Women grow cold on me...

[ocantu1987]

Im starting to notice when I have a normal conversation with a women, the next day I see her (school,gym) she gives me the cold shoulder.

For example, I talked to a girl that runs my gym in the mornings. I think shes cute and I told myself I need to talk to her. Well I did yesterday, basic stuff. I told her she is very discipline because she is always at the gym early (4 am) I teased telling her she must be ex-military, she laughed. I was smiling, she was smiling.I made eye contact (maybe slightly sexual) we talked about her other job, what muscle she was going to work out blah blah blah.

This morning i came in late and she was cold with me wtf. I tried talking to her and finally she smiled, but i sensed something wasnt right here.

Same thing happened at school, made indirect conversation about cardio to a girl in gym class, I thought she was sexy, talked normal stuff. She introduced herself to me and we talked about where she worked this and that. good eye contact (maybe slightly sexual on my end) she was smiling. The next day, she grew cold on me, and from then on out she has been blowing me off bad.

same thing with another lady at the gym, she was a milf-personal trainer, basic conversation about fitness. Then she grew cold on me the next day.

This is weird stuff here, my theory is that i somehow am coming on too strong, maybe my eye contact is too sexual or something. I never direct-opened these women, it was all indirect. i didnt tell them they are pretty or nothng.

another theory of mine is my mindset is wrong.

I dont know guys, I want to figure out what I am doing wrong here. Has anybody delt with something like this???

 

[ray_zorse]

I think your problem might be hiding the banana... basically being over-friendly without giving them a reason for that. So you're talking for a long time (maybe longer than two gym buddies who happen to bump into each other and chat about this and that before resuming their workout) and you're expressing an interest in them (asking personal questions and so on) but you're either not being flirtatious enough (I note you mentioned you were a little flirtatious but maybe this was too subtle), or not being sexual enough, or not showing enough direct interest, so they're basically thinking "what does this guy want with me, why is he taking up my time and attention like this?" ... well, it doesn't take Einstein to figure out the answer, and they figure it out, but they also find it creepy that you weren't more direct. If you read the article "How not to be the creepy guy" you'll see that creepiness = concealing your interest behind everyday friendliness (and, e.g. checking them out when you think they're not looking). Look this is only a theory, I might be taking this from thin air but I can't see a better explanation from what you're writing.
Ray
PS. I screwed up some interactions today with exactly the same problem, so it's not only you, and it's not a rookie mistake either, it's really hard to balance things.

 

[ocantu1987]

hmmm okay that makes sense ray. So maybe keep it simple, if i think a girl is cute and i talk to her then i should flirt or give a compliment? If i want to be friends with a girl then keep quick chit chat? is that what i should try?

You're right I was talking to these girls asking personal questions being indirect. Didnt ask them out.

 

[ray_zorse]

It's basically about removing internal filters and being your authentic self. So if you are talking to her and saying "how about yoir gym routine" while thinking "holy shit this girl's arse looks great in these yoga pants and I want to rail the fuck out of her" you'd be better off saying what you are thinking and to hell with the consequences. Having said that, gym = social circle and consequences can be negative, which is why I do not usually game at the gym, but if you are going to do it, be wholehearted. Every bad interaction I have just reinforces to me "go direct or go home". (Others will differ on this maybe).
Ray

 

[ocantu1987]

It's basically about removing internal filters and being your authentic self. So if you are talking to her and saying "how about yoir gym routine" while thinking "holy shit this girl's arse looks great in these yoga pants and I want to rail the fuck out of her" you'd be better off saying what you are thinking and to hell with the consequences. Having said that, gym = social circle and consequences can be negative, which is why I do not usually game at the gym, but if you are going to do it, be wholehearted. Every bad interaction I have just reinforces to me "go direct or go home". (Others will differ on this maybe).
Ray

I read the article you mentioned ray, spot on dude. I think you need to be 4 star member

Its crazy that i didnt realize this. i get it now man, why hide your intentions, let them know that you find them attractive lol.