Why Do Girls Give You Blowjobs But Won't Let You Fuck?

[TomInHo]

Today I was playing back, in my head, some of the escalations that I botched and it got me thinking... Why will a girl give you a blowjob but never let you fuck?

It makes no sense to me, because if she is willing to give you pleasure, why wouldn't she want you to please her with your salami? It's weird because I understand and don't at the same time.

Would love some more input

 

[Just a Man]

Curiously enough, over on a different thread a few minutes ago, I was just recalling a very Christian gf from a very long time ago. She wouldn't have PIV because she wanted to say she was getting married as a virgin, but she was happy to do loads of other stuff, including blowjobs. I think that's quite common with religious girls.

Avoiding pregnancy is another reason girls do it.

 

[Alpha13SC]

She is horny enough to please you, but the act itself is too important for her and she restrain herself. One that I ve heard is "I don t want anymore to do sex if we we ll not date seriously. Had too many partners. " then I made her more horny and insert dick in her mouth.

Just like ones who see oral sex more intimate than the sex itself and restrain that if she s not seriously dating. Met that as well. Of course, didn't last.

 

[StrayDog]

Vaginal intercourse comes with way more consequences. It also creates way deeper of a chemical bond. Being fucked is inherently more vulnerable for a women. Her giving you pleasure is way less of a risk both physically and emotionally than you giving her pleasure. If she is pleasuring you she is still somewhat in control of her self. You fuck her and fuck her good, she can loose control of herself. She'll be all flooded with feel chemicals and will have to deal with that reality. If she just blows you she can easily back away from the whole scene less effected on a personal level

 

[Gaturro]

I’ve only had this happen with:
a. A few unexperienced girls
b. A girl who was fucking an old guy for rent, and I was taking turns with a friend for her to blow us
c. A girl who hadn’t shaved her pussy, and we were in her kitchen while her sister was sleeping in their bedroom
d. A girl who was in my car in a shopping mall parking lot, so it was more risky to be jumping than to be leaning
e. A fat girl, i don’t know about this one. I think she was on her days but i don’t really know. She had an onlyfans account but was worse looking in real life

So it kinda was due to logistics, maybe inexperience too, but mostly logistics

With good logistics, lots of girls wouldn’t fuck but give me handjobs. But just blowjobs and good logistics is weird for me, usually if they’re horny enough to blow they’re horny enough to fuck haha

As for the handjobs, I guess it was because they weren’t so horny, and it’s really easy to just move their hand… but blowjobs for some girls is even more work than piv sex, so I haven’t had that happen much. If they blow it’s almost guaranteed that they’ll fuck for me

 

[TomInHo]

Vaginal intercourse comes with way more consequences. It also creates way deeper of a chemical bond. Being fucked is inherently more vulnerable for a women. Her giving you pleasure is way less of a risk both physically and emotionally than you giving her pleasure. If she is pleasuring you she is still somewhat in control of her self. You fuck her and fuck her good, she can loose control of herself. She'll be all flooded with feel chemicals and will have to deal with that reality. If she just blows you she can easily back away from the whole scene less effected on a personal level

I see what you're getting at. But imo opinion blowjobs are a sign of submission. So when girls give them but won't go all the way, it gives me the impression that they find you sexually attractive, but something is holding them back from going all the way

She is horny enough to please you, but the act itself is too important for her and she restrain herself. One that I ve heard is "I don t want anymore to do sex if we we ll not date seriously. Had too many partners. " then I made her more horny and insert dick in her mouth.

Just like ones who see oral sex more intimate than the sex itself and restrain that if she s not seriously dating. Met that as well. Of course, didn't last.

I was thinking along those lines too. Like the girl might see you as a boyfriend and is worried that full intercourse will make you rule her out of the GF category. Like a more sexualized form of ASD

I’ve only had this happen with:
a. A few unexperienced girls
b. A girl who was fucking an old guy for rent, and I was taking turns with a friend for her to blow us
c. A girl who hadn’t shaved her pussy, and we were in her kitchen while her sister was sleeping in their bedroom
d. A girl who was in my car in a shopping mall parking lot, so it was more risky to be jumping than to be leaning
e. A fat girl, i don’t know about this one. I think she was on her days but i don’t really know. She had an onlyfans account but was worse looking in real life

I've experienced all the above expect for (b.)... That's interesting because in a way she was sexually loyal to the old man, but I'm sure he wouldn't see it the same way if he found out.. Girls are so funny it's ridiculous

Also experienced (e.) because you know a man got needs, and a wet mouth is better than my hand any day. Come to think about it, the fact that I would let a fat girl suck me, but I won't fuck her, makes me wonder if they're women out in the world creating threads about...

"Why would he let me suck his dick but won't actually fuck me?"

Guess us guys are complicated too

 

[Just a Man]

But imo opinion blowjobs are a sign of submission.

Very much depends on the blowjob, IMO. Yes, on the face of it, it seems to be a submissive act. But if it's a prolonged edging blowjob, then it's a dominant act of T&D, possibly with bondage added.

Equally, is cunnilingus a "sign of submission"? Not when she's begging to come and you keep her on the edge.

Oral can be some of the best power-exchange play there is.

 

[Skills]

Today I was playing back, in my head, some of the escalations that I botched and it got me thinking... Why will a girl give you a blowjob but never let you fuck?

It makes no sense to me, because if she is willing to give you pleasure, why wouldn't she want you to please her with your salami? It's weird because I understand and don't at the same time.

Would love some more input

Very simple cause they don't want to fuck you...She is not ready to fuck you yet..

 

[TomInHo]

Very simple cause they don't want to fuck you...She is not ready to fuck you yet..

That's fair, but why give a blowjob then? Especially when you didn't ask for one?

 

[Skills]

That's fair, but why give a blowjob then? Especially when you didn't ask for one?

again because she is into you, just not ready to fuck you yet...

 

[Will_V]

Today I was playing back, in my head, some of the escalations that I botched and it got me thinking... Why will a girl give you a blowjob but never let you fuck?

It makes no sense to me, because if she is willing to give you pleasure, why wouldn't she want you to please her with your salami? It's weird because I understand and don't at the same time.

Would love some more input

As much as blowjobs look submissive they are nowhere near as submissive as getting penetrated. For one thing, she is in control - even though her mouth is 'getting penetrated' she's really the one taking action while you are passive. She can increase or decrease your pleasure, she is pushing your buttons, you're sitting/lying there and she's moving. Since her pussy is her prize and safe out of the equation she can give blowjobs with virtually no emotional investment. All this makes it easier for her to accept when she's attracted and aroused but not fully bought in.

Girls are all different though, and two of them can see sex vs blowjobs in completely different ways. I had a girl once who was apparently Christian when I met her who eventually gave in to sex, but wouldn't blow. Who knows, maybe for her the tongue was special. People's experiences and perceptions are shaped in many ways.

 

[Police dog]

A bit late to the party, so sorry for necroposting but I do have couple interesting things to share about the topic. As straydog correctly noticed vaginal intercourse does mean a lot to women since Mother Nature doesn’t have abortions or contraception. The first girl I ever happened to date was my classmate from senior year of high school, she sucked me like fucking vacuum cleaner and we had anal almost every day but guess what it took almost A YEAR before she finally agreed to vaginal sex. Moreover, I happen to know another girl who was like that since she was 14, sucked bunch of dudes yet had her first sex when she was sophomore in college. So this is not as uncommon as you might think and chances are it has nothing to do with you. After all, bj are better anyways, would gladly ditch regular sex in favor of it any day now, lol.

 

[Chase]

@TomInHo,

Have you had many of these? First thing I'd wonder is what escalation process you were following.

I have only rarely run into these... a girl who is really resisting, telling me things like, "I can give you a blowjob if you want"... every time that has happened it's been when the escalation was too rushed and the girl was not properly aroused.

The few times I've gotten it I've read it as "she's just trying to be nice, or maybe she wants to defuse this situation that's gotten more sexual than she wants it; but either way I botched the escalation."

My escalation is laser-focused on the pussy though; as soon as I can, my knee is on her pussy, then hand is on her pussy, then hand is down her pants, panties are off, etc. Usually while I'm still fully dressed. By the time my dick even crosses her mind it's because she wants it in her.

If you're escalating some other way, maybe your dick is more front-and-center for her before she's properly warmed up? If so, possible she could be thinking, "Wow, his penis really needs attention, but my pussy isn't in the mood for that. Maybe I can just suck him off."

In which case, if you want to avoid it... perhaps try switching to a pussy-centric escalation instead of a penis-centric one.

(if that advice applies. Maybe it doesn't. It's an interesting thread! I'm curious to see what other responses you get...)

Chase

 

[Calibration]

@TomInHo,

Have you had many of these? First thing I'd wonder is what escalation process you were following.

I have only rarely run into these... a girl who is really resisting, telling me things like, "I can give you a blowjob if you want"... every time that has happened it's been when the escalation was too rushed and the girl was not properly aroused.

The few times I've gotten it I've read it as "she's just trying to be nice, or maybe she wants to defuse this situation that's gotten more sexual than she wants it; but either way I botched the escalation."

My escalation is laser-focused on the pussy though; as soon as I can, my knee is on her pussy, then hand is on her pussy, then hand is down her pants, panties are off, etc. Usually while I'm still fully dressed. By the time my dick even crosses her mind it's because she wants it in her.

If you're escalating some other way, maybe your dick is more front-and-center for her before she's properly warmed up? If so, possible she could be thinking, "Wow, his penis really needs attention, but my pussy isn't in the mood for that. Maybe I can just suck him off."

In which case, if you want to avoid it... perhaps try switching to a pussy-centric escalation instead of a penis-centric one.

(if that advice applies. Maybe it doesn't. It's an interesting thread! I'm curious to see what other responses you get...)

Chase

Pussy-centric escalation - I hadn't thought about it but looking back to my successful seductions, I inadvertently made it pussy-centric and it was a lot smoother.

When I'm with a hot chick, my dick needs time to relax around her. So, to avoid shooting quickly, I don't let her touch it until it's comfortable enough to be touched. Until then, I focus on her pussy - eating out or fingering. If she tries to grab my dick, I'll say nah nah nah.. not yet.. you won't get it so easily.

A few chics have teased me saying you're just shy. I say, yes I'm super shy and continue to escalate on her. This also teases her a lot and makes her even more aroused cos most guys want to fuck as soon as he can and avoiding it makes her try harder.

Once you've eaten her out very well and she's super-aroused, it's very rare she'll resist after that.

In fact, that's when you hear the golden words - "Do you have a condom?"

 

[Old man winter]

Maybe she's just hungry, and not horny. Bring a salty, sticky snack next time. Many animals have mating rituals involving food offerings.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself

 

[Kaida]

@TomInHo,

Have you had many of these? First thing I'd wonder is what escalation process you were following.

I have only rarely run into these... a girl who is really resisting, telling me things like, "I can give you a blowjob if you want"... every time that has happened it's been when the escalation was too rushed and the girl was not properly aroused.

The few times I've gotten it I've read it as "she's just trying to be nice, or maybe she wants to defuse this situation that's gotten more sexual than she wants it; but either way I botched the escalation."

My escalation is laser-focused on the pussy though; as soon as I can, my knee is on her pussy, then hand is on her pussy, then hand is down her pants, panties are off, etc. Usually while I'm still fully dressed. By the time my dick even crosses her mind it's because she wants it in her.

If you're escalating some other way, maybe your dick is more front-and-center for her before she's properly warmed up? If so, possible she could be thinking, "Wow, his penis really needs attention, but my pussy isn't in the mood for that. Maybe I can just suck him off."

In which case, if you want to avoid it... perhaps try switching to a pussy-centric escalation instead of a penis-centric one.

(if that advice applies. Maybe it doesn't. It's an interesting thread! I'm curious to see what other responses you get...)

Chase

Pussy-centric escalation is a great concept, I think that may be article worthy.

My last lay was mostly me trying to pull my dick out as soon as possible without resistance.

If I had read an article on that previously I would have for sure done a more pussy-centric style

 

[Skills]

Again i personally think based on my experiences is that she already is a hard no on sex, but does not want to completely lose the dude and give him teaser with the goal of seeing him again and not lose him completely... the main problem with pussy centric escalation is she wont allow it in @TomInHo case, he is more of experience 1% type dude pretty profitient...

 

[ELe7en]

Pussy-centric escalation is a great concept, I think that may be article worthy.

My last lay was mostly me trying to pull my dick out as soon as possible without resistance.

If I had read an article on that previously I would have for sure done a more pussy-centric style

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The easiest way to escalate to sex with a woman is to start fingering her… and then just never stop until your member's inside her. There's this magical little love button every woman's got. It's called the clitoris. Most guys figure out that when they rub this magical love button, women get...

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[TomInHo]

Damn guys this post is old AF!! But it all makes sense now

Have you had many of these? First thing I'd wonder is what escalation process you were following.

It doesn't happen very often honestly. Very rare but I will get to the escalation part in a few

My escalation is laser-focused on the pussy though; as soon as I can, my knee is on her pussy, then hand is on her pussy, then hand is down her pants, panties are off, etc. Usually while I'm still fully dressed. By the time my dick even crosses her mind it's because she wants it in her.

This may sound strange but I completely avoid touching their pussy until the very end, but I'll get to that later ...

If you're escalating some other way, maybe your dick is more front-and-center for her before she's properly warmed up? If so, possible she could be thinking, "Wow, his penis really needs attention, but my pussy isn't in the mood for that. Maybe I can just suck him off."

In which case, if you want to avoid it... perhaps try switching to a pussy-centric escalation instead of a penis-centric one.

(if that advice applies. Maybe it doesn't. It's an interesting thread! I'm curious to see what other responses you get...)

Chase

Okay so usually when I escalate girls fall into 3 camps...

1) They escalate on me. Sometimes I would be talking or just staring at them then they lunge in and tear both our clothes off

2) They sit with me talking then I create an It's On Moment and kiss them and fractionate my escalation paying close attention to their rhythm. Usually we get to fucking within 2-5 minutes from kissing

3) Lastly some girls just get way too nervous and it seems hard to get them to behave like the previous 2. So what I do is build a compliance ladder until they are giving me a massage then I return the favor and escalate it all the way to sex.... Touching and massaging everywhere except the pussy until the last moment

But the real reason why this girls gave me BJs and not sex wasn't because of my escalation or arousal. It was because of the poor frames I set prior

@Skills taught me about 2nd Gen Verbals last year and after I started using it, my escalation has been smooth like butter. I honestly can't remember the last time I got LMR.... it's that powerful

And one of the frames that helped me a ton was "Anti Pump & Dump".... Escalations I botched in previous years were actually because girls saw value in me but were hesitant about sex and potentially losing me by giving it up too easy

But when I started doing 2nd Gen all those worries seemed to have disappeared and majority of my lays now are girls in group 1 and a few in group 3 just because they are nervous and that style of escalations seems to ease their concerns

Thanks guys for all the insightful feedback