I was curious about how you guys handle this.
I will give you a few examples from my personal experience that I remember.
Girl 1: I meet her at a bar, she seems to be there alone, so I say hello to her, and then ask her to go sit alone with me. We have a few drinks, and after a while we start admitting attraction for each other. I tell her I find her cute, and she smiles shly and says that she thinks I have sexy eyes. I think this is about 30 minutes into the conversation, so I ask her if she wants to go back to my place. She says she "wants to take it slow". I press her on it and insist 2-3 times and then I just say "or we can go downstairs if you want" and she agrees. I hold her hand while going down there, to make sure she knows I am sexual. Once there I kiss her, she asks if I have a condom, but as soon as I try to get her pants off, she starts resisting me, and then suddenly tells me "sorry I am not horny, I really don't want to disappoint you" then starts talking about all sorts of personal problems, her not having hooked up a lot and so on. I follow her home (she lives 2 minutes away) and ask a final time to get inside, she says no. I offer her phone contact, she says no, I ask her if she wants to see me again, she says no, maybe at the bar we can say hello but I know I won't write you. So I bid her farewell and walk home, not thinking of her or being mad or anything.
Fast forward 2 months she starts "hello'ing" me every time she sees me, and at one point even joins me in said bar to play cardgames with us. One day at the super market I even try to avoid her eye contact, but she still "hello's" me. In my car on my way home I smack myself for not just stopping there and ask what she wants. Later she turns up on Facebook suggested friends so I just write her, directly, asks her why she is trying to get in touch with me again when she rejected me the first time. And she replies that he did reject me the first time and tried to avoid me, but then found it to be "retarded" to do that and decided not to.
Girl 2: I see her at a different party from the first one. She is all dressed up sluttily (I like slutty girls, conservatives are no fun!) so I just approach her hard on and say "hey, I like your style, what is your name?" and she responds positively immediately, but also starts using her phone while talking to me, I stop talking, just staring at her phone. She refuses to stop using it, and gives me the "I have to go back to my friends" excuse and then goes away. I lose all interest because of her rudeness and forget about her. Fast forward a few months, she made friends with some of my friends. And sometimes when I meet these people out in public, and I talk to them. Even though I don't talk to her, she will respond, laugh, smile and look at me when I'm talking to the others. I even caught her trying to sit next to me at bars and other social gatherings.
I have many more examples like this but I'm sure you catch my drift here. I have a very very strong tendency for dumping girls after 1 attempt and then never going back, just to protect myself. The only reasons I can come up with for why a girl would do this is
1. She was auto-rejecting when she rejected at start. She actually likes me, and wants to get together but she didn't like the speed, or she was slutshaming herself for going so fast etcetera, and is therefore not willing to let me go so easily.
2. She is a very low self-esteem girl who needs constant emotional validation and even though she doesn't like me, or doesn't want to get back together with me, she still wants me as "an option".
3. She is just either mean-spirited, or awkward, and doesn't understand that what she is doing is potentially socially harmful.
What do you guys think, what is your prior experiences, and what do you recommend you do in these situations?
I will give you a few examples from my personal experience that I remember.
Girl 1: I meet her at a bar, she seems to be there alone, so I say hello to her, and then ask her to go sit alone with me. We have a few drinks, and after a while we start admitting attraction for each other. I tell her I find her cute, and she smiles shly and says that she thinks I have sexy eyes. I think this is about 30 minutes into the conversation, so I ask her if she wants to go back to my place. She says she "wants to take it slow". I press her on it and insist 2-3 times and then I just say "or we can go downstairs if you want" and she agrees. I hold her hand while going down there, to make sure she knows I am sexual. Once there I kiss her, she asks if I have a condom, but as soon as I try to get her pants off, she starts resisting me, and then suddenly tells me "sorry I am not horny, I really don't want to disappoint you" then starts talking about all sorts of personal problems, her not having hooked up a lot and so on. I follow her home (she lives 2 minutes away) and ask a final time to get inside, she says no. I offer her phone contact, she says no, I ask her if she wants to see me again, she says no, maybe at the bar we can say hello but I know I won't write you. So I bid her farewell and walk home, not thinking of her or being mad or anything.
Fast forward 2 months she starts "hello'ing" me every time she sees me, and at one point even joins me in said bar to play cardgames with us. One day at the super market I even try to avoid her eye contact, but she still "hello's" me. In my car on my way home I smack myself for not just stopping there and ask what she wants. Later she turns up on Facebook suggested friends so I just write her, directly, asks her why she is trying to get in touch with me again when she rejected me the first time. And she replies that he did reject me the first time and tried to avoid me, but then found it to be "retarded" to do that and decided not to.
Girl 2: I see her at a different party from the first one. She is all dressed up sluttily (I like slutty girls, conservatives are no fun!) so I just approach her hard on and say "hey, I like your style, what is your name?" and she responds positively immediately, but also starts using her phone while talking to me, I stop talking, just staring at her phone. She refuses to stop using it, and gives me the "I have to go back to my friends" excuse and then goes away. I lose all interest because of her rudeness and forget about her. Fast forward a few months, she made friends with some of my friends. And sometimes when I meet these people out in public, and I talk to them. Even though I don't talk to her, she will respond, laugh, smile and look at me when I'm talking to the others. I even caught her trying to sit next to me at bars and other social gatherings.
I have many more examples like this but I'm sure you catch my drift here. I have a very very strong tendency for dumping girls after 1 attempt and then never going back, just to protect myself. The only reasons I can come up with for why a girl would do this is
1. She was auto-rejecting when she rejected at start. She actually likes me, and wants to get together but she didn't like the speed, or she was slutshaming herself for going so fast etcetera, and is therefore not willing to let me go so easily.
2. She is a very low self-esteem girl who needs constant emotional validation and even though she doesn't like me, or doesn't want to get back together with me, she still wants me as "an option".
3. She is just either mean-spirited, or awkward, and doesn't understand that what she is doing is potentially socially harmful.
What do you guys think, what is your prior experiences, and what do you recommend you do in these situations?
