Calls & Texts Why It's Good To Be A "Bad Texter"

Franco

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Lately, I've been noticing that a good chunk of the women I've been seeing all have something in common: they've all referred to me as a "bad texter."

Do you know what all of these women also have in common? They've all slept with me, and they've all texted me afterward in hopes of meeting up again.

But what exactly is a "bad texter?" On this website, Chase teaches how you to become a "good texter" and how to properly text women to get dates and to get laid. So why do all of these women refer to me as the exact opposite?

Well, the answer is actually quite simple. But we'll get to that in a minute.

I still see plenty of people here on the forums struggling with sending texts (i.e. "should I send her another text?" or "she didn't respond... should I follow up with another text? What should I say? I don't want her to lose interest"). So let's break this whole idea of "texting" down a bit more to clear up the air, shall we?

When it comes to sending/receiving text messages, women are actually no different than men. They literally jump for joy when they receive text messages from the guys they like, and they just kind of ignore text messages from the guys they have little-to-no interest in (and possibly even regret giving their contact information out to). But before you start criticizing how easy it is for a girl to just send you a simple, "hey, sorry I've haven't gotten back to you..." or even, "hey, I appreciate the gesture, but I'm really not that interested," let's take a short walk in their shoes.

On a given night out, an attractive girl (a HB8 or higher for example) probably gets approached by at least 5-10 dudes. Of those 5-10 dudes, she might give out her number to 2 or 3. She also might go out Friday AND Saturday night, which means another 2-3 guys have received her number. So guess what? When she wakes up on Sunday morning, she might have six different guys who have left text messages on her phone!

Do you think she really wants to respond to all of those in the morning when she's tired and has things to do? Probably not.

Let's go through some examples of the kinds of texts she'll be waking up to in the morning:

  • Guy A: "Hey baby, u still awake? After party at my place..."
    Guy B: "It was AWESOME meeting you Ashley! You're such a cool chick :). We should hang out tomorrow or something. I think it's cool that we both like apple martinis, don't you think so? :) Lol! So what are u up to tomorrow?
    Guy C: "Banana FUDGESICLES! Hahaha. That was so funny! So how are things with you?"
    Guy D: "Hey Ashley, it was cool meetin you last night. Save my number =) - Franco"

Let's review these messages.

  • "Guy A" is the guy who thinks he's smooth and a "natural player" with women. He actually might be pretty suave and attractive in person, but when he sends a short text like the one that he does here, the girl thinks to herself, "I just barely met this guy, and he's calling me baby and inviting me over to his place? He's obviously just after one thing. I bet he doesn't even remember my name..." Unless the girl is desperately looking for a quick hook-up on the night, she probably won't respond to this one.

    "Guy B" is the one who doesn't get laid too often and gets excited when he somehow ends up in a long conversation with a girl at a bar or other public location. He immediately assumes that the girl is interested in him romantically and sends a long text thinking that he's just continuing the conversation from last night to keep the ball rolling. When the girl receives this text, she thinks either one of two things:
    • 1) Aww, this guy was that nice guy from last night. I don't think I'm really attracted to him, but maybe we could hang out at some point. *Sends a short, sweet text back to him*
      2) Whoa, that's a long text... I'm too tired to respond to this one. I'll get back to him later. *She never gets back to him*

      Obviously, this is not the ideal text situations we are looking for.

    "Guy C" is the guy who sends a text referring to a specific (usually funny) moment in his conversation with the girl from last night in hopes of her recalling who he is and how "funny and awesome" he was. But guess what? That probably wasn't the only memorable moment she had that night. And she might have even been a bit too buzzed to remember that conversation, so she'll probably look at this text and go, "huh...?" and then not respond.

    "Guy D" is the one who understands that women are constantly hounded by text messages, so he realizes that he needs to keep his text messages short, to the point, and including the necessary details. In that small text message, he shows that he remembers her name, he shows that he doesn't feel any need to impress her over a text message, and he gives her his name in case she couldn't hear it over the noise or couldn't remember it. He also understands that it is the easiest text for a girl to respond to. The most common response a guy will receive to this type of text message is something along the lines of, "Thanks! It was nice meeting you too. :)"

It is absolutely critical that you handle your fundamentals well and you come across as a sexy man before you give her your number. Your first impression is what will leave her hoping that you will text message her rather than all of the other guys that night who did not seem to have the same "edginess" to them.

If you have done this correctly, then guess what? She will be the one constantly waiting for your text message instead of the other way around.

Some of the thoughts that might occur to her are:

  • "Howcome he hasn't texted me yet? Did he forget about me?"
    "He takes forever to answer my text messages... is he just busy? Or is he texting other women that also like him like I do?"
    "He never likes to ask me how my day is or anything! Maybe I should just send him a text message to let him know I want to see him... or maybe I shouldn't... or maybe I should..."

And eventually, you get a surprise text message from her that you were not expecting! All of a sudden, the tables have turned. She gets so worried about why you are not texting her that she decides to send a text message to YOU instead, JUST in case you might have "forgotten" about her or "didn't realize that she likes you." By following the law of least effort and being aloof, you've obtained investment from her. When this happens, you'll notice she'll be much more likely to set up a first, second, or even third date with you before you've slept together.

If you're reaching an intermediate level with women, you'll start to notice this trend of women texting you before you get the chance to text them. But once this happens though, you need to remain congruent. If you haven't been texting her that often, that doesn't mean you start texting her more now that she's texted you. You continue to be aloof, short, and to the point with your text messages until you've slept with her and probably even beyond that. If you are going to throw some wit and humor in there, make sure it is brief (and preferably an inside joke between you two) and that it does not interfere with your overall goal of getting together.

After you've slept with her, you'll notice that these random text messages from her will start to show up more frequently. And eventually, she just might even mention to you about how much of a "bad texter" you are since you never "text her first" or that you take hours upon hours to respond to her. When she states this, you just give her a sexy smile, possibly a wink, and say, "I'm just a busy guy." Then take her to bed and show her just how passionate and sexy a "bad texter" can be. ;)

Cheers,

Franco
 

Franco

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A few more good tips for texting women:

  • - Vary your response times. If you are at work, then it is natural that it might take you several hours to respond. If you are at home one evening in the middle of the week, then it is likely you would respond quicker, so respond within 20-50 minutes. Play around with what works best for you.

    - Try to always have HER be the one to text you "last" during a conversation. I always try to be the one to leave the conversation when I see an opening. It leaves her thinking that maybe she didn't send a good "last text," which is ALSO likely to lead to her being the first one to text you next time so that she can make up for it! ;)

    - Do be sincere. If you have to cancel on a date, let her know with ample enough time so that she can make other plans. Don't make her resent you for taking too long to text.

    - Finally, try not to give into her requests, even if it is for the smallest things. Always try to suggest other times/dates/places for meeting up or doing things. But be suave and/or playful when you do it -- do not come across as controlling and demanding.

Upwards and onwards, fellas!

- Franco
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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The concept works great, and it really does.

Franco, i am afraid that if all Girlschase members will have all but the same skills. Haha, we, all, be doomed.

Zac
 

stringer bell

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Great article. I've been called a bad texter and a lot of it has to do with just being into something else at the time of the text and then forgetting to text back for hours. It's the chase system, the more she's hanging on the edge/waiting for the text the more she's in the chasing position. The key is to pull it off in a suave way, and I can't think of anything better than "I'm just a busy guy" because it shows that she's not on your mind and that your focused on yourself first and foremost. Frames baby.
 

Chase

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Great stuff, Franco. I really enjoyed the "example texts" the club girl gets from all the other men she's out meeting over the weekend - pretty good representative sample of the text message buffet some of these girls wake up to Sunday morning, indeed.

Fun stuff that girls are calling you a "bad texter." That's a loud and clear indicator that women you're meeting can feel the balance of power shifting from them to you - contrary to what they experience with most men, where power stays firmly on their side of the scale... and they like the shift.

Also worth noting: a girl ONLY notices this if she cares about it and it BOTHERS her. If she texts back a, "Sorry I missed your message... next time!" to Guy A and he takes forever to respond, she likely won't even notice or care. If she's telling you you need to text more frequently, you know you're having an impact.

Chase
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Hey Franco,

I wanted to note, So do you use Guy D text's a lot? I thought mostly it is for logistics when you text a girl. I kind of confuse here. So one day you texted her Guy's D text, the next day, you ask her out?

it works somewhat.

Zac
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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IT's like do you only send Guy's text D when you just met her yesterday or when you met her online, I do it and it has work for me. But if you were to do it with girls you have their number but have not been contact for long, it happens to be working good because you tend to not come too hard when you haven't meet her in a long while.

If anyone happens to have notes to share, do feel free to share. It's two concepts, i will work this two out.

Zac
 

Franco

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Zac,

So one day you texted her Guy's D text, the next day, you ask her out?

Pretty much! This is only with girls that I met in person and had some conversation with (I'd say for at least 10 minutes). If you got a girl's number in a rush, then you might have to build some rapport, but any rapport you have to try to build over the phone is going to significantly reduce your chances of you getting the date. Remember, it's always best to build the initial attraction in person so that the texting afterward becomes simple: set up the date.

But if you were to do it with girls you have their number but have not been contact for long, it happens to be working good because you tend to not come too hard when you haven't meet her in a long while.

Well, this is a different ball game. I generally don't try again with girls that I've failed with in the past. It can work sometimes if you felt strong attraction between you two and felt that life maybe got in the way, but it's usually a longshot. If it's a girl that you haven't talked to in awhile, then I would use something similar to what Chase recommends like:

"Hey, sorry I've been busy Michelle. Work has been kicking my ass the last few weeks. How are things with you? =)"

Then I would build a small amount of rapport to warm her up to you again and see if she's interested, and then ask her on the date.

- Franco
 

PinotNoir

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This is great. I never do the "banana fudgesicles" thing, but I've probably been in between Guy C & D, when I should be more D. I usually try to bring up something that we discussed, but just not in a "OMG BANANA FUDGESICLES" kind of way. Here's an exact text I sent back in February:

"evening Gena, sweet to meet a person that can understand unusual flirting, hope u have a pleasant night ;) -PN"

Reading back on this, the "sweet to meet" sounds terrible; I honestly didn't mean to rhyme there. The "unusual flirting" came from talking about something odd, forgot what. She texted back immediately, but we never went on a date. I don't think I built enough connection before getting her number.

This is some good insight though.
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Franco,

Franco said:
Remember, it's always best to build the initial attraction in person so that the texting afterward becomes simple: set up the date.

Thanks man, I see where my sticking point, seems to be there often.

Franco said:
Then I would build a small amount of rapport to warm her up to you again and see if she's interested, and then ask her on the date.

I actually tested out the "direct approach" of asking her out and "indirect approach" of how's she been, The latter works wonders. It depends really, because if you're lazy, you might just shoot,

"Hey Grace!! I hope you been doing good. How's your last weekend? It's been awhile since i have contacted you. We should grab some coffee."

I still need more data points, It's working as far as i know, but my on/off sticking point is where you pointed out. :) Thanks!

Zac
 

Verisimilitude

Cro-Magnon Man
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How do you guys handle texting missteps? Like where you might say the wrong thing and it creates tension. The route that I'm taking right now is let a day pass and reopen with something different. But I also don't like leaving the conversation on a negative note.
 
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