Why guys of "unsexy" minority groups have issues with their race & fixing it.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

As a Korean guy, I thought that the whole "I can't get girls because of my race" thing was limited to just the PUA community and only a small amount of Asian and brown guys really felt that way. You can tell by my name that a PUA named DJ Fuji more or less capitalized on this sort of thing to market his brand to Asian men out there struggling with women.

I went through it myself in my younger years and thought that I was just one of the very few Asian guys who felt insecurities about my race, soon I would learn I was being naive. As I made friends with guys of various backgrounds, I started to learn that guys from certain minority groups or "unsexy" minority groups (as Chase calls it) tend to have this sort of victim's mentality as well as a lot of inner game issues with their race.

Not only will I share WHY guys have these issues with their race (victim mentality and inner game problems) but MOST IMPORTANTLY, what can fix it and fixed it for me.

When I say "unsexy" in this regard, I generally mean any race that isn't white or black. Latinos are kinda up in the air, I have noticed a lot of the more "brown" ones have these issues while the ones who look white (Spain and Argentina) or black (Dominican Republic) do not. For the sake of this thread though, I will leave them out of it since one of the biggest playboys on this board is Latino (he knows who he is!).

So what's actually causing these beliefs?

After talking to a lot of these guys as well as reflecting on my own experiences, this is what I have come to realize.

Perception is reality. Because it is so rare to see guys from certain minority groups doing well with women, it makes younger guys and guys new to the game from that minority group have inner game issues and start over rationalizing things.

These guys go out in public and know various people from their friend circles but they see the reality before their very own eyes. It is rare for them to see a guy of their race getting with hot girls of other races, especially if the girl is white. They look around and they meet various people only to realize that most men of their race are either dating women of their own race at best or struggling just like they are. You just don't see any Asian or brown Dan Bilzerians and playboys, outside of PUAs whose validity many will question (and in general just come off as goofy try hards), and that gets these guys thinking.

Why is it so rare?

Why do I not see guys who ethnically look like me getting the kinds of girls I like?

What if being my ethnic background truly is that big of a setback?

Maybe I'll have to live with the fact that I will never get the kinds of girls I am attracted to because of something I can't change, my ethnic background.

There it is, the victim's mentality and inner game issues speaking.

For example, you might have a guy who is brown and has a thing for good looking blonde women, except he never sees men who ethnically look like him get those kinds of girls. Naturally, he is going to think that his ethnic appearance is somehow going to stop him from getting those kinds of girls and going to be a barrier in regards to doing so.

Sure he can make a lot of money and be very successful but even if he gets those girls by doing that, deep down inside he will feel that she is with him for the money and not really because of who he is. Because it is rare to see those kinds of women fall in love with or want to sleep with guys of his race and there goes the victim's mentality.

It is a nasty cycle to be in and one I have seen turn guys very bitter and angry. I have noticed it with Asian men that missed out, they might end up doing well but they have this extra aire of douchiness to them and that chip on their shoulder.

It's not really a "thing" to sleep with guys of any race other than white or black.

White guys are obviously the dominant race in the western world while for black guys, there are a lot of good stereotypes that make women want to sleep with them. Women wanting to sleep with a guy because he is black is actually a thing and black guys hear this sort of stuff all the time. It isn't really done for any other minority group, which further makes guys of "unsexy" minority groups develop a victim's mentality because they are not sexualized.

Then couple that in with what society tells these guys.

You know, white girls don't really like Asian guys

I never see Indian guys with blonde girls

Almost all white girls I know hold a low opinion of (insert unsexy minority group here)

But most importantly, how can we help these guys and how can this be fixed?

We can tell these guys "no dude your race is not the issue", they won't believe us.

We can explain to them how their culture is holding them back but if they are westernized, it doesn't apply to them and plus it's not like westernized Asian and brown guys as a whole really do that well either as they still have a lot of geeky tendencies.

We can tell them what to fix and to improve themselves, they might even do it, but the mental block is still going to be there.

Reading books and posts as well as reasoning with them won't fix it.

So here is what fixed it for me.

What really fixed it for me was moving to Seattle (not there right now due to a business trip) where I found that it was common for me to see Asian guys with above average looking girls of other races. Not only that, I also found that I had the opportunity to meet other Asian men in the city who did well in the game. I met Asian guys that were fucking hot girls of all races, including hot blondes, and it slowly put me at ease to see it happen. It took a while for me to get over my beliefs about race but after moving to Seattle, no longer really had them.

When I could go to a bar and see an Asian dude making out with a pretty looking white girl, it was tough for me to blame my race on my failures when there is an Asian guy right in front of my eyes having success.

I also met well built Asian men cleaning up on Tinder, seeing all of the messages hot girls of other races sent them, and that made me realize that being Asian is in no way a major setback when it comes to getting hot girls.

Now sadly, I haven't seen it to the same extent with brown guys. I guess the culture really fucks the guys up so we should all be praying for more Grand Poobas and Zayn Maliks out there.

I feel that the people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on the way we view the world. If more brown guys hung out with Grand Pooba, I am sure they wouldn't be saying that being brown is a setback in the game when they see him making out with a hot girl right in front of their very own eyes.

It's almost like a community effort mentioned in the book Power of Habit, excellent book, read it by the way.

A lot of people made massive changes to their bad habits by finding good groups to take part in and doing it together as a community. When people saw others from similar circumstances make changes in their lives it just uplifted everyone. Whether it was an alcoholic recovering to be normal or a smoker quitting, it inspired others even more.

For a white or black guy, they take this sort of thing for granted since it is so easy to find men of their race that get hot girls.

For guys of "unsexy" minority groups, it is much more difficult if not impossible to do so, quite frankly, Grand Poobas and Zayn Maliks are not that common.

 

[Lover]

Re: Why guys of "unsexy" minority groups have issues with their race & fixing it

I hope some of these minority guys think hard about their future, especially the time when they're close to reaching their deathbeds. How would they look back at their lives as they were aware they had the chance to change their circumstances, but didn't? They wanted to wait for guys with the same amount of melanin in their skin to show them that it is possible to pick up (a certain kind of) women...?

Inspiration is good, and that's why I like your solution. But if there is close to none inspiration, it's best to go the very hard road and become that inspiration. I've heard it should be the most rewarding anyway..

The reasons you state for getting bad vibes about one's race, make sense. But they also contribute to another thing besides victim mentality...

It's the fact that you let others decide that you're not attractive. You actually let others tame you with their ideas of you. Based on what? Your fucking country of origin...

The point of being tamed by others isn't actually just about the cultural and societal norms in the West. It's also about being tamed by family and friends. And if one had a certain upbringing, it's probably just default for that guy to accept all this without even asking or fighting back...

But just remember..

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Why guys of "unsexy" minority groups have issues with their race & fixing it

I think this really digs deep into why you have so many guys with racial insecurities. From my own experience, it is mainly Asian and Indian men who have these based on what I have seen in real life. I think that meeting other successful men of your race can go a long way in easing those insecurities but the issue is, there just aren't that many Indian guys in the USA who are doing well.

I attribute my success to being in a fraternity at a big state school, a situation which will let a guy of any color do well with hot girls. Once I go outside the college bubble, I notice how things play out. You see white men with women of different races, occasionally black men with white women, and that's about it. I could imagine a guy who has not had the opportunity to be in Greek Life think that his race is going to stop him from getting hot girls and he might have legitimate reasons to think that way.

But I also believe one more thing, when there is a will, there is a way.

If you're a brown guy who wants hot blondes, and I mean really wants them, you will do all you can to get them.

You will get that nice body, learn game, get into a well paying career, move to areas where there are a ton of them, really do your research on which areas race won't be a big issue, approach a lot of them, and keep doing this until you find one that is receptive.

I have slept with blonde bombshells before and find that they aren't really these evil creatures who hate men of certain backgrounds and look down on them. A lot of them love a fun and handsome guy and if he is from an exotic background, bonus points. Quite a few might have some prejudice but when they see you in action, it goes away.

For a lot of Indian men, there is this entitlement and massive ego to where they feel like if people aren't saying good things about them, they hate Indians. If blonde bombshells aren't hooking up with Indian men, it's because blonde bombshells are racist. While there might be some truth to it, it is also true that for some the prejudice goes away once they see some cool Indian guys.

We can't really say if it is major prejudice or the lack of cool Indian men. All we can say is, these men most definitely have their work cut out for them. I was fortunate to be in a fraternity which is no easy task but I guess it is up to brown men not as fortunate to try their luck.