I never wear accessories before and when I am planing to get some I was told I am not that type person,like a player type. People around me have given me negative comments about my change, like my voice, cloths and so on. They say it's just not me. Fuck them.
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- Apr 13, 2014
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How have the randoms you approached or people you randomly seen made any negative comments ?
they probably have an image of you in their social group and feel threatened (not sure if that's that right word to describe what im thinking) by the change.
If other people don't seem to be responding well to the change e.g. your get odd looks then i might be that your change might have been worse but i think its highly unlikely to be this.
For me in my social group i was kinda the guy behind on fashion and when i started getting tighter fitting slim fit clothing and also wearing bright singlets to complement my dark complexion and also working out to look fitter i got lots of comments about my improvement or comments about they liked my top etc. This was generally by the female members of the group and 1 guy which i often get tips from he is like the male guru of the group (he is straight by the way))
Also acquaintances e.g. people who i knew but really did talk to where giving me complements ( i think complements from acquaintances are what you should be looking out for cause they are more likely to view you like how a random would view you)
they probably have an image of you in their social group and feel threatened (not sure if that's that right word to describe what im thinking) by the change.
If other people don't seem to be responding well to the change e.g. your get odd looks then i might be that your change might have been worse but i think its highly unlikely to be this.
For me in my social group i was kinda the guy behind on fashion and when i started getting tighter fitting slim fit clothing and also wearing bright singlets to complement my dark complexion and also working out to look fitter i got lots of comments about my improvement or comments about they liked my top etc. This was generally by the female members of the group and 1 guy which i often get tips from he is like the male guru of the group (he is straight by the way))
Also acquaintances e.g. people who i knew but really did talk to where giving me complements ( i think complements from acquaintances are what you should be looking out for cause they are more likely to view you like how a random would view you)
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- Nov 14, 2012
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Franky,
People who knew you before you started changing everything about yourself are going to give you shit if you start making drastic changes because they are either (a) jealous of the new attention you might be getting if you're making positive improvements or (b) complaining that you are trying to be someone you are not.
The best advice for either of these? Ignore both of them.
If your social circle is really giving you a hard time about your changes, then you'll need to reconsider whether or not these are the types of people that you want to be hanging around. If they are always dragging you down and not providing any type of value to your life whatsoever, then you can always cut these people from your life and form a new social circle with the types of people you DO want to be around. You want to look for people who boost your overall value -- not try to suck it dry.
Do what you need to do to make yourself the man you want to become, and in the process, feel free to start re-arranging your circle to include only the people who provide true value to you as real friends. =)
- Franco
People who knew you before you started changing everything about yourself are going to give you shit if you start making drastic changes because they are either (a) jealous of the new attention you might be getting if you're making positive improvements or (b) complaining that you are trying to be someone you are not.
The best advice for either of these? Ignore both of them.
If your social circle is really giving you a hard time about your changes, then you'll need to reconsider whether or not these are the types of people that you want to be hanging around. If they are always dragging you down and not providing any type of value to your life whatsoever, then you can always cut these people from your life and form a new social circle with the types of people you DO want to be around. You want to look for people who boost your overall value -- not try to suck it dry.
Do what you need to do to make yourself the man you want to become, and in the process, feel free to start re-arranging your circle to include only the people who provide true value to you as real friends. =)
- Franco
Yoda said:
Yoda, for some reasons, my social circle is limited, mostly co-workers. Since I started taking care of my fundamentals interesting things have happened---things like two girls in two different shops have told me they like the icons on my t-shirt. I think you have a very good social circle. Chase said in one of his articles that supportive group is very helpful to your success and I think he is right.
Well said Franco! I agree with you that jealousness is one of the reasons. I also believe that scarcity/avoid to loss plays a role here because they just don't want to lose you as friends or group members. I have noticed a fundamental law that difference creates pressure. Just like the gap between the rich and the poor creates pressure if you want to be different from your group you get social pressure or maybe social discipline, a concept from Chase. If you succeed in changing then you become a leader if not your social status could drop. Another reason could be that a social group tends to punish changing and reward stability. Just like in an army once your role is assigned you are not supposed to change it otherwise the whole army could lose in battles. An organized system has division of labor and specialization, which requires stability. It's interesting to point out that this social pressure could work as a screening process to qualify a true leader, in other words if you can't handle the pressure you just can't be a leader or a dominant man and therefore a sexy man. And the best way to deal with the pressure is, as you have pointed out, to ignore them or find new and supportive circles.Franco said:
Agree Amigo!Whizzy said:
I truly agree with Franco on that one...
I too am going through that. I've been working on my fundamentals and people around me notice the change. There are some that are jealous of the transformation and some that are attracted to the new me . My advice to you: keep improving yourself and simply ignore those against you....
- Uncle Don
I too am going through that. I've been working on my fundamentals and people around me notice the change. There are some that are jealous of the transformation and some that are attracted to the new me . My advice to you: keep improving yourself and simply ignore those against you....
- Uncle Don
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- Oct 28, 2013
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The reason they are saying this is because they are in part 1) policing you 2) people don't like drastic changes because they feel less connected to the identity they are conditioned to perceive you as.
DO YOU! All things pass. those friends of yours won't be with you forever. Understand that they are showing care for you by trying to protect you from any social shaming due to looking like a player, but live the life you want. Evolve evolve evolve and become greater.
I honestly am laughing at the psychological and biological explanations for their behavior. Just humans being humans
DO YOU! All things pass. those friends of yours won't be with you forever. Understand that they are showing care for you by trying to protect you from any social shaming due to looking like a player, but live the life you want. Evolve evolve evolve and become greater.
I honestly am laughing at the psychological and biological explanations for their behavior. Just humans being humans
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- Apr 26, 2014
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- 57
TheWiseFool said:
This.
It is true most friends that you come across in life won't be there forever. To be honest no one will be around you forever.
Rely on yourself. First and foremost.
You only have a finite amount of time to enjoy things and to better yourself, do everything that makes you greater than your past self.
Glitch