Why The Hell Is This Happening?

[James D]

How is your body language, eye contact, tonality, and fashion? I think a lot of the time this is what she initially responds to and dictates if she’ll reply or not.

Todd V had a good video on making numbers solid, here

Fundamentals were good dude.

That wasn't the issue.

The above replies (with the exception of this nobu guy) got it right.

They're very educational on this nuance of day game so you might wanna give check them out

 

[HoofHearted]

So you talked for 90 minutes and all you did was ask questions, crack some jokes, invite her to sit beside you and touch her a bit.

After doing this five times in a row, you can see that NONE of these things will actually motivate random chicks from day game to meet up with you on a later date. Spiked emotions from cracking jokes do not last. Even if the touching you did made her a bit horny that wouldn't last either.

It sounds like you have a misunderstanding of what effective day game actually looks like. It's way more technical.

For example if you had dived deeper into why she wants to become a chef. To discuss the emotions and motivations surrounding this goal, you could have actually gotten inside her mind. Then found a way to relate her motivations to something you do. This would make her feel connected to you and remember your conversation long after you left. Or at least you'd be talking about her inner world like an authority, which girls love.

Instead you ran personality-based game which made YOU feel connected to the girl but did VERY LITTLE in terms of getting inside her mind and removing barriers to sex. I'm not even going to talk about how to remove barriers to sex from day game here cause it might go over your head.

I find the flavor bitter, too, which is why it prompted a wry response from me. It also occurs me that sometimes, when the presentation is less palatable, it in some ways may encourage us to evaluate the ideas more thoroughly. When people like us too much, ideas often get floated maybe not on intellect merit, but 'liking.' And, if 'Nobu' is really this way, I don't like him for sure.

But although I do not like the flavor, and although I can't evaluate the person in any sense (who knows?), I think there's some interesting stuff in here.

The impermanence of mood ("spiked emotions do not last"-- true, emotions and experiences are especially transitory, and what is true today may not be true tomorrow).

What connection feels like for people. Undervaluing the other person's sense of connection, as an explanation of outcome. (Her connection to you, versus yours to her).

I just feel 'Nobu' gets a little fart sniffy. That's easy to do online, and when evaluating someone else's experience. Nonetheless, I let go of all certainty and present and receive all ideas as best I can. Maybe 'Nobu' is right. It also seems 'Nobu' believes in 'technical' and 'hierarchy.' And it is at this point I like to remind everyone there is a world outside of our own ass. Oh, the male tendency to burrow into nature's pocket. Why are we such fools.

I have a recognized level of achievement in a certain field. Sometimes I arrive at situation where someone is teaching beginners in the field. The instructors introduce me to their class, and I tell the class I am a beginner. The instructors laugh and correct me to the class, and the students laugh. But I am not joking. I am a beginner, and have not yet encountered anybody who understands this.

 

[foggy]

nobus behavior is common from those who have just learned something new, then get caught up in their ego when given the chance to teach that thing

his tone was certainly poor - keep in mind this is how he talks to himself and likely slips out to girls too

its really much better to find yourself chatting with someone intelligent, such as the previous posters in this thread. they expressed themselves and the meaning of this issue helpfully, which is the correct way to do things

 

[HoofHearted]

nobus behavior is common from those who have just learned something new, then get caught up in their ego when given the chance to teach that thing

his tone was certainly poor - keep in mind this is how he talks to himself and likely slips out to girls too

its really much better to find yourself chatting with someone intelligent, such as the previous posters in this thread. they expressed themselves and the meaning of this issue helpfully, which is the correct way to do things

Such certainty. It's probably especially informed by experience. You may very well be right, and that wouldn't surprise me.

Nothing to do but watch, I guess, if I really want to know. I hope I have a good enough skillset for watching.

 

[TheEcho]

I'll throw a bit into this ring. I had a similar situation just last week: I posted by a new girl at the gym that I chatted with a bit, she seemed to hook right away and was staring at me a lot, but said she wasn't single so I backed off (I may be turning to the dark [desperate] side and am going to stop asking about their status). She went off on a stairmaster and I got to watch her rear for the next half hour. I said screw it and found a way to naturally be by her machine as she got off. Looking back, I probably should have gone for an insta-date and close given the good vibe and her availability. Instead, I asked to grab coffee and gave her my number (not sure why I didn't get hers), she seemed pretty onboard for meeting, but over a week later, no contact...

This has been my experience for nearly a year now. I'm realizing my contact count isn't super high due to "building my business and moving out of the house (again)", but of the dozens of cold approaches I've done this year, most went very well and then 0-1 replies to text and 0 dates overall.

I'm trying to tease out the reason for the complete stonewall to even grab coffee with me and my current theory is self-esteem being trashed by my breakup and being denied by 200+ roles in the industry of my degree. Trying to do a lot of inner work, but it does feel nutty each time a new interaction happens and then nothingness. Being 5' 7" and not currently making money, it's quite a fight to not fall into the easy excuse it's due to those things, and stick to focusing on correcting my inner "vibe".

These were all in gyms and either a 2-5 minute chat into grabbing her contact or attempting to "social circle" game over a few interactions.

Thinking back, most of the cold approaches while doing Postmates 6-7 years ago were really short and not much vibe happened. It would be a compliment, names, who are you, what do you do, I gtg, let's meet-up. So it definitely could be that we are going wrong with being great right away but not closing anything physically. I'm actually toying with doing food delivery again just to be out and about when not at the gym or assembling my business.

Edit: reading the "too many good feelings" article does strongly resonate with me, as I am proudly incredibly charismatic and now have crazy stories from world travels and such that tend to come up. Becoming a higher value guy at base seems to have been backfiring when my approach stayed the same.

 

[Bo Diddley]

OP were all 5 girls opened at a McDonald's?

 

[pancakemouse]

I find it interesting that six numbers ghosting is notable.

In NYC daygame, I frequently go streaks of 30-40 numbers without getting a date. Most of these numbers never respond to the feeler.

Ghosting is default female behavior. It's just what they do. City-dependent, of course.