It’s been a while I posted here. Prior to this time I’ve had a small group of seducers who I discuss seduction with. But I’ve realized how limited it is, and many times I have questions that can’t really be answered. Like this one.
I relocated, and in the past 7 months I’ve laid about 45 girls. One of them is currently my gf —I’m running a one-sided monogamy. We’ve been dating for 3 months now. It’s my first time trying out a longterm relationship, so there’s just a lot of inexperience on my part.
My problem is she isn’t chasing. I hear guys talking about how their gfs want to spend every waking moment with them —texting and calling, asking for more time/attention— but mine isn’t that way. I’ve never had a single week where I’ve seen my gf 3 times, and 2 times is more rare than the norm (if you don’t count sleepovers). So most times I see her once a week, even some weeks in the past, I’ve not gotten to see her.
For example, the last time we met was Saturday. We went out at night, came back, and she spent half of Sunday with me before leaving. We talked about a lot of things, including having threesomes —I finally convinced her, after assuring her that I won’t mess around with the girl behind her back. Her fear was that she might lose me to the other girl.
I texted her on Tuesday to ask her about the days she’s free and she said she’s waiting for her timetable (she just resumed school on Monday). Texted her the next day to ask if she got it, she said yes. I called and we talked about it —Mondays n Tuesdays her classes end in the morning. The other days by afternoon.
So I tell her, let’s just meet on Friday and she says she’ll let me know. In my mind i’m baffled —we haven’t seen throughout the week, and Friday is towards the end of it. Isn’t she supposed to be eager to meet? So I ask her “what do you mean by you’ll think about it”, and she says, “I didn’t say we won’t see. It’s just that I’ll be finishing classes late”. I can’t say exactly how the conversation ended, but she wasn’t really giving me total assurance. And oh, my birthday is actually on Saturday.
I later texted her to ask we meet after her classes, same day. (man, typing this I realized how much chasing I had done). About 3 hours later I mistakenly dialed her number and quickly ended it. She texted “I’m still in class. Please wait”. She never texted back throughout that day.
The crazy part is she’s very affectionate when we’re physically together. She’s how a typical girlfriend should be, and I have zero complaints. But once she’s gone, I’m not getting random calls or texts or a strong eagerness to spend several days with me. Instead, it’s more like I’m chasing her.
What could be the reason?
Can this problem be solved?
She has ignored my request to see her, what should be my reaction when she finally texts/calls… should I ignore her, or?
Now, I’ll have to admit, the relationship didn’t start smoothly —I made a lot of mistakes that put me in the chasing position, and maybe that precedence is what I’m suffering right now?
First time we had sex she told me, “I like you” and I didn’t say it back. She repeated with, “I really like you”, and all I did was kiss her. She then asked me what are we. I told her something along the lines of “we just met. let’s see how it goes”. Needless to say, it wasn’t reassuring enough. So I spent the next few weeks trying to get her to come see me but she kept on flaking. I was losing my mind. I knew we shared a very strong connection and I could tell she really liked me. So why tf wasn’t she coming out to see me?
At some point I got pissed and I couldn’t hide it. We argued. Later that night she called, saying her period was delayed. So I told her to come over. She came over the next day and I got a kit. This was a month after I first laid her. She tested and it was negative. We had great sex and I told her that I liked her. She was over the moon and I thought that was all she needed to know.
After she left, it was impossible to see her. She was once again flaky. One of the days we were to meet, I saw the signs she was going to flake again so I tried to make her jealous by posting on whatsapp a video of me and another girl. She immediately responded to my text, but she wasn’t saying she’d meet up. At this point I had had enough so I shot her a sort of ball-in-your-court text, but with a twist since we had already had sex.
She told me I wanted something casual but she didn’t want that. She likes me too much and it’s one-sided. And that she had even seen my gf that I posted. I felt relieved, now I knew what the problem was. I cleared the air, made her understand that I liked her a lot and wanted something more than casual sex. And the girl I posted was to make her jealous. Finally, she came over.
But after that, things went back to how it was and I couldn’t meet with her. I felt I hadn’t assured her enough, I realized she probably wanted a relationship. It was already 2 months since we first had sex. So I commented on a post she made and randomly called her my gf. She was over the moon, excited, and asked that we meet up, all on her own. Then I made a mistake. I told her before we conclude anything there’s something I needed to tell her first when we meet —It was the one-sided monogamy talk. She insisted i tell, and instead of waiting till we met physically I called and laid it on her.
She felt bad, told me that’s not what she wanted and then went silent on me despite my insistence we meet to talk about it. Two days later I called and told her we go see a movie together, doesn’t have to be as bf n gf. After meeting and having sex, things just flowed naturally into a relationship with her accepting the relationship dynamics.
But all of this time, through all of these issues, my first reaction —as a guy inexperienced in relationship— was to chase. But now that things are settled, I expected the dynamics to change —I expected her to give the chase. But that’s not the case, and I’m tired. The only times she’s chased —and chased pretty hard— was whenever she felt threatened by another girl. Like if I posted something and a girl was talking in the background, etc. Then she’d text n keep calling till I responded.
I’d love to hear what the experienced guys in relationships have to say. Also some immediate advice on what to do when she eventually reaches out to me after ignoring my text about us meeting.
Edit: She just texted me (It’s 5am the next day. I texted her about the meet yesterday afternoon) saying she was too exhausted but she’ll try and make it today. Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m tripping and just overreacting.
I relocated, and in the past 7 months I’ve laid about 45 girls. One of them is currently my gf —I’m running a one-sided monogamy. We’ve been dating for 3 months now. It’s my first time trying out a longterm relationship, so there’s just a lot of inexperience on my part.
My problem is she isn’t chasing. I hear guys talking about how their gfs want to spend every waking moment with them —texting and calling, asking for more time/attention— but mine isn’t that way. I’ve never had a single week where I’ve seen my gf 3 times, and 2 times is more rare than the norm (if you don’t count sleepovers). So most times I see her once a week, even some weeks in the past, I’ve not gotten to see her.
For example, the last time we met was Saturday. We went out at night, came back, and she spent half of Sunday with me before leaving. We talked about a lot of things, including having threesomes —I finally convinced her, after assuring her that I won’t mess around with the girl behind her back. Her fear was that she might lose me to the other girl.
I texted her on Tuesday to ask her about the days she’s free and she said she’s waiting for her timetable (she just resumed school on Monday). Texted her the next day to ask if she got it, she said yes. I called and we talked about it —Mondays n Tuesdays her classes end in the morning. The other days by afternoon.
So I tell her, let’s just meet on Friday and she says she’ll let me know. In my mind i’m baffled —we haven’t seen throughout the week, and Friday is towards the end of it. Isn’t she supposed to be eager to meet? So I ask her “what do you mean by you’ll think about it”, and she says, “I didn’t say we won’t see. It’s just that I’ll be finishing classes late”. I can’t say exactly how the conversation ended, but she wasn’t really giving me total assurance. And oh, my birthday is actually on Saturday.
I later texted her to ask we meet after her classes, same day. (man, typing this I realized how much chasing I had done). About 3 hours later I mistakenly dialed her number and quickly ended it. She texted “I’m still in class. Please wait”. She never texted back throughout that day.
The crazy part is she’s very affectionate when we’re physically together. She’s how a typical girlfriend should be, and I have zero complaints. But once she’s gone, I’m not getting random calls or texts or a strong eagerness to spend several days with me. Instead, it’s more like I’m chasing her.
What could be the reason?
Can this problem be solved?
She has ignored my request to see her, what should be my reaction when she finally texts/calls… should I ignore her, or?
Now, I’ll have to admit, the relationship didn’t start smoothly —I made a lot of mistakes that put me in the chasing position, and maybe that precedence is what I’m suffering right now?
First time we had sex she told me, “I like you” and I didn’t say it back. She repeated with, “I really like you”, and all I did was kiss her. She then asked me what are we. I told her something along the lines of “we just met. let’s see how it goes”. Needless to say, it wasn’t reassuring enough. So I spent the next few weeks trying to get her to come see me but she kept on flaking. I was losing my mind. I knew we shared a very strong connection and I could tell she really liked me. So why tf wasn’t she coming out to see me?
At some point I got pissed and I couldn’t hide it. We argued. Later that night she called, saying her period was delayed. So I told her to come over. She came over the next day and I got a kit. This was a month after I first laid her. She tested and it was negative. We had great sex and I told her that I liked her. She was over the moon and I thought that was all she needed to know.
After she left, it was impossible to see her. She was once again flaky. One of the days we were to meet, I saw the signs she was going to flake again so I tried to make her jealous by posting on whatsapp a video of me and another girl. She immediately responded to my text, but she wasn’t saying she’d meet up. At this point I had had enough so I shot her a sort of ball-in-your-court text, but with a twist since we had already had sex.
She told me I wanted something casual but she didn’t want that. She likes me too much and it’s one-sided. And that she had even seen my gf that I posted. I felt relieved, now I knew what the problem was. I cleared the air, made her understand that I liked her a lot and wanted something more than casual sex. And the girl I posted was to make her jealous. Finally, she came over.
But after that, things went back to how it was and I couldn’t meet with her. I felt I hadn’t assured her enough, I realized she probably wanted a relationship. It was already 2 months since we first had sex. So I commented on a post she made and randomly called her my gf. She was over the moon, excited, and asked that we meet up, all on her own. Then I made a mistake. I told her before we conclude anything there’s something I needed to tell her first when we meet —It was the one-sided monogamy talk. She insisted i tell, and instead of waiting till we met physically I called and laid it on her.
She felt bad, told me that’s not what she wanted and then went silent on me despite my insistence we meet to talk about it. Two days later I called and told her we go see a movie together, doesn’t have to be as bf n gf. After meeting and having sex, things just flowed naturally into a relationship with her accepting the relationship dynamics.
But all of this time, through all of these issues, my first reaction —as a guy inexperienced in relationship— was to chase. But now that things are settled, I expected the dynamics to change —I expected her to give the chase. But that’s not the case, and I’m tired. The only times she’s chased —and chased pretty hard— was whenever she felt threatened by another girl. Like if I posted something and a girl was talking in the background, etc. Then she’d text n keep calling till I responded.
I’d love to hear what the experienced guys in relationships have to say. Also some immediate advice on what to do when she eventually reaches out to me after ignoring my text about us meeting.
Edit: She just texted me (It’s 5am the next day. I texted her about the meet yesterday afternoon) saying she was too exhausted but she’ll try and make it today. Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m tripping and just overreacting.
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