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- Mar 28, 2021
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This is a think piece on dominance in the world and the subsets of people who get dominated, it also touches on dominant people and how they often course freely.
Why is a large majority of the world so confrontation averse?
People will bow out or move out of the way of an erratic man 100 times before they stand their ground or ignore them.
They’ll let themselves be subject to harassment or will go to great lengths to avoid a situation that may end up with them being harrassed.
They’ll allow someone else to be harassed if it means it won’t end in their own harassment.
I’ve seen it time and time again, a male teacher allowing an aggressive student to control the classroom.
An erratic man controlling a crowd in public.
People being overly complementary to complete strangers who’ve done nothing to deserve it.
A reckless driver creating a fourth lane on the interstate while all of the cars move out of their way.
A guy acting meek or aversive when a stranger talks to his s/o.
This does not only apply to “bully” like behavior.
Even someone with an inkling of dominance, or social finesse; when used properly, can get their way in alot of situations that involves mostly complete strangers who owe nothing to the person in question.
This invokes a “free pass” response where if the other person accepts your frame they’ll generally go along with whatever it is you’re trying to elicit.
I’ve also noticed that there are three types of responses to these people who are selfish to their own desires or who wish to dominate other people.
First theres the more meek or “cowardly” rationalization where the subject to this “domination” wants to consciously steer clear of confrontation. The “I don’t want any trouble” rationalization if you will. These people will often protect their ego with thoughts of “that guy’s an asshole”, or “what a jerk”
These are the people who consciously let themselves be pushed around or who supplicate in an attempt to please, be polite, or avoid conflict
Second is the more nonchalant response. These are the people who allow themselves to be dominated because it is not viewed as a huge opposition on them in which they need to react.
They’ll often ignore or feign not noticing while the opposing party continues their aggressive behavior. Their ego protection often involves condescending down on the opposer as an inferior, or “look at this guy”, “weirdo”, etc.
Third is when a person takes an aggressive stance themselves. They’ll often call the person out, stand their ground, or get physical, verbally challenging, etc.
These are often the people who tend to be dominant themselves and are overly aware of domination. Their ego protection is, “who does this person think they are?”, “do i look like a pushover”, etc.
I’d like to think that the aggressive types are in the minority and that a large majority of people fall into one or two.
A fourth factor would be authority figures who hold themselves accountable and would fall into the third category.
My personal estimate would be 40% of people are aversive, 40% are nonchalant and 20% aggressive including authority, maybe less.
But regardless a domineering person is more likely to get their way on a day to day basis until they run into another confrontational person. In which depending on who’s more dominant they could very well win that battle as well.
And it doesn’t have to even be bully like or jerk like behaviors. Someone who’s socially dominant could course along just as freely.
I hold no stance on what is right or what is wrong but I do know that the more dominating person is getting their way regardless of what the other person thinks so they are technically “winning”.
It’s like winning a game and someone accuses you of not playing fair. You still “won”.
I’m not writing this to promote being a domineering idiot who steamrolls everyone. It’s just an observation that i’ve come to find oddly true.
If you were to ask me why this is so I couldn’t even tell you.
I’ve seen little guys walk over big guys, girls walk over guys, girls walk over other girls, employees walk over bosses, students walk over teachers, kids walk over parents.
It’s an interesting thing to see and as we know girls find dominance attractive but so many guys are afraid to be dominant themselves.
I don’t even think it’s an issue of testosterone.
If anything I think it’s more an issue of empathy. Either you have too much or too little. Maybe these aggressives are psychopaths or narcissists but that would be more extreme.
It could also be environment. Growing up in a dangerous place I noticed alot more of the general population was aggressive. But it was more brash bully like domineering, than social finesse.
When I moved to a nice area I noticed alot of people were more polite, which I guess the terminology “polite society” roots from.
It also depends on the type of domination being inflicted. Like when there’s not enough food to go around it’ll make a person less empathetic to another’s stomach.
Have you ever seen two homeless men fight for food? Imagine that but with you and your co worker at the potluck fighting over the last doughnut, it just doesn’t happen.
I also think this is why crime is so high in these areas, because the average person is so aggressive it is a battle of who can be the most dominant.
The only time you’ll see a majority of guy’s being domineering even in polite society is when women are involved which is another form of scarcity.
At the end of the day a low empathy “dominant” person could get their way with no trouble (avoiding those authority figures or obvious third class “aggressive” types who carry themselves dominantly), 9 times out of 10.
This is a more extreme observation and obviously we can’t look at every small inconvenience on your person as a “domination”, that’d just be down right insecure.
But when a person is actively trying to dominate this observation absolutely holds true.
I don’t think this is something an everyday person would think about unless they studied up on the social arts, or live in an aggressive dangerous environment.
I think most people are fine because they don't get dominated often because so few people are dominating. There are mostly polite people being polite to other polite people.
To wrap this up I believe it’s safe to say that a majority of the population is non dominating, with a small percentage being dominant.
Excluding those high poverty, high crime rate areas.
An overly domineering idiot is bound to get caught up or thrown in jail eventually, but I see no serious repercussions for a person who conducts themselves with SOCIAL dominance.
Because social dominance doesn’t leave that nasty taste in other’s mouths, even for an aggressive.
My personal suggestion is learning how to finesse socially in most situations with class and elegance. It’s dominant and you won’t “lose” often because, it doesn’t trigger the other persons ego so people will more or less go along with what you say.
Once you’re pass that initial resistance they don’t feel as though they've been dominated at all.
It doesn’t cause that muted resentment that stockpiles over time, and more or less preserves your reputation and people hold you in higher esteem.
And for our personal wants we all know that women LIKE dominance even when it comes off rude or jerk like.
Why is a large majority of the world so confrontation averse?
People will bow out or move out of the way of an erratic man 100 times before they stand their ground or ignore them.
They’ll let themselves be subject to harassment or will go to great lengths to avoid a situation that may end up with them being harrassed.
They’ll allow someone else to be harassed if it means it won’t end in their own harassment.
I’ve seen it time and time again, a male teacher allowing an aggressive student to control the classroom.
An erratic man controlling a crowd in public.
People being overly complementary to complete strangers who’ve done nothing to deserve it.
A reckless driver creating a fourth lane on the interstate while all of the cars move out of their way.
A guy acting meek or aversive when a stranger talks to his s/o.
This does not only apply to “bully” like behavior.
Even someone with an inkling of dominance, or social finesse; when used properly, can get their way in alot of situations that involves mostly complete strangers who owe nothing to the person in question.
This invokes a “free pass” response where if the other person accepts your frame they’ll generally go along with whatever it is you’re trying to elicit.
I’ve also noticed that there are three types of responses to these people who are selfish to their own desires or who wish to dominate other people.
First theres the more meek or “cowardly” rationalization where the subject to this “domination” wants to consciously steer clear of confrontation. The “I don’t want any trouble” rationalization if you will. These people will often protect their ego with thoughts of “that guy’s an asshole”, or “what a jerk”
These are the people who consciously let themselves be pushed around or who supplicate in an attempt to please, be polite, or avoid conflict
Second is the more nonchalant response. These are the people who allow themselves to be dominated because it is not viewed as a huge opposition on them in which they need to react.
They’ll often ignore or feign not noticing while the opposing party continues their aggressive behavior. Their ego protection often involves condescending down on the opposer as an inferior, or “look at this guy”, “weirdo”, etc.
Third is when a person takes an aggressive stance themselves. They’ll often call the person out, stand their ground, or get physical, verbally challenging, etc.
These are often the people who tend to be dominant themselves and are overly aware of domination. Their ego protection is, “who does this person think they are?”, “do i look like a pushover”, etc.
I’d like to think that the aggressive types are in the minority and that a large majority of people fall into one or two.
A fourth factor would be authority figures who hold themselves accountable and would fall into the third category.
My personal estimate would be 40% of people are aversive, 40% are nonchalant and 20% aggressive including authority, maybe less.
But regardless a domineering person is more likely to get their way on a day to day basis until they run into another confrontational person. In which depending on who’s more dominant they could very well win that battle as well.
And it doesn’t have to even be bully like or jerk like behaviors. Someone who’s socially dominant could course along just as freely.
I hold no stance on what is right or what is wrong but I do know that the more dominating person is getting their way regardless of what the other person thinks so they are technically “winning”.
It’s like winning a game and someone accuses you of not playing fair. You still “won”.
I’m not writing this to promote being a domineering idiot who steamrolls everyone. It’s just an observation that i’ve come to find oddly true.
If you were to ask me why this is so I couldn’t even tell you.
I’ve seen little guys walk over big guys, girls walk over guys, girls walk over other girls, employees walk over bosses, students walk over teachers, kids walk over parents.
It’s an interesting thing to see and as we know girls find dominance attractive but so many guys are afraid to be dominant themselves.
I don’t even think it’s an issue of testosterone.
If anything I think it’s more an issue of empathy. Either you have too much or too little. Maybe these aggressives are psychopaths or narcissists but that would be more extreme.
It could also be environment. Growing up in a dangerous place I noticed alot more of the general population was aggressive. But it was more brash bully like domineering, than social finesse.
When I moved to a nice area I noticed alot of people were more polite, which I guess the terminology “polite society” roots from.
It also depends on the type of domination being inflicted. Like when there’s not enough food to go around it’ll make a person less empathetic to another’s stomach.
Have you ever seen two homeless men fight for food? Imagine that but with you and your co worker at the potluck fighting over the last doughnut, it just doesn’t happen.
I also think this is why crime is so high in these areas, because the average person is so aggressive it is a battle of who can be the most dominant.
The only time you’ll see a majority of guy’s being domineering even in polite society is when women are involved which is another form of scarcity.
At the end of the day a low empathy “dominant” person could get their way with no trouble (avoiding those authority figures or obvious third class “aggressive” types who carry themselves dominantly), 9 times out of 10.
This is a more extreme observation and obviously we can’t look at every small inconvenience on your person as a “domination”, that’d just be down right insecure.
But when a person is actively trying to dominate this observation absolutely holds true.
I don’t think this is something an everyday person would think about unless they studied up on the social arts, or live in an aggressive dangerous environment.
I think most people are fine because they don't get dominated often because so few people are dominating. There are mostly polite people being polite to other polite people.
To wrap this up I believe it’s safe to say that a majority of the population is non dominating, with a small percentage being dominant.
Excluding those high poverty, high crime rate areas.
An overly domineering idiot is bound to get caught up or thrown in jail eventually, but I see no serious repercussions for a person who conducts themselves with SOCIAL dominance.
Because social dominance doesn’t leave that nasty taste in other’s mouths, even for an aggressive.
My personal suggestion is learning how to finesse socially in most situations with class and elegance. It’s dominant and you won’t “lose” often because, it doesn’t trigger the other persons ego so people will more or less go along with what you say.
Once you’re pass that initial resistance they don’t feel as though they've been dominated at all.
It doesn’t cause that muted resentment that stockpiles over time, and more or less preserves your reputation and people hold you in higher esteem.
And for our personal wants we all know that women LIKE dominance even when it comes off rude or jerk like.
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