date and no nonsense' of course. But when you have a whatsapp girl, you might be able to use this to your advantage I believe.

What's your experience?

 

[Light]

Hi Little Jester,

You are right about this kind of approach being an art, because it is.
This applies not only to Whatsapp, but in any social media interaction such as Facebook, WeChat, Texting etc.

Its really advance stuff, that I would only recommend doing if you are already good at the game. You need to be a good conversationlist.
If you want to learn this stuff simply for learning, and for the enjoyment of having a regular text buddy, then it is a good thing to do.

If you was really interested in the girl however, and you're not yet at a high intermediate / advance level, then I would recommend you stick to the fundamentals, and physically getting them out on dates.

 

[Aspirant]

I agree with Light on this one. Before finding this site and PU i was a skilled social media flirter and i played a lot of mmorpgs but now i barely use that stuff with women because it's too hard to portray nonverbals and create emotional connections. One time i got phone sex from a married woman that i played world of warcraft with however when you play with someone on that game it was easy to build a connection her because i opened her randomly and flirted with her over text and played 2v2 arena battles with her which our playstyles clicked and we won often and i was the more skilled player even though she had better gear so it allowed me to blah blah blah.

I try to use Chase's outlook on texting and to only use it to set up meets but there' exceptions to every rule so if you feel like whatsapp is an actual tool to progressing and getting results from women and not just a way to play it safe go for it!
- Jake

 

[diegoC]

I honestly think people get to much info (I have read every post here and from other PUAs). It's good but I have to say many of the things guys take like a rule of thumb are not even that important when you make an impact on a girl.

Attraction + Connection is what all is about. If you are able to do this I don't think a girl would even think to analyze your wording when you ask for her number.

The mistake people make is that they think that if they ask for the number in a dominant way ("Give me your number") is more effective. No is not if you didn't make an impact. What makes an effective number close is the interaction. If you make an impact on her she will want to see you. If you don't, even if you ask for her number in the most dominant way you won't see her (most certainly).

Of course, if you make an impact on her it's kinda of lame to ask for her number by saying "Would you like to give me your number so we can hang out other time?". It's plain stupid. Doesn't make sense to do it this way if you are a confident guy who demonstrates with your verbal and non-verbal communication.

Cheers!

 

[Aspirant]

I honestly think people get to much info (I have read every post here and from other PUAs). It's good but I have to say many of the things guys take like a rule of thumb are not even that important when you make an impact on a girl.

Attraction + Connection is what all is about. If you are able to do this I don't think a girl would even think to analyze your wording when you ask for her number.

I whole-heartedly agree Diego.

 

[Little Jester]

Hey guys,

Kind of a different discussion Diego is pointing out (in regards to whatsapp), but I see what you are getting at. It does depend were you are coming from though and the last sentence points that out too.

You basically say that you have to get your fundamentals right and phone numbers will come after, without having to over analyse words you are using.
But coming from the perspective most of the fundamentals are ok and now trying to learn / understand how to word stuff a little different - to build more of an impact. Then I believe it is healthy to analyse and learn what works and what doesn't work for you.

Taking stuff from GC as a rule of thumb is probably not a good idea. Better to take the stuff as a guide and then work out what works. Build your own reference points. Playing with Whatsapp now, is exactly what I'm doing against some of Chase's advise (and I also keep a post by Franco on the subject in mind too; 'bad texter' just came to mind). It's all just to see what I personally can and can't do here and transform my default behavior to get better results.

Maybe I shouldn't have used 'we' so much in the OP, to over analyse myself again

 

[diegoC]

You basically say that you have to get your fundamentals right and phone numbers will come after, without having to over analyse words you are using.

No. Fundamentals are one thing. Attraction + Connection is other.
Fundamentals impact on Attraction, not Connection.
You can have some bad fundamentals, I honestly think so, and still get attraction from a girl.

If you are not dressed in a very fashion way, not a great haircut, a little slouch, and you open a girl in the street with a magnetic vibe (confident) and say you really like her and wanted to say hello this, usually, starts attraction on her part. Simple as that.

That's why I think you don't have to have the best fundamentals to build attraction, but, of course, it helps.

Fundamentals will not make solid number close. No. I can get phone numbers in 3 minutes in daygame for sure, I know I can do it (I don't even think of myself good at picking up women yet, not way), but it's because I know I can get attraction from girls easily (I'm a good looking guy, I have my fundamentals pretty well handled) .

I started doing this number closes based on attraction because I know I could do it and I was not good at keeping up conversation (still working really hard on this. Is my sticking point for sure. When I get good at this, oh my… jajaja). So, I thought, if I can get attraction from girls from the outset of the opening (and I'm not good at keeping up a conversation) I should end it as quickly as possible.

Is this good? It's not. Girls are just giving me their numbers based on attraction.

Honestly, I have got so many numbers in this way (all attractive girls), and with girls that have actually responded (whatsapp) I have never been out with them (of course, I don't chase a bit. Sometime I just write once and eventually if they don't answer to a question I ended it).

Fundamentals is not the answer to solid closes. Like I said is Attraction (fundamentals help on this) + Connection. It is when a connection has been formed between you two that she will want to see you. I have to get better and this, like I said, is the most important part so you solidify the impact on her.

But coming from the perspective most of the fundamentals are ok and now trying to learn / understand how to word stuff a little different - to build more of an impact. Then I believe it is healthy to analyse and learn what works and what doesn't work for you.

Yes, there are many things you can learn. For example, I think some of the best things you need to know when interacting with a girl are this:

• Tease her, be playfull at the start of the interaction: This is just to make it refreshing, different. Is just talking about whatever thing and making it fun. This is the best way to get to the point where she wants to keep with you in the conversation (hook point)

• Connection: You need to have a conversation of whatever that really makes a connection (her dream job, whatever) to solidify a close.

• Challenge: Whenever you disagree with something she says, say it. In a relax manner. Don't ever try to argue with something she might have an emotional connection to ("I'm really a person that loves to be free, feel independant, feel like I can be myself and be so happy"... "No, you are not at all" - This is no good). After you do this you should try to win the challenge. Make her accept your point of view ("Yeah, maybe you are right about that"). Girls like to be win over by outsmart them. I don't know why. I guess is some evolution thing of girls wanting a man stronger than them, smarter, that they admire.

• Push-Pull: I think it's important if you feel you haven't build enough attraction. A little push-pull is always fine.

• Make the interaction beat at your own rhythm: This is important. If you are talking and she ask "What's your name" you don't answer. Finish your statement, after that, you answer. The interaction must be controlled by you

• Break rapport: If you are in a real connection you can break it, it's good. Just get back to the surface and move to other thing. Especially if you are getting bored by her.

• Show her she can lose you: This is best done when you are getting bored by her. When you get good at conversations skill this will get easier because she will be talkin a lot more about something you stumble upon. So if you are really getting bored start doing what girls do to us: Drift your attention (breaking eye contact), don't give more feedback, no positive validation, answering with words like "Nice", "Cool", is good. They show no interest. It's the natural thing to do! I'm sure you have done it when you were bored by someone.

So many things that make good interactions with girls are things you already are good at. We all are! It's the things we naturally do with our friends. We just have to apply them on girls. Yes, it's harder because you don't know each other. That's were the real magic comes. It's when you are able to hook girls in your interactions, have really good conversations with them that you will start to improve a lot more. I really think being able to have good conversations with girls is the most important thing every guy needs to master so the rest of the stuff can actually work in your favor (kino, sexual innuendo, etc). If you are the best man in kino but she can't have a conversation with you (no connection whatsoever) it's doomed.

Taking stuff from GC as a rule of thumb is probably not a good idea.

Perfect.

If you see some of my first post, I had one where I actually ask something like pre-opening with the back of the hand. I was wondering if it feels colder because it's the feeling of the back of the hand. If you kino you use your palm (warmer). Now that I see it, I think is just stupid. If you pre-open is just for her to look at you first. Now, where I am in this moment regarding getting good with girls, I have to say, I don't always use pre-opening.

The idea of pre-opening is to make girls look at you first because this way, they are chasing you. To me, there is some truth there but essentially seeing pre-opening in this way is wrong.

The part I think it's completely accurate in that concept is that girls that make eye contact with you first are chasing you. So damn true. Now, there is an advice (I think Chase posted it) that you shouldn't steal glances. Of course, because a girl wants to see if you are looking at them but is no good to turn your head so fast so you catch her. She is still chasing, of course, but, the bad thing for you is that you caught her and she won't like that. The way to make eye contact with her is in a way that she sees it coming. This is eye contact flirting for me. Is moving slowly to make eye contact with her, let her know your eyes are coming (peripherals vision, you need it) to give her the opportunity to look away. Eventually, you will get to a moment when you will see that when you are about to make eye contact (peripherals again! it's your best friend) she won't move them. This is the best way of doing it. She decided she wanted you to see her looking at you (you didn't steal the glance). Surely, she will look away. You can open now.

Now, when you pre-open her, letting her look at your eyes first before you make eye contact is no good to me. It's weird (I'm gonna make a post after this about that). You open her and you are looking slightly away, and when you see (with peripherals) that she looks at your eyes you look at her? I don't like that. For me, pre-opening, it's just a good way to get her attention if I approach her and she doesn't notice me (this could be a touch in her arms, a verbal "hey…" to catch her attention)

As you said, read whatever you want but don't think everything is a matter of fact. See what works for you, what you like, what you don't. This forum is great, especially, if you have a critical and inquisitive mind.

Cheers!

 

[Little Jester]

Agreed on all that. For the record though, everyone is coming in with different problems, sticking points and areas that they like to work on. Sounds like you found what you like to work on. Myself, I don't have much trouble building a connection face to face. Most of my contacts lead to at least a date or 2. By then things get a little random for me (my sticking point). Inserting dominance here and there is a key thing for myself, cause I can be a little too nice at times (and loose attraction because girls get bored with me)

So learning about how you say stuff face to face a little differently, or how you do so through texting (with a whatsapp girl), can all be very powerful for building more and keeping that build up interest. It's about improving results. A little dominance is one thing for some (me). Another is talking about 'we' and 'us' instead of 'her' can be very powerful both face to face and in whatsapp, after already having a connection of course. Stuff like that.