Women Playing Around on Date Times, and Flaunting Men

JohnHeck68

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jul 18, 2019
Messages
1
Hey all. I'm baffled by a couple behaviors I've encountered more than once.

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One, there's been a few instances where I'll flirt with a girl who gives me significant indications of interest and lots of receptive body language, but, after agreeing to a date, they'll give me the runaround as to when they're available and typically shoot down my suggestions.

Eventually they do agree and the day of the date arrives one way or another, but they won't cooperate with setting the logistics beforehand.

One important note is that this isn't coming from women on the street that I've met for the first time, but rather women in my social circles that I encounter on a regular basis for one reason or another.

I also emphasize that they have an absolute playfulness in their demeanor -- their smiling, their happy tone of voice -- as they act "confused" about their upcoming schedule and why my suggested days are impractical.

I sense this is some kind of test. I asked out a hot coworker (who nearly asked me out earlier, when I was too under the weather to accept) who then gave me the runaround, but would often look visibly disappointed when I left work before her without setting any plans.

As an extension, with this kind of behavior I've seen a couple women give me some odd body language I call the "rabbit wiggle". As they acted confused they'll sometimes theatrically twist their nose and lips like a rabbit, and repeatedly say, "Hmm . . . I don't know! Hmm . . . HMMM . . . Hmm . . . I don't know!"

Any else experience and decode that kind of gesture?

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And two, sometimes I'll get the boyfriend or "I'm already seeing someone" line when I get a seeming rejection, but the women will then persist in keeping these men as a prominent subject in our conversations, again with playful/gleeful mannerisms. (Also women in my regular social circles, not one-time encounters on the street.)

Another hot coworker gave me this rejection with an ear-to-ear grin, and after that she started getting extremely touchy-feely with another coworker I've never seen her express interest in before. They had probably been seeing each other for some months beforehand, but they gave zero indication of it until almost literally the day after I asked her out. They'd even do long embraces and cuddling in front of me.

I resumed treating her as a Platonic friend, which irritated her and made her go cold towards me, often invoking the silent treatment even -- but if I withheld attention she'd seek me out and get downright angry sometimes. Yet any resumed interactions would motivate her to escalate the grabbiness with the other coworker.

I see now this was a jealousy tactic. There's a possibility she viewed me as a more desirable partner and wanted a serious relationship, and wanted me to "fight" for her somehow; how, I don't know.

Also, the above coworker mentioned in the first scenario did the same thing during our talks. She even took it so far as to bring her so-called boyfriend to the date we had planned, though I suspect they're not actually dating exclusively and may even be only FWBs.

I gave her my variation of a sick grandma excuse and bailed. It was awkward working with her during her last week, but whatevs.

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So what do you make of this? I'm having a hard time finding any meaningful information on this, and would appreciate links if it's already been addressed meaningfully.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
449
smart girls only flirt within their social circle. all it takes is one guy to brag about his conquest and her reputation is shot to hell. her social standing in the circle plummets. doesn’t mean she won’t make an exception. but she’d have to trust you.
 

DarkKnight

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 18, 2018
Messages
293
Look, if a woman wants to facilitate you getting together she is going to cooperate and not make it impossible. All the drama that you are getting are attempts to get you to invest again, which you are doing right now. Stop deliberating or if you really want to have some kind of conclusion ask them out again. If they refuse you know enough.

I dont care if she is cold, disappointed, angry or whatever a girl who likes you wont make it impossible for you. You guys really underestimate how crazy women are about attention and validation.

The sad thing is lots of girls actually feel entitled to your attention since so many chumps freely give it. Just the other day a girl I missed an escalation window with tried to get me to invest by throwing tantrums, but I didnt take the bait because I already asked her out (her initial interest was honest however). A few day laters I saw her with a never mentioned boyfriend so what were all those tantrums about?

Attention and validation buddy. Force them to comply and if they dont eject. Keep it simple.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
449
DarkKnight said:
Look, if a woman wants to facilitate you getting together she is going to cooperate and not make it impossible. All the drama that you are getting are attempts to get you to invest again, which you are doing right now. Stop deliberating or if you really want to have some kind of conclusion ask them out again. If they refuse you know enough.

I dont care if she is cold, disappointed, angry or whatever a girl who likes you wont make it impossible for you. You guys really underestimate how crazy women are about attention and validation.

The sad thing is lots of girls actually feel entitled to your attention since so many chumps freely give it. Just the other day a girl I missed an escalation window with tried to get me to invest by throwing tantrums, but I didnt take the bait because I already asked her out (her initial interest was honest however). A few day laters I saw her with a never mentioned boyfriend so what were all those tantrums about?

Attention and validation buddy. Force them to comply and if they dont eject. Keep it simple.
compliance is the number one gauge for how into you a girl is. once she stops complying is when you should know to pull away from her for a little bit to get her complying again. if a girl really likes you she will comply with damn near anything. if she's not complying you gotta walk away. the sooner you do the more likely she'll come into your life or back into your life whichever the case may be. but you gotta quit giving your power away.
 
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