When to move a girl/ask for compliance? End of opening, or during conversation?

[Ryan]

I've noticed that some people seem to say it's best to test for compliance (e.g. If she's walking, tell her to stop. If she's sitting opposite you, tell her to sit next to you, etc) after opening to screen girls whether they are interested or not. Others say it's best to do these tests during conversation to increase attraction and enforce you as the leader in the interaction. What are your views?

Some additional questions concerning this:

1. If she's already sitting right next to you, there's no point in asking her to move someplace else, right?

2. If a girl is sitting reasonably close to me (e.g. opposite to me, or in a seat a few feet away that is okay for conversation but not for getting close), then when i tell her 'hey, sit over here', she either gives me a blank look as if to say 'no, i'm already comfortable here. I'm not moving for you.', or she just outright refuses and then it gets all awkward. Is this expected sometimes, or is there a way to improve this?

Thank you

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: When to move a girl/ask for compliance? End of opening, or during conversati

some people seem to say it's best to test for compliance (e.g. If she's walking, tell her to stop. If she's sitting opposite you, tell her to sit next to you, etc) after opening to screen girls whether they are interested or not. Others say it's best to do these tests during conversation to increase attraction and enforce you as the leader in the interaction. What are your views?

It serves all of the above.

1. If she's already sitting right next to you, there's no point in asking her to move someplace else, right?

If she's more than a couple feet away from me, I'll tell her to sit closer. If she doesn't, then she's failed my screen and I'll consider leaving right then.

2. If a girl is sitting reasonably close to me (e.g. opposite to me, or in a seat a few feet away that is okay for conversation but not for getting close), then when i tell her 'hey, sit over here', she either gives me a blank look as if to say 'no, i'm already comfortable here. I'm not moving for you.', or she just outright refuses and then it gets all awkward. Is this expected sometimes, or is there a way to improve this?

Hmm. Part of it is going to depend on how much she likes you. The other part is if you haven't escalated your compliance sufficiently. So if you've never talked to someone, and you tell them to sit closer to you, they'd be like "No way, dude!". But if you have them telling you about their dreams of travel, or they're in the middle of telling a funny story, they'll be a bit more likely to move for you.

It's best to ask for compliance on a high point; she's more likely to say "yes" and it sets good precedent in terms of compliance momentum (i.e. when you go for her number or instant date). And if she doesn't budge even then, you want to find a different girl .

~Nick

 

[Marty]

Re: When to move a girl/ask for compliance? End of opening, or during conversati

Ryan:

If you like you can have a look at my recent field report... the entire interaction lasted 35 minutes, of which only the last 25 were spent at the coffee shop. This means I built rapport for 10 minutes to get her comfortable with me before moving her. It felt about right.

-Marty

 

[Ryan]

Re: When to move a girl/ask for compliance? End of opening, or during conversati

Thank you Marty and Nick for your help.

I went over Chase's articles again today, and in one article he seems to advocate moving a woman TWICE. One to build trust and to set yourself as the leader/dominant figure. This move should take place just after the opening/as soon as possible.
The other (as Nick said) should take place at a high point. This is when Chase suggests moving a girl to a 'date venue' such as a cafe, from where you proceed to deep dive and building an emotional connection.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Re: When to move a girl/ask for compliance? End of opening, or during conversati

Hmm. Part of it is going to depend on how much she likes you. The other part is if you haven't escalated your compliance sufficiently. So if you've never talked to someone, and you tell them to sit closer to you, they'd be like "No way, dude!". But if you have them telling you about their dreams of travel, or they're in the middle of telling a funny story, they'll be a bit more likely to move for you.

It's best to ask for compliance on a high point; she's more likely to say "yes" and it sets good precedent in terms of compliance momentum (i.e. when you go for her number or instant date). And if she doesn't budge even then, you want to find a different girl .

~Nick

I went over Chase's articles again today, and in one article he seems to advocate moving a woman TWICE. One to build trust and to set yourself as the leader/dominant figure. This move should take place just after the opening/as soon as possible.
The other (as Nick said) should take place at a high point. This is when Chase suggests moving a girl to a 'date venue' such as a cafe, from where you proceed to deep dive and building an emotional connection.

Thank you for this thread, I've been having some issues with this lately, but this definitely helped put it into a better perspective of what to do.