When to make her your girlfriend?

[Tramp]

Looked everywhere, couldn't a find any recommendations on GC.

I've been seeing a girl for almost 2 months now, I'd say my attainability is in a sweet spot, she likes me a lot and I like her, without giving too much away and becoming needy. We've had sex, and she's already said I'm the best she's ever had (and she's relatively experienced, but not too much). I'd like to thank GC for helping me with all of that

I'd like to make her my girlfriend, but when do I do that? Is 2 months too soon? Also, I am very inexperienced with relationships. Most of my sexual experience has been fromcasual flings, and I drop the ball with relationship stuff. So how do I actually make her my girlfriend? Ask her or tell her? Get her a gift or?


Thanks guys!

 

[Franco]

Tramp,

You continue doing what you're doing until she brings it up. =)

(At this point, I usually say something like, "well, we can try the exclusivity thing for a bit, but let's not go too public about it yet and see how it works out.")

- Franco

 

[Tramp]

Franco,

Sounds good! I shall listen haha.

Out of curiosity though, why is letting her bring it up more of an attractive option then bringing it up myself? I guess it's coming down to the difference of leading vs. chasing, I was under the impression that bringing it up myself would be leading, but I guess it's probably chasing instead.

Anyway, a monumental thanks to ya for helping me out Franco

 

[ray_zorse]

Tramp's question re. leading or chasing is something that I have pondered a little bit too. I think the main thing to keep in mind is to go into an exclusive relationship ON YOUR TERMS. So what guys do is, they avoid it for as long as possible and then when it looks like she is going to leave, they finally cave. Far from strengthening the guy's frame this actually weakens it, because she realizes you're keen for her not to leave. It's still okay to let her chase, but do be smart about it, I think it is kind of a matter of fairness to her as well -- she is investing hard in you and if you fail to invest in return, then you're not rewarding her investment and you're going to cause anger and frustration. Having said that, monogamous relationships are pure poison if seduction and self-improvement actually matters to you (as opposed to it being something you have a casual interest in, and you're happy to drop it once it's served its purpose of getting you a girl). So you would be better off to try to pursue the idea of an open relationship or polygamy in such cases. You CAN do it, it's just a lot more challenging because her emotions will be all over the place. But if you genuinely care for her, and you think you can effectively communicate that in a non-traditional relationship and have her believe you, then it's probably worth considering. In my case it's rather hard to balance the fact, I really love my girl, AND seduction.
Ray

 

[Franco]

Tramp,

These two articles will explain most of what you want to know:

• Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It's So Very Important
  
  How Your Relationship Changes With a Girl After Sex

Main point here is: men chase sex; women chase relationships.

- Franco

 

[Tramp]

@Franco

Ah thank you, I missed those ones during my research. Thanks man!

 

[Tramp]

@Ray Thanks for your input man, going to rack my head around it!


Just a note, her ex is in the picture, and IDK what to do, if anyone can help, please comment here or on my other thread, called "How to DUMP girl when ex is in picture." I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and don't know what to do.