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When should I text or call her?

Easypeasy

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
15
Hi folks,
I spent hours going through all the topics but with no luck. Since I do not think Chase is still replying to any comments on his website I am very interested in your opinion and/experiences. As you can tell I am not a native english speaker.

I met an amazing woman through tinder. She´s living 500km from my place, we chatted for weeks, then finally met in her weekend house 200km form our places. The weekend was just mindblowing. She was super cute, honest, so real an got laid several times. Everything I ever wanted and cannot get in my region!
We even made plans for the future, not very definite but kind of serious in way that we agreed to have found each other and need to find out where this could lead to. She said, she liked me and def wants to see me again ... as soon as she got her responsiblities sorted (she owns businesses).

My mistakes:
In the first week we kept on chatting but with less emotional responses from her side. I sent her a long email telling her how much I liked the weekend and being with her. I wanted to know how she thinks about the situation (as I kept on waiting) and make her remember the good times. She called and told me that it would be too early to commit anything but likes me alot for my words, very much appreciates my honesty and still wants to be with me soon. I only need to wait for 10 more days.

Chats went on, much better, I never put her under time pressure, she even offered to see me in a place close to her house very soon, for fun. I agreed. We never met, as she never suggested any date. Days later I asked how she was doing and thought about her idea to see me but was kind of annoyed by me. However, the chats read like she was still very much into me but then suddenly called and told me it is over as she is not going to have enough time for me soon. And also felt under pressure. But doesn´t want to loose me and I should keep on writing her.

6 days ago, I sent her a long email where I explained my view and told her not to worry too much about time as I can wait if needed. She never replied to this email but in our recent chat she seemed quite cold-hearted. Since then I have not written her anymore.

Until the day she called and dropped me we had good, honest, fun and sexy chats where she pretended to do everything possible to see me, even made small plans for us.

Important to know: She has a young child and her childs dad is living close to her. They still have a good friendship, nothing else, but she is trying to establish some kind of a family "relationship". One of the reasons why I could not visit her. Actually, her aim was to move to her weekend house (where we met anyways) and start a new live with a new partner, maybe me.

I know I chased her too much and try to follow Chase´s recommendation not to contact her. So far so good.

How long would you suggest to wait?
Do you see any chance at all to see her again ... after I chased her?
Do you think she is running away from a relationship?
How could I start a conversation in our chat (due to covid) without being desperate but confident?
What could convince her to have a fun weekend with me again and make her forget everything I said about a relationship?

Cheers
Easpeasy
 
Last edited:

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@Easypeasy dude! to many mistakes to comprehend and there isn't a magic bullet here. You could go complete no contact and let her come to you, you could go all "long game" and hit her up weeks later down the line but judging from the current position this won't really work and in relation to covid check out skills post about using covid to get laid. That is the message you need to send if you wish to send anything.
 

Easypeasy

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
15
Thanks. I worry to loose her completely by not contacting her for weeks. Who knows how long this lock down lasts.

Because memories and feelings will fade eventually after some time, I wondered WHEN the best time would be to contact her ... just to keep the communication alive, to show interest in her, even though she broke up. Does it sound stupid?

Should I wait several weeks (5 days since our last chat) before contacting her?
I do not think her feelings are as strong as mine, her child has first priority anyways and hence doubt she is contacting me first.
Thanks for the covid hint!!!
 

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@Easypeasy dude your first two sentences says everything. Frightened to lose her puts you in a weaker position where you're left chasing her.

Sounds very stupid keeping the communication alive when she broke it. It shows she's more valuable to you than she is to you this will turn her off faster than anything. If you're cool, calm, confident and getting on without her that's when she gets intrigued. If she isn't well it was a lost chance anyway.

I'd not contact her at all personally and go find other girls. This one is going to waste a lot of time. Realise you made a mistake and learn from it chasing won't help.

Due to the circumstances if you want to contact her you have one chance with everything that's going on and that's the thread I previously mentioned. You hope she stays safe and that you don't know what the future holds but you want to see her one more time before everything's locked down.

This might not work, after this you can't contact her again ever. She must come to you. This forces a decision from her and you know where you stand.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

BigPapa

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
601
@Easypeasy i do not Want to sound rude , but how you self positioned yourself in this whole story is really really bad :)

long distance relationships never work , so you kinda shoot your self in the foot only by thinking further more than just sex . This is a situation of tap the ass & clap After with your friends when you are telling the story
 
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