Why i'm so bad at the nightclub?

[DAMKY]

I think I actually good at picking-up women.. But, when it comes to nightclub, I'm so bad at it.
Still it's the best environment I like to go for.
Because of my friends don't like this environment I usually go alone, what it's harder.
Once, I've been told from people I know that I dance very oddly, bad.
So I go to few dance classes (different styles) and I actually get there a high amount of compliments (I dance really well at those styles).

But, why when I go to nightclub, everyone look at me like I'm strange guy (whispering and giggle).
Why I need the guys start to do a laughter on me with the lame handshake.
Why I need to get girls pretended their female friend want me (out of the blue) then propose to take picture to together but, refuse to do anything else (is it really a laughter? I think so I refuse to play along).
why I need girls to the copy my dance in laughing act.

I tried everything. From dance the styles I learned (even that the nightclub play different music) but doing it on the rhythm. Even just dance normally and hope that the rhythm catch better. Maybe it's just because I'm look thinner so I just object to laughter at nightclub when everyone looks big?. Maybe because both of them (dance strange and look thin)

 

[Richard]

If you haven't already, take a look at this Article on How to Pick Up Women at Clubs

-Richard

 

[foxman2]

One of the best pick up artists, Mystery, called the dance floor a trap, and that it should be avoided. I agree with this to an extent.

Generally when I will follow Chase's advice and hang around the edges of the dance floor, and catch them as they are coming or going from the dance floor. I generally avoid dancing at the club, unless I have been in conversation with the girl at the club, and it is time to escalate things physically.

I don't stick on the dancefloor long if I am not with any girls, I will only pass through quickly to see if I can get any fast biters who have already seen me working the room with other girls. Dancing by yourself can be a fast way to lower your value in girl's eyes.

Use the dance floor as a tool to escalate, not a tool to meet.

 

[DAMKY]

Zphix,
Already read it.

foxman2,
it's maybe trap for me (because i'm better at talking) and for mystery too.
But I seen guys who pickup better at the dance floor. so it's must be possible.
I still really want to be better at this than just hitting on girls verbaly. (it's just more fun)

There must be a way to just hit on girls with offering your hand. but it hasn't worked me well becuase I give a strange aura.
Thanks.

 

[Franco]

Damky,

There must be a way to just hit on girls with offering your hand. but it hasn't worked me well becuase I give a strange aura.

See this article by Peter:

Dance Floor Seduction

- Franco

 

[DAMKY]

Damky,

There must be a way to just hit on girls with offering your hand. but it hasn't worked me well becuase I give a strange aura.

See this article by Peter:

Dance Floor Seduction

- Franco

Already read it too. (that probably the reason that I used the word "aura" that used in this article too)
I knew that way of taking a girl's hand and start dancing with her even before that article, but, it's worked for me very rarely.
The issue is that I can't build my "aura" around myself.
I probably create strange "aura".

It's harder to take girls with me to the club (to help create the aura).

In learning to dance:
I know to recognize rhythm
(as I told, I learned to dance)
but, my dance is still strange on the dancefloor because it's different music style that I lereaned to dance to.

One possible reasons for this, I think, is that it's harder to fake body language.
while i'm on walk or sitting - it's easy. but when we dance there is so much more thing to do than just like walking (so maybe I came as strange mechnical guy).
though, that when I lerned to dance I do it really good.

So, I don't really sure what the problem is.

 

[Richard]

Damky, then your biggest problem seems to be how you project yourself. You're focusing too much on the outcome of each interaction, when you should be acting independently of the outcome. Instead, go to the club with the mindset of a "big kod." Go with the intent to have fun, and be curious about others, I've found that when I think about myself like a kid, my tone of voice portrays curious interest in people, rather than a creepy interest in people.

 

[DAMKY]

Damky, then your biggest problem seems to be how you project yourself. You're focusing too much on the outcome of each interaction, when you should be acting independently of the outcome. Instead, go to the club with the mindset of a "big kod." Go with the intent to have fun, and be curious about others, I've found that when I think about myself like a kid, my tone of voice portrays curious interest in people, rather than a creepy interest in people.

I don't think this is the problem.

I don't think I'm acting dependently of the outcome.
Maybe only a little bit (So, I don't look as really socialy strange guy)

My problem is not after taking a girl, is far more before that (I actually really good at dancing with a girl)
but alone, pretty bad at nightclub (as I think)

 

[lux7]

How do you dress, how do you look?

I like clubs a lot, but I know what my "problem" is in that environment: I feel that I'm bound to have very limited success as I'm in the bottom 5% in terms of height in an environment where, if possible, looks are even more important than in other places (that's the main one, the fact I'm balding and sometimes wearing glasses doesn't help much either ).

And I can't make that up much with conversation (loud place with not many people out to talk), targeting (limited supply and most today use high heels with high sole), numbers (many drink and make moves in clubs), "vibe" (harder to convey much personality in an extremely crowded space).

 

[DAMKY]

How do you dress, how do you look?

I like clubs a lot, but I know what my "problem" is in that environment: I feel that I'm bound to have very limited success as I'm in the bottom 5% in terms of height in an environment where, if possible, looks are even more important than in other places (that's the main one, the fact I'm balding and sometimes wearing glasses doesn't help much either ).

And I can't make that up much with conversation (loud place with not many people out to talk), targeting (limited supply and most today use high heels with high sole), numbers (many drink and make moves in clubs), "vibe" (harder to convey much personality in an extremely crowded space).

I dress pretty good, though I can't wear many layers becuase too hot in there.

Anyway, I know that this is the main reason for my problem.
My body type is too thin - so when i'm in club i'm like the kid that dance beside everyone.
If you combine this with (apparently bad dance) I look like a clown.

This though I look decency good, my height is ok (not too low) (for who like a thin body)

The question is if there is a way to bypass that?

 

[Richard]

If I were you, the girls laughing or noticing your dancing. I'd approach them with something like "What (haha), don't like my dancing?" but say it in a relaxed, and suave tone

 

[DAMKY]

If I were you, the girls laughing or noticing your dancing. I'd approach them with something like "What (haha), don't like my dancing?" but say it in a relaxed, and suave tone

You right that it's a nice thing to do when I got it, but, I don't think it will help.
It's so much harder to recover from bad first Impression.
What I trying to know is how to do the first Impression right, at nightclub while dancing.

 

[lux7]

If I were you, the girls laughing or noticing your dancing. I'd approach them with something like "What (haha), don't like my dancing?" but say it in a relaxed, and suave tone

You right that it's a nice thing to do when I got it, but, I don't think it will help.
It's so much harder to recover from bad first Impression.
What I trying to know is how to do the first Impression right, at nightclub while dancing.

Dance well

 

[DAMKY]

If I were you, the girls laughing or noticing your dancing. I'd approach them with something like "What (haha), don't like my dancing?" but say it in a relaxed, and suave tone

You right that it's a nice thing to do when I got it, but, I don't think it will help.
It's so much harder to recover from bad first Impression.
What I trying to know is how to do the first Impression right, at nightclub while dancing.

Dance well

That is the thing, easy to say harder to do.
I DO dance well for 3 styles (I actually go for 3 dance classes, and I got many compliments there)
So, I DO know to dance to this styles, but then I go for club that play Mainstream/POP/HOUSE and then if I dance like what I learned it's look too strange (becuase the dance is not fit perfectly for this type of music)

It's can be just becuase I look thin + dance special moves (special in the nightclub) so it's look weird.

 

[lux7]

Why didn't you take classes for the most popular/mainstream kind of music..

 

[DAMKY]

Why didn't you take classes for the most popular/mainstream kind of music..

I don't know one like that, and if there is,
it's usually dance for specific song (like learn to dance for one POP song but not for any pop rhythm)

 

[Richard]

The dancing shouldn't be the problem, like you said, it should be how you convey yourself. Yesterday when I was at my aunt and uncles house shooting, I was talking with my cousin and realized something. He dances techno/ dubstep style to hip hop and mainstream music. The dancing itself isn't the problem, it is probably how you present yourself.

 

[DAMKY]

The dancing shouldn't be the problem, like you said, it should be how you convey yourself. Yesterday when I was at my aunt and uncles house shooting, I was talking with my cousin and realized something. He dances techno/ dubstep style to hip hop and mainstream music. The dancing itself isn't the problem, it is probably how you present yourself.

That is the problem. I know I do something wrong, but I don't know what..
I'ts so frustrating that I have this problem only on nightclubs, the preferred environment of mine.

 

[Verisimilitude]

I'ts so frustrating that I have this problem only on nightclubs, the preferred environment of mine.

Why do you prefer an environment that you don't do well in?

The only decent advice I can give you is to watch movies where a guy picks up a girl in a nightclub.

Maybe if you post a detailed field report (down to each little nonverbal), we can help. But right now, we can't do much because we don't have enough information.

 

[DAMKY]

I'ts so frustrating that I have this problem only on nightclubs, the preferred environment of mine.

Why do you prefer an environment that you don't do well in?

The only decent advice I can give you is to watch movies where a guy picks up a girl in a nightclub.

Maybe if you post a detailed field report (down to each little nonverbal), we can help. But right now, we can't do much because we don't have enough information.

I do prefer that environment becuase I like to dance, I like to escalate on the dancefloor (I dance REALLY good when i'm with a girl already).
So, when I do have good nights in the dancefloor, the escalate phase is so much fun (and I also got a jump in the interest) without even need to sextalk.
also, it's possible to enjoy even when going out alone.

I think it's impossible to post a field report.. I just danced (alone..), offered my hand to girls and they refused.
Also, I noticed girls do the things I told in my initial post..