- Joined
- Jan 2, 2013
- Messages
- 100
So I finally asked out the girl at work who I've been pursuing for awhile. Her attraction has been clear: getting nervous around me, avoiding eye contact and playing with her hair when talking, looking at me over her shoulder almost every time I was near, laughing at all my jokes. I asked her if she'd like to have a drink with me. She said that she was hesitant about going out with someone she worked with (even though we're in different departments). I reminded her that the school year would be ending (she's a teacher) and that if she was interested, she could message me. I then went to the whiteboard and wrote my number on it and told her to think about it. She did her nervous laugh and said "Okay."
The following week, I have to interview her for an assignment, and she makes her friend stick around during it. She does her nervous, goofy thing while I ask her questions, and when I'm wrapping up, her friend asks me if I'd like to go out with the two of them, hinting that she would most likely be busy and it would just be me and her. I play along, say sure, her friend says she'll let me know when "they" go out. The girl continues giving me strong signals but won't initiate anything.
So on her final week of working, I decide to try to see her and invite her out again since we won't technically be working together. Being the last week, she is super busy and I can't get any alone time with her. I try twice to set up a meeting time when she's free in her room, but she seems cagey. I find out from her friend that she's moving (though not very far it turns out, like thirty minutes away). The next day, she sends me an email saying that it would be better if we didn't talk because her priorities aren't to start a relationship now. Being cool about it, I write her a little good luck note (with my number in there again) and give it to her.
I've been looking back on our interactions and realizing that this girl has probably liked me for months. I even have conclusive proof of her attraction (during a work video shoot, I caught some footage of her and her friend talking about me, and I can read lips). Her final week, she seemed to be getting emotional around me. I first thought it was her getting frustrated that I wasn't making another move, but now I think its because she knew she was leaving. Her reluctance to even meet and her email both suggest that she was trying to push me away. On her last day, after the message exchanges, she still kept giving me glances, albeit more emotional ones.
This all happened over three weeks at work. In between, I've been talking to other girls, so this isn't an abundance issue. My issue is, after each of us proving our attractions to one another, she still can't allow herself to have a drink with me. She has a rough history (a failed engagement and two quick relationships right after), but I'm dumbfounded as to why she would sabotage herself like this. I don't feel rejected, I feel like she is rejecting herself. I see this all the time in people (not going after what you want, being afraid when you get it), but I see it in girls a lot. My sister jokes, men sabotage relationships accidentally, women sabotage them purposefully.
Why do girls do this? And do you think a girl this self deprecating would even try to contact me in the future?
The following week, I have to interview her for an assignment, and she makes her friend stick around during it. She does her nervous, goofy thing while I ask her questions, and when I'm wrapping up, her friend asks me if I'd like to go out with the two of them, hinting that she would most likely be busy and it would just be me and her. I play along, say sure, her friend says she'll let me know when "they" go out. The girl continues giving me strong signals but won't initiate anything.
So on her final week of working, I decide to try to see her and invite her out again since we won't technically be working together. Being the last week, she is super busy and I can't get any alone time with her. I try twice to set up a meeting time when she's free in her room, but she seems cagey. I find out from her friend that she's moving (though not very far it turns out, like thirty minutes away). The next day, she sends me an email saying that it would be better if we didn't talk because her priorities aren't to start a relationship now. Being cool about it, I write her a little good luck note (with my number in there again) and give it to her.
I've been looking back on our interactions and realizing that this girl has probably liked me for months. I even have conclusive proof of her attraction (during a work video shoot, I caught some footage of her and her friend talking about me, and I can read lips). Her final week, she seemed to be getting emotional around me. I first thought it was her getting frustrated that I wasn't making another move, but now I think its because she knew she was leaving. Her reluctance to even meet and her email both suggest that she was trying to push me away. On her last day, after the message exchanges, she still kept giving me glances, albeit more emotional ones.
This all happened over three weeks at work. In between, I've been talking to other girls, so this isn't an abundance issue. My issue is, after each of us proving our attractions to one another, she still can't allow herself to have a drink with me. She has a rough history (a failed engagement and two quick relationships right after), but I'm dumbfounded as to why she would sabotage herself like this. I don't feel rejected, I feel like she is rejecting herself. I see this all the time in people (not going after what you want, being afraid when you get it), but I see it in girls a lot. My sister jokes, men sabotage relationships accidentally, women sabotage them purposefully.
Why do girls do this? And do you think a girl this self deprecating would even try to contact me in the future?