When Do You Tool?

[Smurf]

I know on the site Chase talks a lot about how to avoid tooling and how to deal with it when it's sent your way. But is it sometimes necessary to tool others? Or is it better to not at all and just remain seemingly high status by not tooling?

Jake.

 

[readjusting]

Jake,
Generally when I went out and picked up girls, I hoped someone will tool me, because most of the time I countered it, her attraction increased. So I always considered others tooling me as an opportunity rather than a bad thing.
I would recommend you learn how to counter tooling, then picking up girls in a crowded places like library for example.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Jake D,

Depends. Sometimes you just notice it later on.

Guy friends often tool you due to hierarchy or normal fun

where they find something highly annoying about you or irritating in a funny way about you but they don't know. So it depends on how they joke. their sense of humour or how they insult and their beliefs.

Aside from friends, When it comes to social circle and work, you need to becareful here.

Things catch fire fast but there are ways to handle this. So I need to know what case exactly.

Zac

 

[Average]

I always thought it was a matter of congruency. If a person was usually an asshole all the time then tooling people wouldn't really seem out of character.

If you were generally a kind guy then you'd seem weak if you tooled somebody who tooled you right back and he won, you'd seem strong if you tool somebody who tried to tool you and you won, and you'd seem strongest if you just brushed off tooling attempts (because of the law of least effort).

IMO, brushing the offender off is the most powerful thing you can do, but tooling done witfully can be powerful in its own right as well.

NB: Tooling should NEVER be used to attack. Only to defend. Attacking only makes you look weak (again....unless you've got the asshole personality)

 

[Smurf]

Thanks for the input, guys.

Curiosity, I see this a lot in my immediate social circle. There's a friend of mine, he means well but isn't socially calibrated. He'll say something trying to tool one of us and we just clap back and double speed to counter. It ends up backfiring on him 99% of the time. I definitely see how this works out.

Zac and Ash, so are you saying that being of an "asshole" personality type, they have the leeway to tool others and still remain relatively high status?

Slay, I appreciate that, if I'm ever tooling someone it's in an over-the-top, obvious way.

What I want to clarify in this post is tooling in a more subtle way, like constantly asking for compliance, feigning confusion, things like that.

I usually only do it in reaction to someone else tooling me, although I see it getting used on friends of mine. That same friend of mine earlier in this post, one of my natural friends pretty consistently asks him for compliance, sometimes where it isn't necessary. Is this tooling still?

I've always had a mental model of, "I'll just do it myself", so it's really hard for me to get used to asking compliance from people, especially when it has nothing to do with seduction and is more just social dick-swinging.

 

[Smurf]

Thanks Slay, I was definitely getting caught up into fake alpha and AMOGing others. I'll definitely work on that from now on. Think my strategy now will to try and be more genuine, rather than the default dick behavior I have now.

Jake.

 

[Average]

What I want to clarify in this post is tooling in a more subtle way, like constantly asking for compliance, feigning confusion, things like that.

That's definitely tooling.

Don't do that though. Build people up, not bring them down. If these friends respect you, then start checking them when they tool each other. And if they try and tool you:

"Hey man get me a cup of water"
"Maybe later, so like I was saying..."

Curiosity, I see this a lot in my immediate social circle. There's a friend of mine, he means well but isn't socially calibrated. He'll say something trying to tool one of us and we just clap back and double speed to counter. It ends up backfiring on him 99% of the time. I definitely see how this works out.

Teach him. Tell him sincerely what he is doing and teach him to provide value... And chill.

Zac and Ash, so are you saying that being of an "asshole" personality type, they have the leeway to tool others and still remain relatively high status?

Depends on the personality. It would be incongruent for a loud mouthed asshole to tool someone in a smart way and vice versa.

High status?... No. Someone who brings people down will never be higher value than someone who lifts others up.


What you're doing right now is getting sucked into cognitive dissonance. Take your time to read this:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/5-way ... situations - This will help you on how to react to any kind of social challenge.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/archi ... ial-ladder - This will help you understand how the highest valuable people socialize

Slay

*Round of applause*

I couldn't have said it better myself. The only thing I'd like to add is to answer this here:

Zac and Ash, so are you saying that being of an "asshole" personality type, they have the leeway to tool others and still remain relatively high status?

I see tooling as a status changer. If you tool others then your status will automatically be lowered. The only exception is the asshole because he tools people ALL THE TIME. So people who stick around obviously expect him to tool and probably like him for it too.

His status won't rise because of his tooling though and I doubt that there is a way around it because people who are attracted to assholes are generally either insecure, low status or enjoy tooling others themselves. So we can think of tooling as having a neutral effect on his status.

The tricky thing I think is that an asshole who is high status and laying girls of high calibre is most likely high status because of his other resources (money, social connections) and not because of his tooling.

Put the tooling asshole with a genuine man who has the same resources as him and the asshole wouldn't stand a chance.

So to answer your original question....no. There wont be a moment where tooling would be the most powerful way to handle a situation. But there are cases where it won't be the WORST way.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Zac and Ash, so are you saying that being of an "asshole" personality type, they have the leeway to tool others and still remain relatively high status?

High status people rarely tool others. I tool back a guy once and his girl in the group was dripping wet. He was trying to be King in my territory if you will.

Trust me, you never want to tool (aside from fun) unless necessary. You never know who is really King in that territory.

Zac