- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,897
I'm mostly writing this for myself so I internalize where I'm going wrong on these transition but I'm not entirely sure at the same time where I'm going wrong. Therefore if you have wisdom you would like to share and tell me/agree with me on where I'm going wrong please don't hold back 
.
I met a fuckable girl the other day on the beach that instantly hooked and followed my dominant lead to a nearby, outdoor hotel bar. She was investing, complimenting me, and allowed me to touch her throughout the interaction.
I felt an escalation window coming on so I suggested we go get dinner together somewhere, in which she replied "yes lets do that!"
So we got up from the bar and started heading towards the parkinglot our cars were in.
Once we arrived to the parkinglot 5 min. later she said "I have to get going, it was nice meeting you."
I persisted heavily, tried a yes ladder (which I blow dick at), tried seeking to understand and then be understood (without going all logical), and I even pulled her aside as we were walking and made out with her for a second (she reciprocated) and then picked her up and carried her for fun.
I couldn't find a way to persist and convince her emotionally to stay with me and get dinner, and I'm sure I could've turned it around somehow but I'm more worried about why she flipped on me in the first place, as that is the root problem that needs fixing.
I've fucked up the transition of a girl that was clearly into me twice in one week and I want to pinpoint what that is specifically.
So I've learned from all this that women will obviously make their decisions based on emotion and even though they mean "yes I want to go with you" when they say it they also mean "I gotta go nice meeting you" 5 min. later when they say it because that's what they are feeling in the moment. Women are obviously emotional creatures therefore I understand this principle and can't really say that I blame them.
So here is my theory of why I'm fucking up these transition points.
When I transition from going from safe public interaction to 1 on 1 isolation I start thinking "alright here we go, I'm getting close. This is actually about to happen. She's about to invest a lot and comply to isolation with me and then it's all good. Hope I don't fuck this up."
I think this puts me in my head ever so slightly and stifles me a bit which these girls are sensing ("okay he's not as cool as he was 2 seconds ago, flags are up") even though it's really subtle. When they feel the change in vibe I think they think okay everything felt good until this little bump. Which wouldn't usually be detrimental but since it's at such an important part of the interaction (going from public to isolation) this negative little shift in vibe (even if only momentarily) causes them to flee and possibly even lose a bit of trust.
Chase says, during transition points, to talk about anything in a very casual manner like nothing happened and keep the conversation flowing during these points at all times until the transition is complete... I think I could improve on this.
I know with this girl the vibe immediately sunk down in energy as soon as we got up from the bar (a couple silences getting dangerously close to being awkward), and we weren't having as much fun anymore.
Though then again I could be entirely wrong and it could be something else I'm just oblivious to in which any ideas/suggestions are more than welcome.
-Rob
.I met a fuckable girl the other day on the beach that instantly hooked and followed my dominant lead to a nearby, outdoor hotel bar. She was investing, complimenting me, and allowed me to touch her throughout the interaction.
I felt an escalation window coming on so I suggested we go get dinner together somewhere, in which she replied "yes lets do that!"
So we got up from the bar and started heading towards the parkinglot our cars were in.
Once we arrived to the parkinglot 5 min. later she said "I have to get going, it was nice meeting you."
I persisted heavily, tried a yes ladder (which I blow dick at), tried seeking to understand and then be understood (without going all logical), and I even pulled her aside as we were walking and made out with her for a second (she reciprocated) and then picked her up and carried her for fun.
I couldn't find a way to persist and convince her emotionally to stay with me and get dinner, and I'm sure I could've turned it around somehow but I'm more worried about why she flipped on me in the first place, as that is the root problem that needs fixing.
I've fucked up the transition of a girl that was clearly into me twice in one week and I want to pinpoint what that is specifically.
So I've learned from all this that women will obviously make their decisions based on emotion and even though they mean "yes I want to go with you" when they say it they also mean "I gotta go nice meeting you" 5 min. later when they say it because that's what they are feeling in the moment. Women are obviously emotional creatures therefore I understand this principle and can't really say that I blame them.
So here is my theory of why I'm fucking up these transition points.
When I transition from going from safe public interaction to 1 on 1 isolation I start thinking "alright here we go, I'm getting close. This is actually about to happen. She's about to invest a lot and comply to isolation with me and then it's all good. Hope I don't fuck this up."
I think this puts me in my head ever so slightly and stifles me a bit which these girls are sensing ("okay he's not as cool as he was 2 seconds ago, flags are up") even though it's really subtle. When they feel the change in vibe I think they think okay everything felt good until this little bump. Which wouldn't usually be detrimental but since it's at such an important part of the interaction (going from public to isolation) this negative little shift in vibe (even if only momentarily) causes them to flee and possibly even lose a bit of trust.
Chase says, during transition points, to talk about anything in a very casual manner like nothing happened and keep the conversation flowing during these points at all times until the transition is complete... I think I could improve on this.
I know with this girl the vibe immediately sunk down in energy as soon as we got up from the bar (a couple silences getting dangerously close to being awkward), and we weren't having as much fun anymore.
Though then again I could be entirely wrong and it could be something else I'm just oblivious to in which any ideas/suggestions are more than welcome.
-Rob
