Hey Guys,
It's been a while since I posted on the board, but I just need some advice and some objective viewing...
I feel like I have been in a rut. My sexy vibe is a bit off... I'm running a business I started earlier this year, and getting ready to move to Spain after the summer and I think the stress is emanating. So, I have been having some dates where I feel like I am throwing off a platonic vibe. Another thing is that a few months back, I was on fire meeting girls. They would get hot on the first date and we would end up making out hot and heavy and be all over each other and then I wouldn't get any calls back afterwards. I had brought this up in the forums, and it was suggested to tone things down a bit unless it was conducive to having sex. So, if I get an informational date set up these days, or a first date that's not close to either one of our places, I act flirty and engaging, but no more making out on street corners and in bars, etc.
Tonight I went out with this chick that I know through the salsa scene. So, I guess it's a bit of a social circle kinda thing. She's always told me that she loves the way I move and that I am so smooth, and she then kinda disappeared out of my circle a bit. We became friends a while back on Facebook. When that happened she reached out to me and suggested grabbing a drink; we tried setting things up and things fell through. Well fast forward a few months later- apparently, we are now neighbors and she saw me riding my bike home from the gym. She hit me up on FB, we exchanged numbers, flirted a bit, and set up a date tonight.
I sort've went into the date with a bit of an "informational date" tone. Although we don't hang out with the exact same people, we definitely run the same circle. Plus, we've never really had a one on one to deep dive and get to know each other. So, I wasn't trying to pull one of these hang for 20 minutes and then smash. The date was chill- we met at a local pub. I had a club soda- she was a bit late and didn't grab a drink. We were sitting at a table bullshitting a bit- a little bit of deep diving. Found out that she works in finance but it isn't great at numbers. She always loved writing, though. She's always wanted to become a detective, but is nervous to take the police test, etc.
After about an hour, she was tired and wanted to leave. I walked her part way home and then saw her off. I gave her a tight hug, but didn't make any move. It just didn't feel right to pull her in and start making out with her or anything. At this stage in the game, I am trying not to just swing away at everything. I am trying to use my judgement and gut a bit and feel things out...
I guess my question is- did I play any of my cards right? She mentioned how she gets up early and was laughing when I said I get up at the same time but snooze for about 2 hours. So, I was thinking about texting her tomorrow like "Hey, hope your having a great day. Was thinking about you the first three times I hit the snooze button", or something along those lines, but more refined. Did I blow this opportunity completely? Should I have tried to push the card and get it on tonight? Sometimes, I just feel a bit lost. I find that I get caught in this gray area where I don't know if I should be having these informational type dates, building intrigue, and letting her think about me. Or, when I should take the green light and get shit moving. I know the general rule of thumb is to move faster, but sometimes if you move TOO fast, you can ruin a seduction. At this point, I'm not AFRAID to make the move. I am just trying to fine tune when I should be revving things up, or controlling the pace and building intrigue.
Another thing that I might note is that, I always wondered if she was shy around me. Like, if the reason it was hard to pull her in was because she was a bit nervous.
I hope this makes sense and I appreciate any advice. Thanks fellas!
Yours,
X
It's been a while since I posted on the board, but I just need some advice and some objective viewing...
I feel like I have been in a rut. My sexy vibe is a bit off... I'm running a business I started earlier this year, and getting ready to move to Spain after the summer and I think the stress is emanating. So, I have been having some dates where I feel like I am throwing off a platonic vibe. Another thing is that a few months back, I was on fire meeting girls. They would get hot on the first date and we would end up making out hot and heavy and be all over each other and then I wouldn't get any calls back afterwards. I had brought this up in the forums, and it was suggested to tone things down a bit unless it was conducive to having sex. So, if I get an informational date set up these days, or a first date that's not close to either one of our places, I act flirty and engaging, but no more making out on street corners and in bars, etc.
Tonight I went out with this chick that I know through the salsa scene. So, I guess it's a bit of a social circle kinda thing. She's always told me that she loves the way I move and that I am so smooth, and she then kinda disappeared out of my circle a bit. We became friends a while back on Facebook. When that happened she reached out to me and suggested grabbing a drink; we tried setting things up and things fell through. Well fast forward a few months later- apparently, we are now neighbors and she saw me riding my bike home from the gym. She hit me up on FB, we exchanged numbers, flirted a bit, and set up a date tonight.
I sort've went into the date with a bit of an "informational date" tone. Although we don't hang out with the exact same people, we definitely run the same circle. Plus, we've never really had a one on one to deep dive and get to know each other. So, I wasn't trying to pull one of these hang for 20 minutes and then smash. The date was chill- we met at a local pub. I had a club soda- she was a bit late and didn't grab a drink. We were sitting at a table bullshitting a bit- a little bit of deep diving. Found out that she works in finance but it isn't great at numbers. She always loved writing, though. She's always wanted to become a detective, but is nervous to take the police test, etc.
After about an hour, she was tired and wanted to leave. I walked her part way home and then saw her off. I gave her a tight hug, but didn't make any move. It just didn't feel right to pull her in and start making out with her or anything. At this stage in the game, I am trying not to just swing away at everything. I am trying to use my judgement and gut a bit and feel things out...
I guess my question is- did I play any of my cards right? She mentioned how she gets up early and was laughing when I said I get up at the same time but snooze for about 2 hours. So, I was thinking about texting her tomorrow like "Hey, hope your having a great day. Was thinking about you the first three times I hit the snooze button", or something along those lines, but more refined. Did I blow this opportunity completely? Should I have tried to push the card and get it on tonight? Sometimes, I just feel a bit lost. I find that I get caught in this gray area where I don't know if I should be having these informational type dates, building intrigue, and letting her think about me. Or, when I should take the green light and get shit moving. I know the general rule of thumb is to move faster, but sometimes if you move TOO fast, you can ruin a seduction. At this point, I'm not AFRAID to make the move. I am just trying to fine tune when I should be revving things up, or controlling the pace and building intrigue.
Another thing that I might note is that, I always wondered if she was shy around me. Like, if the reason it was hard to pull her in was because she was a bit nervous.
I hope this makes sense and I appreciate any advice. Thanks fellas!
Yours,
X
