Lushie

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
22
One of the things I'm currently struggling is learning when to have sprezzatura vs being high energy. I feel more naturally inclined to be high energy/reactive/bold since I tend to have a lot more fun with it and it gets people laughing. Some seducers I like to model after are Craig Ferguson and Russell Brand. However, I do notice I tend to make more mistakes/less seductive/uncalibrated moves when I get carried away. So when I try being low-energy or attempt sprezzature, I notice I come across more mysterious/seductive/building intrigue, even my girl friends would start to act different around me. But it doesn't feel natural to me and sometimes I have the urge to throw in a bold compliment/go direct/cocky-funny but I choose to refrain myself to hold the frame. I also feel like if I make one mistake, I lose that vibe.

I feel like you can have both vibe and if so when is the right time to switch between the two? Going from a Craig Ferguson to a Sean Connery or vice versa.
 

Kaiderman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
31
One of the things I'm currently struggling is learning when to have sprezzatura vs being high energy. I feel more naturally inclined to be high energy/reactive/bold since I tend to have a lot more fun with it and it gets people laughing. Some seducers I like to model after are Craig Ferguson and Russell Brand. However, I do notice I tend to make more mistakes/less seductive/uncalibrated moves when I get carried away. So when I try being low-energy or attempt sprezzature, I notice I come across more mysterious/seductive/building intrigue, even my girl friends would start to act different around me. But it doesn't feel natural to me and sometimes I have the urge to throw in a bold compliment/go direct/cocky-funny but I choose to refrain myself to hold the frame. I also feel like if I make one mistake, I lose that vibe.

I feel like you can have both vibe and if so when is the right time to switch between the two? Going from a Craig Ferguson to a
I relate with this to the very letter. Sometimes when I’m high energy I have more fun and feel more like myself but I dont come across as having the raw social power I do when acting sprezzatura. Even tho I’m pretty good at it and get amazing results, I find acting sprezzatura to be quite tiring because of the vigilant self monitoring that comes with it. I can never hold it for very long and end up just reverting back to my cocky funny high energy self after 1 or 2 days.

One thing that I do that made it less tiring to hold the frame is to mix the two together. Technically, you should always be sprezzatura at all times. I know it’s tiring but that doesnt mean you cant mix the frames together. If you fool around with the frame you’ll soon learn that you can do pretty much anything you want while in sprezzatura, it’s just how you frame it.

You can make cocky funny jokes, make bold compliments, or even go direct in a sprezzatura way. It’s hard to describe over text but try doing all the things you would do normally but in a calm, cool way and you’ll get the best of both worlds.
 

DonGately

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 16, 2020
Messages
100
You should also be trying to match her state if you've just met. And there's no reason you can't be cocky/funny [as I am] but also not high energy. Like a good Mitch Hedberg joke.
 

Lushie

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
22
One thing that I do that made it less tiring to hold the frame is to mix the two together. Technically, you should always be sprezzatura at all times. I know it’s tiring but that doesnt mean you cant mix the frames together. If you fool around with the frame you’ll soon learn that you can do pretty much anything you want while in sprezzatura, it’s just how you frame it.

You can make cocky funny jokes, make bold compliments, or even go direct in a sprezzatura way. It’s hard to describe over text but try doing all the things you would do normally but in a calm, cool way and you’ll get the best of both worlds.
Yeah it can be tiresome trying to have sprezzatura but you're right, I'll definitely fool around with the frame and try cocky funny in a calm manner. Thanks for the advice!

You should also be trying to match her state if you've just met. And there's no reason you can't be cocky/funny [as I am] but also not high energy. Like a good Mitch Hedberg joke.
Say the girl is high energy starting off and I match that, at least for the opener and first few moment into the interaction. Do I bring down the intensity afterwards and go into a calm/sprezzatura mode even while she's still keeping her energetic mood?
 

SunKing

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
186
One of the things I'm currently struggling is learning when to have sprezzatura vs being high energy.
You can still be effortless and high energy just think of efficiency and expending minimum effort.

If you’re flying your car up the interstate at 120 mph, zooming past cars changing lanes, looking out for police which scenario would be cooler.

You’re holding the steering wheel one handed, switching lanes smoothly, turning your head slightly and smoothly using your eyes to check your mirrors, nodding your head to the music, with a smile or no expression at all.

You’re herking and jerking the wheel turning your whole body to check your blind spots, swerving slightly, coming way too close to the cars ahead of you, yelling woo!!! with a huge grin.

Both take alot of energy, one just makes it look effortless.
I feel like you can have both vibe and if so when is the right time to switch between the two? Going from a Craig Ferguson to a Sean Connery or vice versa.
During the opening phase

If everyone around you is laughing and having a good time you probably want to come in high

where as if the vibes low energy you wanna come in low.

So as not to come off as a buzzkill or tryhard respectively
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
2,024
Location
South Florida
One of the things I'm currently struggling is learning when to have sprezzatura vs being high energy. I feel more naturally inclined to be high energy/reactive/bold since I tend to have a lot more fun with it and it gets people laughing. Some seducers I like to model after are Craig Ferguson and Russell Brand. However, I do notice I tend to make more mistakes/less seductive/uncalibrated moves when I get carried away. So when I try being low-energy or attempt sprezzature, I notice I come across more mysterious/seductive/building intrigue, even my girl friends would start to act different around me. But it doesn't feel natural to me and sometimes I have the urge to throw in a bold compliment/go direct/cocky-funny but I choose to refrain myself to hold the frame. I also feel like if I make one mistake, I lose that vibe.

I feel like you can have both vibe and if so when is the right time to switch between the two? Going from a Craig Ferguson to a Sean Connery or vice versa.


^ i am both, it is about the timing on the interaction, opening>hook stages and even a bit after you can be high energy, then if you don't cut the crap you become a dancing monkey one trick phony... You need to be able to switch to seductive....

in this video is kind of related were i go into it:

 

R3M0T3

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Nov 25, 2021
Messages
7
I'm pretty high energy and getting alot of makeouts based on the fact others see me making out with others and wonder wtf is up. this is guys or girls or trans.

I also look pretty scary sometimes creepy as fark, or innocent as fark.

I can pretty much stand there and just smile and girls open up.

The only reason why I'm not getting sex is due to me not been on PreP because I ain't banging with condoms. When people find out I don't bang someone they might try to see if they are attractive to me.

From girls and trans themselves they are scared of dickheads but say some get highly turned on by them. I'm a mixture of both and the girls wonder if I'm a dickhead and tell me not to be one. Others on the other hand hate me saying thankyou for a drink in their apartment and would rather me be high drunk and and a complete fucking idiot douchebag. to each to their own. Someone like jeffy from RSD even said 1/3 of girls just hate him. Guys would hate him as well. 1/3 would laugh. and 1/3 would wanna bang. Jeffy is a dickhead.

I get told not to be dickhead usually by bouncers because of complaints but they know im a decent dude because i assoiciate with people who wouldn't assoicate with dickheads. I also don't disrespect authority which most of these dickheads do after they get booted out or don't even bother to try and get back in. I tend to laugh at dickheads guys or girls and i have fun doing that as well. A lot of people don't put up with them.
 
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