Why do we feel a special bond towards some and not others?

[DarkKnight]

To this day I am puzzled about the concept of fascination. On paper a chick can be average and you can be fascinated with her while other guys won't give her a second look. And then you have those chicks who keep coming back obviously fascinated by you. Feeling a special bond for some reason. I have never figured this out, and to be honest I am not sure if it is just fundamentals either. Anyone have a good explanation? These things don't seem to really change either by things you or others do. It just is.

 

[FunkMaster69]

To this day I am puzzled about the concept of fascination. On paper a chick can be average and you can be fascinated with her while other guys won't give her a second look. And then you have those chicks who keep coming back obviously fascinated by you. Feeling a special bond for some reason. I have never figured this out, and to be honest I am not sure if it is just fundamentals either. Anyone have a good explanation? These things don't seem to really change either by things you or others do. It just is.

In one word, CHEMISTRY. With some people you just have it, and with others you just don't.

2 explanations. One the person you've met is pretty much logically everything that you want, and it's your brains way of saying "don't fuck this up." Sad thing is that this can be one sided. The first girl I ever dated was a solid 12. She played sports, was popular, and was just kind. I really liked her. Me on the other hand, I hardly worked out, was broke, and a skinny little virgin who smoked a lot. What did I bring to the table? Just my confidence tbh. I could see why she moved on and I still sometimes think about her. Because if today you ask me what I want in a women, it would be a popular, kind athlete. Those feelings were my brain's way of saying don't fuck it up. She probably had a different list, and probably wanted the prom king type. Her head must have been saying, hey this guy is great and all, but do I really wanna date a skinny little virgin who constantly smokes? Wouldn't be better to just date someone on the football team?

second explanation: God has a plan for everybody and there's no other explanation, other than the fact that someone of a higher power decided to place these feelings in you and make you like her. Love isn't something that's created, it's something that is found.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Okay thanks @DarkKnight because this is a very good thread to kick off my ideas.

I am very sure PUA has given me two things in my existence;

- I approach situations differently

- I connect differently

There are ten different opinions on how these factors co aguilate, I have read them all. They will point to natural pair bonding, genetics, traits, different personalities, approaches, smell, looks, social perceptions. The list goes on, I’m serious I can find every excuse in the book.


Your tripe in particular focuses on peacocking, which isn’t an extinct concept of PUA. I won’t get into discussions on how the rich can not own anything that takes maintenance *[women and classic cars in particular] but I will mention this much.

There is a limiter that people do not realize or understand. The very gigantic difference me and the existence has is that the avErage man, is most men are here in existence to play limbo, I’m here to go past my potential and go further beyond.

Imagine I could take you beyond anything and then you will see why women love men like you and I

 

[D. Gately]

I think it's definitely chemistry. I even think body chemistry/smell/genetics may play a big role. And I think both parties have to feel 'compatible' and not just in bed.

But why we have it with some and not others? I've thought about that a lot. Pre-bang, we talk about having a 'crush' on someone and that goes both ways, we've all been there.

In europe, they talk about being 'cunt-struck' with a girl post-bang, instead of love-struck since you're not in love. But you feel this certain...je ne sais quoi....with that girl. You enjoy being around her even when you're not banging, even though you want to bang her noon and night and so does she.

I was nailing this sexy, sorority athlete for around 6-7 months some years ago and I still think about her at times, and I'm the one that ended things. It started as a massive crush on both sides, then moved into dating. We definitely had a major bond, we stayed in touch for a few years after she'd moved away, even hung out a couple times in different cities although we were both in new relationships. Usually I can't stand to be with a woman after I've dumped her and have no interest if she's dumped me [unless it's straight come over & bang, +she's really hot].

Why was this one different? I have no explanation. She wasn't the hottest nor the prettiest nor the tallest nor the kinkiest nor the most fashionable nor the most feminine -- she had great sex appeal and talent, but I've had other girls like that I forgot about real fast. Lot of girls give good head.

So...maybe it's just 'chemistry,' after all. If I knew the answer I'd write a book.