Where i go wrong?

[Raphael]

Hi everyone,

Today i had one particular event that i want to share with those who are good in the pickup field. I had set a challenge to myself today at a particular store.
It was a chinese clothing store, and guiding through my questions was a beautiful brasilian small cute woman. I ask her a few questions about the items they have in store ( shirts etc). She had amazing green eyes and i coulnt stop thinking about that fact.
Then i grew some balls and when she came talking to me asking if i needeed something . I tell her " Can i ask you two questions?. She replied: " Yeah sure "
Then i reply : " Do you have a boyfriend? " and then she answer : " Yeah i am married.. but not in paper .."
I though :" Ok this is the final line..

I want to ask you guys : Did i done something wrong Or it was a good move, show some confidence and beside her answer it was how a Man needs to behave around women?
If i do something wrong what could i have done to get her number etc..

Thanks,
Raphael.

 

[Smith]

Try "are you single?" next time and probably didn't have to say "can i ask u two questions?".

She was married, and not in paper. I would've probably probed a little more about what that means just out of curiosity lol

But usually ignore her answer and just carry on with the conversation.

 

[Raphael]

Maybe I scared the girl! I think you´re right : asking " Are you single " could prove better than " Do you have a boyfriend? " .. This gives her a way to say yes just to put me away.

When you say probe a little bit what you mean?

Thanks,
Raphael.

 

[Smith]

When you say probe a little bit what you mean?

I mean I would probably deep dive a little about their relationship. It's interesting to hear two people who are 'married' but not in paper. It showed great trust and love between two people.

 

[Drck]

By asking about BF you kind of put her alarm on. She can easily think that you don't have much confidence. It is like as if you were asking her for permission to talk to her:

1.
You: Do you have a BF?
She: No.
You are thinking: Ok, I have permission to talk to you then.
She: Ok, he can talk to me, but he will always be asking for permissions to do stuff with me. He is not confident

2.
You: Do you have a BF?
She: Yes.
You are thinking: Ok, well, sorry to bother you, permission not granted, I better get lost. Bye.
She: Well, I don't really have a BF or Husband, I really like this guy but gets discouraged so easily... He is not confident, another guy sounds like a threat to him...


It just doesn't look right, she can see that you don't have much confidence. There are other ways to find out whether she is interested or not. For example:


You: I see that you really like XYZ (in the store), why don't you give me your number so we can talk about it? (or invite her directly for a date)

1.
She: Giggles. Ok, why not, here is my number.
You are thinking: Now you know that she is interested, she didn't mention her BF/Husband and you can call her and invite her for date. You can call her even if she is in some relationship because girl in love would never go out with another guy for potential date
She: She is excited about meeting a new guy, she thinks that he has balls because he asked her for a date without worrying about her having a BF. She thinks you are confident, another guy is not a threat to you

2.
She: Sorry, I would really like to but I can't. I'm busy
You are thinking: Ok, now I know that she is not interested, most likely she is going out with some guy. She didn't mention him but she won't go out with me. Next!
She is thinking: I really like this guy but I already have a BF. I hope he gets it, I really wish him well. He's got some balls to ask me out without knowing if I have a BF. I only wish I had a BF with such balls!


--------------------
It is actually much simpler. Just forget the BF/Husband questions. Do this with every girl:

1. Assume attraction: She is cute and sexy, she really likes me, she wants to talk to me
2. Go talk to her. Get her number or invite her out
- If she goes for a date she is interested, you don't have to worry much about her potential BF, he is not too important to her
- If she doesn't go for a date, she is not interested or she already has BF

 

[Raphael]

Hi again,
Mann Drck you kill it bro!
Thank for you answer, It really helped me clarify this in my head. Next time it would be different. Maybe she hadnt really a boyfriend, maybe she was just testing me and i had failed...

Ask for a boyfriend really say out loud " I am not confident"


I am always learning... ahha

Thanks,
Raphael.