When she says "why" to a request. Is this a shit test?

[PaulieFlyn10]

Hey so this is a situation I've encountered once in while... what do you think is an appropriate response to when a girl responds with "why" to a request or invitation

For example you met her online and she replies with "why do you want my number"
Or "why do you want to see/meet me?" When you tell her you'd like to see her. And other variations of the "why" reply

I understand that this probably has to do with issues in game early in the interaction. most likely she ìsnt attracted (even though, most times the convo has been fun and flirtatious)


However, i do feel things can be fixed and hoping to not make things worse. So what do you think it's a good response to that?

 

[Will_V]

Hey so this is a situation I've encountered once in while... what do you think is an appropriate response to when a girl responds with "why" to a request or invitation

For example you met her online and she replies with "why do you want my number"
Or "why do you want to see/meet me?" When you tell her you'd like to see her. And other variations of the "why" reply

I understand that this probably has to do with issues in game early in the interaction. most likely she ìsnt attracted (even though, most times the convo has been fun and flirtatious)


However, i do feel things can be fixed and hoping to not make things worse. So what do you think it's a good response to that?

It is a response to lack of frame control.

Generally when a woman asks 'why' it's because you have not provided the necessary context for her to either submit to a frame or raise an objection - she must make you clarify it first. The way you clarify it has a very large effect on how she will react to the frame itself.

It doesn't necessarily mean she's not attracted. For example I had a girl who I failed to set sexual frames with ask 'what are you doing?' when I started touching her - but once I established my frame, it was full steam ahead.

The whole idea of 'shit tests' generally, and the idea that things can get suddenly out of hand for no reason like some thunderstorm coming out of the blue sky, comes from a place of lack of leadership. Guys who lead women know that it is all just about frames - setting frames, modifying frames, re-framing, replacing frames, clarifying frames, reiterating frames.

Anytime you don't get what you want with a girl, just ask yourself - where did my framing go wrong, and what will I do to establish the right one now? You'll save yourself a lot of anxiety and wasted time playing games.

 

[Chase]

@PaulieFlyn10,

Sometimes it's due to not qualifying her earlier. If you just started talking to her, haven't told her anything really unique about her that you like, then asked her out, the first thing on her mind is going to be, "Wait. He doesn't know anything about me. Why does he want to meet? Does he just ask out any girl who'll talk to him?"

If you think it's due to lack of qualification (and if you really didn't tell her much you like about her, it's a safe bet it's probably that), then you just spool off a few quick cold reads or unique observations about her that make her feel like YES, this is actually personal, and YES, you are seeing her as special, not just some random chick. e.g.:

"Well, you know, I really like that you like animals -- that tells me some good things about you right up front. You're health-conscious with your pilates so I know we vibe well on that front. And our conversations so far have been fun. You liking [RANDOM BAND YOU BOTH LIKE] definitely gets you some bonus points. I think it'd be nice to see if we vibe just as well in person."​

You will also get girls doing this because they have self-esteem issues, or are inexperienced, where even if you've qualified them a lot they still feel awkward and just give an instinctive pushback for you to get around. If you're in-person (I know you met this one online) it's easy to tell because she looks a bit nervous/hesitant and it's more of an inquisitive, unconfident, "Why?"

For that you just tease, then qualify. Like so:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: You mean you want to go out with me? Why?​

​

YOU: Well, the truth is I'm a human trafficker and we need more slaves. No, I'm just kidding. Well, duh! I've had fun talking to you and I think I could potentially like you. I'd like to talk with you more again and find out for sure. Is that a good enough reason?​

Then you get the ones where it's just a standard test. You didn't do anything overly bad; she just wants to see how you react when she throws out a curveball.

If you're in-person, you know this because you qualified the girl well and the two of you had a good vibe, and when she asks why it's in a confident, smiling way with her looking at you expectantly, clearly ready to gauge your response.

Some absurdist future projection is my preference for these if she has a sense of humor:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: [confident smile] Why?​

​

YOU: Well, you know, as much as I love stealing puppies from the dog park, it's really a two-person operation. I think with your build and physique you'd be just right for it.​

Or if she hasn't shown as much of a sense of humor:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: [confident smile] Why?​

​

YOU: Oh don't give me that. We've had a nice conversation and we get along. It'd be weird if we DIDN'T meet. Here, hand me your phone, I'll put my contact in for you.​

Chase

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

It is a response to lack of frame control.

Generally when a woman asks 'why' it's because you have not provided the necessary context for her to either submit to a frame or raise an objection - she must make you clarify it first. The way you clarify it has a very large effect on how she will react to the frame itself.

It doesn't necessarily mean she's not attracted. For example I had a girl who I failed to set sexual frames with ask 'what are you doing?' when I started touching her - but once I established my frame, it was full steam ahead.

The whole idea of 'shit tests' generally, and the idea that things can get suddenly out of hand for no reason like some thunderstorm coming out of the blue sky, comes from a place of lack of leadership. Guys who lead women know that it is all just about frames - setting frames, modifying frames, re-framing, replacing frames, clarifying frames, reiterating frames.

Anytime you don't get what you want with a girl, just ask yourself - where did my framing go wrong, and what will I do to establish the right one now? You'll save yourself a lot of anxiety and wasted time playing games.

Interesting take... noted a few points down... thanks

i haven't really paid much to frame control tho. Like never really studied it... i think what get results for me is just being dominant & sexualizing so i cant really self analyze to pin point different changes in frame and stuff like that

What do you mean by clarifying things? Not sure about it... do you mean like intent? And what's the best way to clarify things

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

@PaulieFlyn10,

Sometimes it's due to not qualifying her earlier. If you just started talking to her, haven't told her anything really unique about her that you like, then asked her out, the first thing on her mind is going to be, "Wait. He doesn't know anything about me. Why does he want to meet? Does he just ask out any girl who'll talk to him?"

If you think it's due to lack of qualification (and if you really didn't tell her much you like about her, it's a safe bet it's probably that), then you just spool off a few quick cold reads or unique observations about her that make her feel like YES, this is actually personal, and YES, you are seeing her as special, not just some random chick. e.g.:

"Well, you know, I really like that you like animals -- that tells me some good things about you right up front. You're health-conscious with your pilates so I know we vibe well on that front. And our conversations so far have been fun. You liking [RANDOM BAND YOU BOTH LIKE] definitely gets you some bonus points. I think it'd be nice to see if we vibe just as well in person."​

You will also get girls doing this because they have self-esteem issues, or are inexperienced, where even if you've qualified them a lot they still feel awkward and just give an instinctive pushback for you to get around. If you're in-person (I know you met this one online) it's easy to tell because she looks a bit nervous/hesitant and it's more of an inquisitive, unconfident, "Why?"

For that you just tease, then qualify. Like so:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: You mean you want to go out with me? Why?​

​

YOU: Well, the truth is I'm a human trafficker and we need more slaves. No, I'm just kidding. Well, duh! I've had fun talking to you and I think I could potentially like you. I'd like to talk with you more again and find out for sure. Is that a good enough reason?​

Then you get the ones where it's just a standard test. You didn't do anything overly bad; she just wants to see how you react when she throws out a curveball.

If you're in-person, you know this because you qualified the girl well and the two of you had a good vibe, and when she asks why it's in a confident, smiling way with her looking at you expectantly, clearly ready to gauge your response.

Some absurdist future projection is my preference for these if she has a sense of humor:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: [confident smile] Why?​

​

YOU: Well, you know, as much as I love stealing puppies from the dog park, it's really a two-person operation. I think with your build and physique you'd be just right for it.​

Or if she hasn't shown as much of a sense of humor:

YOU: We should hang out sometime.​

​

HER: [confident smile] Why?​

​

YOU: Oh don't give me that. We've had a nice conversation and we get along. It'd be weird if we DIDN'T meet. Here, hand me your phone, I'll put my contact in for you.​

Chase

Sometimes I wonder where you get this God like understanding from Chase... this is brilliant.. love the examples too

And I've definitely come across the confident (almost standoffish) smiling way... usually tough to respond to cause everything went so well and she throws that out lol

This would be very helpful in case it happens again. Thanks!

 

[Skills]

The problem is your timing was off she was not hooked/invested enough for her to give u number... i have atechnique that will force her to give u number or text of app.... you want the compliance and get off app... is an adaptation of popcorn;

Me: ready for test, how happy are in yor life from 1to 10? 10 being best.. if she says anythong under 10 you answer, that is because u have not met me,once you meet me will be 10... if sge ask u aboutu never say anythong less than 8, and say your always working on yoursel u nevever get comfortable blah blah.. then say one more queston what are your 2 best qualities that have nothong with your appearance...

Banter briefly of that and close with cindy you are pretty cool and someone worth getting tp knpw i am barely if ever here text me at 77777 say is cindy from tonder so i know who you are if i dont text you back right away is not cause i am being calculated or playing aloof, but i may be busy with clients...

^ if u do this properly she will text or give u her number

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Me: ready for test, how happy are in yor life from 1to 10? 10 being best.. if she says anythong under 10 you answer, that is because u have not met me,once you meet me will be 10... if sge ask u aboutu never say

Yeah,a chase frame there but humor-less chicks may fail to pick up on it that u just flirting or messing with them.I believe it's overselling a tactic but at times don't you think you it comes across as one qualifying himself Just asking...

 

[Skills]

Yeah,a chase frame there but humor-less chicks may fail to pick up on it that u just flirting or messing with them.I believe it's overselling a tactic but at times don't you think you it comes across as one qualifying himself Just asking...

wrong! how about you field test...

I fix the spelling i was on my phone here is the routine spelled properly:


The problem is your timing was off she was not hooked/invested enough for her to give u number... i have a technique that will force her to give u number or text of app.... you want the compliance and get off the app... is an adaptation of popcorn;

Me: ready for test, how happy are in your life from 1 to 10? 10 being the best.. if she says anything under 10 you answer, that is because you have not met me, once you meet me will be 10... if she ask you what about you never say anything less than 8, and say your always working on yourself you never get comfortable blah blah.. then say one more question what are your 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance?

Banter briefly of that and close with Cindy you are pretty cool and someone worth getting tp know i am barely if ever here text me at 77777 say is cindy from tonder so i know who you are if i dont text you back right away is not cause i am being calculated or playing aloof, but i may be busy with clients...

^ if u do this properly she will text or give u her number, here style doing similar

 

[hey_lover]

Sometimes a woman asks why because you've demonstrated so much value that she wants to know why her and not someone else. When it's happened to me (usually on the date request), I explicitly stated interest and on all occasions they came out on a date.