When an old FB probably has serious BF?

[Hue]

Wassup guys.

What might you do when a girl you used to hook up with is probably in a relationship, but just agreed to go on a date with you?

Does one just proceed as they would, hoping for the best that she's now single/DTF?


I'm in this situation right now. She texted me to hang out, and soon we're getting food + drinks somewhere, and I hoped to start the date at my house and at least kiss her before the date starts. A few months ago she was still dating the same guy as last summer, I can't gather any info from social media.

I'm just concerned that if she is seriously dating and I try this, it will make things pretty damn awkward if we were to proceed with the date.
If I am friendzoned, I don't want to fuck the friendship up (something a lot of girls have to consider from time to time).

Insight appreciated.

Hueman

 

[Grand Pooba]

Wassup guys.

What might you do when a girl you used to hook up with is probably in a relationship, but just agreed to go on a date with you?

Does one just proceed as they would, hoping for the best that she's now single/DTF?


I'm in this situation right now. She texted me to hang out, and soon we're getting food + drinks somewhere, and I hoped to start the date at my house and at least kiss her before the date starts. A few months ago she was still dating the same guy as last summer, I can't gather any info from social media.

I'm just concerned that if she is seriously dating and I try this, it will make things pretty damn awkward if we were to proceed with the date.
If I am friendzoned, I don't want to fuck the friendship up (something a lot of girls have to consider from time to time).

Insight appreciated.

Hueman

In my experience this is usually her "coming back around" to you as the lover after she's just broken up with the more serious guy, or for whatever reason isn't feeling satisfied with him and maybe she's exploring her options. Regardless of her intentions, you should go in with zero expectations and just be chill and fun. Don't push for sex, let her be the aggressor and give you the windows to move to the next level. If she doesn't, no big deal. Just be cool and fun and breezy, show her a fun time. Look for windows and openings to lead her (i.e. flirtatious ness, or she's unusually quiet, or she seems to be going along with you, for example) - if she's following your lead good chance she wants to go home with you. That's my take.

 

[Hue]

Grand Pooba,

Word. Thanks for the feedback.

Hypothetically, let's say you go on a date with a girl, and it becomes clear that she's still dating someone / isn't "coming back around".

Do you think going through with the could date push you closer to being perceived as an orbiter?
Obviously it depends on the girl / how down your sexual frame is, but that's something I was considering.. kind of a narrow line to follow.

Hueman

 

[Grand Pooba]

Grand Pooba,

Word. Thanks for the feedback.

Hypothetically, let's say you go on a date with a girl, and it becomes clear that she's still dating someone / isn't "coming back around".

Do you think going through with the could date push you closer to being perceived as an orbiter?
Obviously it depends on the girl / how down your sexual frame is, but that's something I was considering.. kind of a narrow line to follow.

Hueman

It depends. This gets into tricky territory and really depends on your frame going into it, and also on if she still sees you as a masculine Alpha stud "sex object," or if she sees you as a platonic friend. You sort of mentioned this.

Personally in a situation like this I go in not expecting anything to happen, but still make very sexual moves and see how she reacts. But, you also have to be OK with it being platonic if that's what it is - if you're an in demand guy, are already dating or fucking other girls, it's a lot easier because you still care about her and hanging out her but don't really care about the sex. Getting back with her feels more "nice to have" rather than "i must be with her" or "i want to fuck her again," the latter two being more needy than non needy.

At the same time, you still want to set up the date in a manner that might lead to sex. And you still need to be able to feel out the escalation and have that killer instinct to act.

For instance:

When you first see her, does she kiss you? On the lips or on the cheek? If you go for the kiss, does she reciprocate or deflect?

Where is she meeting you and when? Can you have the date very near your house at a time where neither of you has later obligations? That way if its ON, you can just walk over to your place and shag.

Does she tell you about her boyfriend, or ex? What does she say about them?

Pay attention to her vibe. Is it flirtatious or friendly or horny (annoyed or quiet)?

Here's a related post:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=14547

Just today, I met one of my exes from 2016 for lunch. She happened to be in the area I work in and texted me, and i was free, so we met up. I don't have much of a desire to get with her again, because I've slept with nearly ten new women since we stopped seeing each other three months ago and am dating some of them, and she's also dating two guys at the moment which we talked about during lunch. She was sharing frustrating date stories with me, which gave me a chuckle. However, the moment she saw me right before we got lunch, she went for a lip kiss, and when we said goodbye, she also went for a lip kiss. She also wants to hang out this weekend. I suspect that if I want it, I can have it if i set it up to make it happen (good logistics key).

Make sense?

 

[Hue]

When you first see her, does she kiss you? On the lips or on the cheek? If you go for the kiss, does she reciprocate or deflect?

Where is she meeting you and when? Can you have the date very near your house at a time where neither of you has later obligations? That way if its ON, you can just walk over to your place and shag.

Does she tell you about her boyfriend, or ex? What does she say about them?

Pay attention to her vibe. Is it flirtatious or friendly or horny (annoyed or quiet)?

Yeah, makes sense.

The place I have set up with this girl in particular is close to my house, I know nothing about her potential boyfriend except that she's had one in the past year. She's a sexual person, so it shouldn't be that hard to read her vibe/windows before escalating.

Thanks for laying out some of the factors in an understandable way, Grand Pooba, I appreciate it.

Hueman