When the bubble pops

[mandrew]

Hi guys...these are just my observations. Hope some of the terms I use you can understand.

PART ONE....
One of the biggest problems I'm finding is keeping the "love bubble" alive after the interaction.

For me I meet a girl during the day on the street. Have a 6-12 minute interaction on the street or in a store.

By the end of the interaction she is showing me all the signs of a girl who is interested--- twiddling her hair, eyes dilated, hooking and asking me questions.

Sometimes I'll bounce her to coffee thinking I need to make the interaction even stronger.

Get the number and close.

What happens next is the part I have no control over.

......

PART TWO

Hours later I'll text and she will get back to me rather quick. We might go back and for texting that same night for a little while.

The next day I "ping" her and maybe get back a smaller exchange. Not as positive but still receptive.

The next day... NOTHING....

Maybe wait a few more days and ping again....STILL NOTHING....

I feel anymore text messages beyond this point are creepy. I have tried all variations of sending less words in text to waiting days to first text the girl.

......................

What my contention is, the bubble is only good at the moment. Sometimes you'll see these infields on youtube of guys who are traveling or going to bars and they are pulling really fucking quick. They are at the bar and get it done that night. Or a guy is on a euro jaunt and has a limited amount of days so he pushes to get her out the next day and they fuck.

Everything is quick.

......................

I date alot of asian girls and i'll always be amazed with how their friends that she tells later on about the interaction have a huge impact on if you see her again. If her friends thinks foreigners are scary, then she thinks you are scary. I have had girls tell me "My mother told me not to talk to strangers" or "My dad would not approve"....

If you meet a girl in a business district and she happily gives you her number but then her job gets in the way, then that hot lead you had dies on the vine.

Or if you meet a girl who has a built in set of friends and she worries what they will think.

Or a girl has a boyfriend,or husband but gets so caught up in the moment that she forgets she has a boyfriend.

I genuinely believe half of your work as a gamer is based on how physically attractive you are to her. No question that techniques work and enhance the interaction but there is so much that is out of your control that you can't even begin to understand. The other half is all her. I used to beat myself up for not being good enough at one particular element of attracting girls. Endless nights of sitting up angry at myself for not being good enough but now I realize so much is out of my control. You can try blowing up the bubble but it is always working against you.

What do you guys think?

 

[Richard]

A couple questions and remarks for you:

1) How do you close? Let's say I'm a girl, and you want to grab my number, how do you do it?

2) Texting is a tool for setting up something more physical, not to be used for building a connection. So, there's no reason the two of you should be texting for an entire night.

3) Those guys who are maintaining what you call the "bubble," what are you doing differently than them?

4) Why are you assuming that so much is out of your control? Believe it or not, there are only a few elements that you can't control that will actually direct the interaction with a girl: namely, her mood. You absolutely control your body image, and you absolutely control the flow of the interaction. You also control her "want" to see you again. Seems like you're in a small bubble of being a victim in saying that there are some things you just can't control: it's bullshit thinking that helps people feel better about not getting results because again, the scope of things you do or can control is much larger than the impact of things that you can't control in most scenarios.

-Richard

 

[ProblemSolving]

This will explain exactly what you're feeling:
[url=http://www.goodlookingloser.c...w.goodlookingloser.com/more/ar ... mbers-game[\url]

 

[mandrew]

A couple questions and remarks for you:

1) How do you close? Let's say I'm a girl, and you want to grab my number, how do you do it?

2) Texting is a tool for setting up something more physical, not to be used for building a connection. So, there's no reason the two of you should be texting for an entire night.

3) Those guys who are maintaining what you call the "bubble," what are you doing differently than them?

4) Why are you assuming that so much is out of your control? Believe it or not, there are only a few elements that you can't control that will actually direct the interaction with a girl: namely, her mood. You absolutely control your body image, and you absolutely control the flow of the interaction. You also control her "want" to see you again. Seems like you're in a small bubble of being a victim in saying that there are some things you just can't control: it's bullshit thinking that helps people feel better about not getting results because again, the scope of things you do or can control is much larger than the impact of things that you can't control in most scenarios.

-Richard

None of this is me being a victim, Richard. The opposite actually. Your critiquing small points and not seeing the larger picture of what I'm saying. You kind of missed some small points but zeroed in on other small technical points. I didn't say I texted all night and I did mention I test variations of texting, which you ignored.

Secondly... closing is always easier, the better the interaction is. I've tried variations of that also.

I'm not saying I have all answers in a black and white fashion.

I got to get to work and can't adequately give you a good reply. Later after work i'll respond to this.

 

[mandrew]

This will explain exactly what you're feeling:
[url=http://www.goodlookingloser.c...w.goodlookingloser.com/more/ar ... mbers-game[\url]

I'll check that out later. Thanks. Heard about that blog on a podcast a couple weeks ago.

 

[Richard]

None of this is me being a victim, Richard. The opposite actually. Your critiquing small points and not seeing the larger picture of what I'm saying. You kind of missed some small points but zeroed in on other small technical points. I didn't say I texted all night and I did mention I test variations of texting, which you ignored.

Secondly... closing is always easier, the better the interaction is. I've tried variations of that also.

I'm not saying I have all answers in a black and white fashion.

I got to get to work and can't adequately give you a good reply. Later after work i'll respond to this.

• What happens next is the part I have no control over.

• but there is so much that is out of your control that you can't even begin to understand.

• What do you guys think?

Call it what you will but you're still saying that "I can't do XYZ," or "XYZ isn't happening for me, but is for other guys" and have rationalized that "It's beyond my control." I don't know about you but that sounds like a small victim mentality to me. Furthermore, you fail to see how the small points I'm criticizing influence the bigger picture as a whole.

You also asked for what people think - I'm offering you what I think. Feel free to critique it all you want - based on your response, I'd say that you're looking for people to agree with you more so than offer differing points of view.

Anyway, I look forward to your answers.

 

[mandrew]

None of this is me being a victim, Richard. The opposite actually. Your critiquing small points and not seeing the larger picture of what I'm saying. You kind of missed some small points but zeroed in on other small technical points. I didn't say I texted all night and I did mention I test variations of texting, which you ignored.

Secondly... closing is always easier, the better the interaction is. I've tried variations of that also.

I'm not saying I have all answers in a black and white fashion.

I got to get to work and can't adequately give you a good reply. Later after work i'll respond to this.

• What happens next is the part I have no control over.

• but there is so much that is out of your control that you can't even begin to understand.

• What do you guys think?

Call it what you will but you're still saying that "I can't do XYZ," or "XYZ isn't happening for me, but is for other guys" and have rationalized that "It's beyond my control." I don't know about you but that sounds like a small victim mentality to me. Furthermore, you fail to see how the small points I'm criticizing influence the bigger picture as a whole.

You also asked for what people think - I'm offering you what I think. Feel free to critique it all you want - based on your response, I'd say that you're looking for people to agree with you more so than offer differing points of view.

Anyway, I look forward to your answers.

Every board has a resident gamma who stomps around basically bullying beginners and mentally masturbating moot points they think they only understand. You might be that kind of guy.

I find arguing with these guys is bad for my vibe and only accomplishes feeding the beast more.

 

[Richard]

Yup. You caught me

You're a funny guy. Enjoy your time on the Boards.

 

[Bete Noire]

Mandrew, this supposed 'resident gamma' is giving you genuine feedback that he believes will help you. Richard has had many more experiences than most of the beginners and I believe you should show a lil' bit of respect towards his advice - seen as it is his free time he's giving up to help you. If you disagree with something in the future, don't retort, just respectfully thank and do what you wish.

 

[mandrew]

Mandrew, this supposed 'resident gamma' is giving you genuine feedback that he believes will help you. Richard has had many more experiences than most of the beginners and I believe you should show a lil' bit of respect towards his advice - seen as it is his free time he's giving up to help you. If you disagree with something in the future, don't retort, just respectfully thank and do what you wish.

I don't know who Richard is. All I see is a guy seething with anger online that feels entitled to my attention.

I can pop another bubble and ask how much he actually opens offline versus how much he posts online but I won't because that would only envigorate him more. I do get what your saying, and I will ignore him. Thanks for the heads up .

 

[JimmyB]

Went back and looked at the article ProblemSolving posted - that pretty much nails it. But anyways, this was my version.

I don't want to get into the bickering match between OP and Richard, but I do want to discuss a point Richard brings up.

being a victim in saying that there are some things you just can't control: it's bullshit thinking that helps people feel better about not getting results

I want to argue that being able to accept what you can't control is actually very beneficial to progress. I think there's a lot from her end that you cannot control - no matter how attractive you make yourself, you may just not be her type. Maybe your style is not her style. Maybe she can tell you're looking for something quick and she just doesn't do that.

To use a comparison, let's say youre really good at something - let's say basketball for no reason at all. Let's look at LeBron James, he's pretty much the best. He makes a lot of shots and scores a lot of points. But he, of course, misses plenty every game. Now does he get upset when he misses? No, because he knows he can't make every shot. BUT it's also because he knows that he practices harder than everyone else out there, and that he makes most of the shots he should.
In the same regard, mandrew, I know the whole comparison is cliche, but it's true - you can't always close and a lot of times there's nothing more you could do. You're not perfect for every girl - not for a large majority of girls. And getting upset when things work out is often wasted effort if you feel like you did most things right.
BUT on the same token, it's important to always be putting work into yourself, your fundamentals, all that jazz. So that when you DO encounter a girl whose exact type you are, you're going to make it an amazing time and close out like you should.

 

[Richard]

Jimmy and Andrew,

I'm not hear to make enemies, nor do I have to be on the Boards at all. My ability and skill with seduction has long since been established and I'm only on the Boards to help out the guys who are going through what I went through in order to speed up their learning curve. That simple. I absolutely love helping others, and if I can aid somebody in anyway I can then I will; on the Boards, it's by replying to people's questions.

Andrew,

Did it ever occur to you that I was asking the questions I was because they're beneficial to me helping you? Unless you have field reports up then I can't see how you close a girl, and how you close a girl directly impacts your future connection with that girl. So, because you didn't mention how you close, and that I can't see how you close - I have to ask. My question about the "you vs. them" regarding the guys who can maintain the bubble - it's an empowering question that allows you to reflect on where you can improve with game. My comment about texting - you flat out mentioned that you have texted girls into the night; never once did I say you do that all the time, just that you should be weary of it in the future.

As for the victim mentality - I still think you have a small one. Well... victim mentality isn't the right word here, and I apologize for the biting label, limiting belief is better. You've said that you have no control over certain things - but in the context of what you've written, I'm saying that you do. I don't think your texting is weak but I do think you're missing a nuance that helps you to further pursue a connection with a woman. So, again, I need to see an example of how you typically close.

Jimmy,

I want to argue that being able to accept what you can't control is actually very beneficial to progress. I think there's a lot from her end that you cannot control - no matter how attractive you make yourself, you may just not be her type. Maybe your style is not her style. Maybe she can tell you're looking for something quick and she just doesn't do that.

'

I acknowledged this. What I said was that the scope of things you can control outweighs the scope of things that you can't: obviously, the OP is approaching women and pulling numbers so he is finding women who like his style and view him as their "type." I find that for most women, they have no immediate resistance to you opening them - and when they do, it's usually do to her being in a bad mood which is something you can't control. Once you're in the thick of conversation with her - you have control and that's the point I was making.

Although, you do bring up a good point and it further reinforces why I need to see how Andrew closes women and runs a typical interaction. There's only so much I can offer based on ambiguity and generalized posts.

-Richard

P.S. I also saw that you, Andrew, have experience with game already (which was evident in your post) but I didn't think you had 2 years in. Seems like you're coming to the Boards with a different perspective on "gaming" because you used other systems before finding these Boards. It's always fun to toss different ideas around. That being said, you're prior experience leads me to question why you'd be having this trouble with maintaining the bubble? Maybe the other systems didn't stress it, but Chase certainly does. Anyway, sorry for the prior hassle, it was a mistake on my part based on information I was missing.