Who's Shittier - You or Your Girlfriend?

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Okay, so...

Everyone is pretty much a piece of shit.

What we call society is a competition to see who can either be

1. The biggest piece of shit

2. The least shitty person

Reminds me of an award we had for pledges who finished their pledge season. After they became active fraternity members, we had an award for the "Least Shitty Pledge." Not "The Best Pledge," because all pledges are fucking cucks by nature....no, just the least shitty among them, in terms of personality, coolness, etc.

Same with girls.

She could be in the top 99 percentile of not being a piece of shit, but she's still got some shittiness to her.

What I advise for you, when looking for a girlfriend, is find a girl who is less shitty than you.

She's cheated less, she's lied less, she's not as lazy as you,etc.

Whatever are generally considered unskillful qualities, cruel behaviors, self-destructive behaviors, lack of good will, lack of temper control, etc - she must have less of these than you.

I HOPE that you can get a girl who is in the top 1% of non-shittiness, but that's unlikely for most.

But no matter what level you're playing on, you must be a more horrible person than her.

You must be the "bad guy." The "devil" of the relationship.

If you're not, she's going to think you're a pussy.

That's why it's hard to be in relationships with toxic girls, slutty girls, etc. They all have things about them that are awesome and amazing, and a lot of them are sexy as all fuck, but if you're too good of a person, usually, and if you're better than her, she's going to resent you. And given her past, it's pretty easy to be a better person than her. Not many can rival her behavior.

It's a complicated psychology, but in the end, it comes down to, "You haven't seen the darkness like I have and you're a man, so you're probably a pussy."

She will see you as young, innocent, naive, etc. This is weak. And weakness is disgusting to women, especially broken women.

Of course, we keep toxic women at bay, but in every woman there is shittiness, so they will need you to be worse than they.

Furthermore, there seems to be a lust for darkness in women.

Man is that darkness.

If anyone should be corrupt, it's the man.

ESPECIALLY, in a relationship.

The girl is the one who will "change him" or make him into his ideal vision of himself (or hers?).

This is the game we play. The man seduces the woman and fucks her. Then she tries to lure him into a more stable relationship and form him to her will (and if she's a good woman, then her vision can actually be very healthy for you). But if a man completely bends, he will break.

He must be wild.

Embrace that you are a piece of shit.

It's okay.

It makes you human.

It makes you interesting. It makes you different. It gives you edges that can speak only to your story, your dance with fate, love, life, death, and sex.

As long as you embrace this inner shittiness and accept it (and maybe even sometimes still indulge, you cad), and it is MORE than her shittiness, she will see you as exciting, dangerous, dark, mysterious, complicated, tortured, and intoxicating.

Your shittiness doesn't always have to be toxic either.

One way to be a complete shithead is being a fuckboy. No matter how kind you are, if you fuck lots of girls, you will always have a certain edge with women. They will tease you for your sluttiness, but they secretly love it. They love that you don't give a fuck, deep down, about what anyone says - you will fuck tons of girls.

And even if you are faithful to your girlfriend, she will know that deep down, you're still a savage (if you like to play the "retired player" role...it's not my cup of tea, but it works to an extent).

Generally, you don't want girls with really bad pasts or continuous bad behavior. They're exciting, but I promise if you're more innocent than her, a relationship will not go well.

And even if you are a massive piece of shit with a spotty past, still find a girl who has a healthy level of shittiness. Just because you pass the "I'm worse than you"-test with almost every girl, you still want to find a girl who will serve as your "light of goodness."

If I'm not dating a girl who makes me want to be a better person, who shows me virtuosity and kindness, and who makes me reevaluate my unskillful qualities, then I'm not getting a good deal.

And if she's not dating a guy who makes her feel alive, who makes her feel corruptible, sinful, and human, then she's a light without a darkness to brighten.

Both of you miss out.

So find girls who are less horrible than you are

And, ideally, one day, you can be a virtuous man who USED to be a piece of shit...but now he's...

Not as shitty.

And that gets girls, too. You can have the past to make her think you're a man, and always suspect the beast could come out at anytime (especially in the bedroom), but also the virtue that makes you...

Maybe not so bad.

Hector

P.S.
To be clear, I'm not advocating you try anything dangerous or toxic only to make yourself "hard" or seasoned. There are plenty of legal, healthy activities that can be considered edgy or "shitty" to girls that makes you more dangerous than her (and therefore dangerous enough).

 

[Pitcher]

This is some deep shit. @Hector Papi Castillo what motivated this post?

I’ve put in a lot of work to become a more wild man (somewhat ironic that the journey into my wildness has led to less literal wildness throwing pitches). Girls can see it when they look at me: strong, sinewy, long Jesus hair, a scar below one of my eyes, some beard, an intensity in my eyes. Girls can feel it in my presence: when they’re with me, particularly alone, there is an abiding primal threat lurking, never fully acted upon, but always there.

The other day at a beach with a girl for a 1st meet up we hiked along a path then went off the path, down to the water climbing over rocks to get to a private flat stony area. It was her and I, alone but for the water crashing on the rocks a few yards from us and the silent mussels in the tidal pools. This is a girl who I met through cold approach day game and who had spent all of a few hours with me up until this moment, with only a phone number to contact me by, without any social media to investigate my background at all. Yet there we were, alone, bodies pressed together, physically escalating consensually. In those moments I could have bent her over and taken her whether she wanted it or not. There was a palpable and visceral feeling of wildness in the air as the salty ocean spray filled our senses.

Part of the motivation to control our wild man impulses is fully appreciating the lightness and beauty that is women. The primal threat is always there though. That’s one reason why I have almost zero empathy for guys complaining about dating...as a guy at least you don’t have any risk of being physically overpowered and raped.

No matter how kind you are, if you fuck lots of girls, you will always have a certain edge with women

This is what I’m shooting for. Supreme kindness, wildness, and the enduring abundance of opening the legs and hearts of many women.

As long as you embrace this inner shittiness and accept it (and maybe even sometimes still indulge, you cad), and it is MORE than her shittiness, she will see you as exciting, dangerous, dark, mysterious, complicated, tortured, and intoxicating.

Your shittiness doesn't always have to be toxic either.

IMO this wildness isn’t evil, merely an extension of the neutral forces of nature that can be considered cruel from our moral human perspective. When you intentionally hurt people, that is evil. Nature doesn’t hurt with intention, it simply is. Our wildness is built on this ‘is-ness’. Chimps do some seemingly cruel things, but they aren’t fully sapient. They did not experience Adam‘s fall from grace. Our wildness is below all the faculties of our logical/rational mind. It has to do with the water of our soul. And water always seeks the lowest point.

I suppose every man will take a unique journey into their wildness and their wildness will manifest in ways specific to them. I highly recommend the book Iron John for learning more about the wild side of our masculinity. Becoming more intimate with that aspect of ourselves definitely can be done in wholesome, constructive ways. I strongly agree with the overall sentiment of this post, especially the post script. That’s why there’s a HERO’s journey, not a villain’s journey.

*EDIT* maybe this reply is not super relevant given the relationship theme of the original post.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

This is some deep shit. @Hector Papi Castillo what motivated this post?

I'm pretty much always either in "trolling philosophical mood" or "loving philosophical mood." This post was made during the former state. This is when I like to be absurd, dark, offensive, irreverent, iconoclastic, etc.

I was thinking about some of the women that men date and how it's not just their shittiness that makes them bad girlfriends. It's that the man can't handle her. I feel bad for these guys, cuz they idealize the women, and the women know deep down they're kinda shitty.

A lot of our cruelty to others (or all of it?) is, to some extent, self-hatred.

MO this wildness isn’t evil, merely an extension of the neutral forces of nature that can be considered cruel from our moral human perspective. When you intentional hurt people, that is evil. Nature doesn’t hurt with intention, it simply is. Our wildness is built on this ‘is-ness’. Chimps do some seemingly cruel things, but they aren’t fully sapient. They did not experience Adam‘s fall from grace. Our wildness is below all the faculties of our logical/rational mind. It has to do with the water of our soul. And water always seeks the lowest point.

You're right, it's not. I think Freud was onto something when talked about sex and aggression being prime motivators. They come from a similar place. When you're fucking a girl right, it feels like you're damn near killing her. AND SHE ENJOYS IT.

So it's not shittiness or evil. It's just energy being focused in a certain way.

The only evil is ignorance.

Hector

 

[M_Ronin]

This is also something I have seen in Iron John, Hero's Journey and J Peterson's lectures. When we go out into danger, the danger hurts us. Wounds us. When we are wounded, we develop ourselves to not let that happen again. It motivates us. Think of all the high avhievers, committed body builders, narcissists... Hell! All psychotic disorders. They are all about control. That motivation to increase our level of control comes from tragedy.

As men, we are more capable to face that tragedy. It is our role. When there is danger, Man confronts it and woman takes the child away. It is basic survival.

In J.P's lectures, he talks about developing our inner monster, understanding the human suffering and integrating our shadow. Knowing how much cruelty has happened in this world and understanding both the perspectives of victim and perpetrator gives you a transcendence over it. After going through it, you know you can do it. But you don't feel the need to (unless you need to *evil grin). It gives you power and control over it. Now you're not some victim that can uncontrollably turn into a tyrant when given power. Now you are both the victim and tyrant, if that makes sense to you. You are now the thing that is between, the wise ruler.

I have listened to the story of my great grandfather just this morning. His is the story of power, envy, marriage and weakness. My great grandfather was the man who founded a village, then naturally he became a ruler of it. He had a wife, but she was unable to give birth. So she urged him to have a second wife, as long as he doesnt pay her a visit at nights and she manages the household. So he took a second wife, 20 years younger than the first wife. The older managed the household with an iron fist. She also held power and control over the second wife, acting like a mistress to her. Naturally there was tension between. She obviously wanted some amount of control herself. Now, women in the village preferred to wear a particular style of skirt, very eastern in style. No one had any qualms about this, except for the young wife. For some reason she didnt like the skirt. To win over and perhaps to impress his young wife, my great grandfather decided to ban this choice of clothing. He even went out of his way to order the sewing of new skirts and distributed them to the villagefolk. Anyone who didnt obey this rule, possibly got punished. One of the villagewoman was so attached to her dress, she didnt even leave her house for a few months. This is a very soft example, but it proves the point of human dynamics.

Now my take on this, my great grandfather was a bit of a simp. He was rugged in the traditional area but a weakling in the courtship area (his times). His weakling nature in courtship area, also made him a tyrant in another area. But if he was raised like us, grinding our way through hundreds of approaches, facing rejection after rejection... THEN overcoming it; would he really not be able to manage his wives better? Or if he lived under a tyrant with whimsical rules, would he be so quick to enforce such a stupid law? It is Hero's Journey that makes us humble to know the lows, and arrogant to know we can pull through such lows.

I think THAT is what you mean. Not necessarily doing evil, but knowing evil.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Biggest takeaway from GC:

Im a piece of shit... and Im proud

 

[unnuuu]

What kind of relationships are you talking about? Fuck buddy relationships?

I am gonna bet that the top reasons for girls breaking up with guys are that he is either shitty or a pussy. Don't be either unless you like drama.

I think the foundation in a relationship should be that the girl feels like you are above her league, like she can't believe her luck to have found a guy like you. Then let the girl know you don't tolerate bullshit. After that chances are high that she we will be a very good girl towards you, despite having been bad in the past.

So it is not so much about finding a good girl, but more about making her respect you and be scared of pissing you off. Because there is usually a sweet girl behind every "bitch".

You may wanna define what you mean with "shitty" though, cause I could misunderstand you.