When other guys try to Assert Dominance with labels

[andersen09]

http://elitedaily.com/life/guys-prove-t ... 2/1399636/

Please read that article because it relates DIRECTLY to what I'm talking about.

I've ran into few times when guys call me 'buddy, dawg, bro, kiddo" at the end of their sentence in a very subtle way trying to assert dominance.
And you can tell by the way they say it, they are trying to label you into a 'kiddo or buddy'

Usually, these are the types of guys that are little insecure and have something to prove.
I don't usually run into this after guys get to know me, but I'll run into this the first time I run into a stranger.

"Hey big guy"
"Sup kiddo"

I know that for example if you say

"Don't call me a big guy"
"Don't call me a kiddo"

It's little bit bad for me on positioning way because you're fighting the label.
But if you also accept the label "Kiddo or Big guy" you're kind of fucked.

I've also read
https://www.girlschase.com/content/tacti ... -label-you
https://www.girlschase.com/content/label ... labels-bad
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-p ... -and-savvy (Where Chase talks about challenging the label 'boy)

It applies a bit more to situations where it's with girls/ people you'll run into more.

How do you deflect this type of attempt with ease and grace?

 

[BrandonCodi]

I've experienced insults and labels before and I've come to 3 conclusions for how one will react:

1. Take the insult and remember it, creating a grudge
2. Overreact and get pissed
3. Laugh about it and add to it

1. Taking an insult and worrying about it is terrible because you replay the situation over many times and think of what you could have said. I am guilty of this and do not recommend doing it.

2. Overreacting and getting pissed will make someone look like an idiot. You'll be lucky if it isn't you.

3. If you laugh about it, then the person who insulted you has no reason to think you're a threat or dislike you. If they do, they will be seen in the social setting as the one in the wrong. If they talk to a girl about you and try and make you look bad when in front of her you looked chill, then that guy is basically digging his own grave.

Solution 3 is the best, but it can be hard because labels piss you off. You could always retaliate and call them what they call you too. If someone calls me "buddy" I don't let it bother me because I have nothing to prove. I have inner confidence and I probably get laid more than him. That's enough victory for me right there. He is insecure. I would way rather my situation than his, and I take comfort in that.

Cheers, brother

 

[Virgin101]

http://elitedaily.com/life/guys-prove-theyre-alpha-2/1399636/

Please read that article because it relates DIRECTLY to what I'm talking about.

I've ran into few times when guys call me 'buddy, dawg, bro, kiddo" at the end of their sentence in a very subtle way trying to assert dominance.
And you can tell by the way they say it, they are trying to label you into a 'kiddo or buddy'

Usually, these are the types of guys that are little insecure and have something to prove.
I don't usually run into this after guys get to know me, but I'll run into this the first time I run into a stranger.

"Hey big guy"
"Sup kiddo"

I know that for example if you say

"Don't call me a big guy"
"Don't call me a kiddo"

It's little bit bad for me on positioning way because you're fighting the label.
But if you also accept the label "Kiddo or Big guy" you're kind of fucked.

In the part of Ireland that I'm from, people use "boy" to do this... only it's pronounced sort of like a mixture of 'bye' and 'boy'! It'd sort of be like a less condescending version of 'son'! However, this sort of thing can often be done under someone's breath, to such an extent that you'd nearly say to yourself it's hardly worth addressing it. But that'd be silly.

So what you can do is, "boy" them back:

"How's it going boy?
"not to bad (slight pause) boy"

said perhaps with a slight laugh, like as if to say 'who are you trying to be, calling me boy?' And then immediately move on.

For example, the other day I got a fella who "boyed" me at the check outs scanning my products. I'll admit he did seem kind of friendly so no real threat. But in a firm voice I said "don't you boy me". He looked a bit shocked, and then I immediately said "I'm only joking with you, you're fine" & we proceded to chat. Think about this... although I said I was joking, he'll know not to boy me again!

However, if it's ever someone like a waiter who does it to me, I'll correct them immediately with a simple "you shouldn't boy people". So yeah, for me, it's either a "do it back to them" or to correct them. I've never read about it though, articles on to the 'to do' list!

Take care boy