Women who are BORING...

[Estate]

This one has bothered me for a while...

What do you do with women who are just BORING..?

I usually see it with women closer to the top of the scale. You approach, you chat, you get a number or whatever, all goes well...
You follow up and she always responds to messages quickly.. but it's BORING!

I don't know what it is. Do some girls who are pretty actually get so many guys based on their looks alone that they can't develop social skills or don't want to?

Case in point...
I got a girls number 2 days ago. I've text her a few times and it's come the point to set up a date. But the interactions with her are just so dry.
She responds promptly, she nice, polite, courteous, but just does not contribute to the conversation. I asked her a funny question just to see if she'd open up or say something fun. But her responce to that was only "Um, I'm not sure I can think of anything. But I'd love to hear your story..."

I don't get what the deal is here. If they are very boring, I end up just walking away, I can't stand seeing a girl who I have to keep up the majority of the conversation to keep it rolling, yet they continue to want to see me. But it's a trend I notice. Hotter girls just lack social skills. Or do they....?
Is it more of a game? Like do most guys just overlook the fact that she has nothing to say so she doesn't bother? Or is she waiting for the guy to say something more interesting to get her talking?
Or do they literally just not develop social skills?

I ask because it's a trend I've seen. I don't mean it in a way that she's being non-responsive because she's not interested. The signs are there that she's interested, when I lead, she will follow without fail, but she just doesn't add to anything.

With this one particular girl I don't even feel like asking her out now, I know it'll be painful to meet her if she continues to be like that.
What do you think guys? Is there a skill here? Or do you just drop it?

 

[Franco]

Estate,

Do some girls who are pretty actually get so many guys based on their looks alone that they can't develop social skills or don't want to?

With some girls, this actually seems to be the case. They realize that their looks is what gives them the most abundance, so they just continue to focus on improving that aspect of themselves because they feel like that is what is attracting the most high-quality men (which is true in terms of getting approached). And if a genuinely good man ends up leaving them, they'll always just assume that "he wasn't the one" and move on to the next guy.

However, it IS unfair to judge a girl's personality before sleeping with her. The fact of the matter is, the more attractive she is, the MORE guys she has talking to her. She could literally be talking to an average of 10 different guys per week, and out of every 100 guys she might be talking to, only ONE might be promising to her. So with that in mind, when you think a conversation seems "dry" before you've gotten physical with a girl, keep in mind that she might just not feel the need to put a little extra time into her texts since experience has shown her that it's probably going nowhere.

If she feels really excited about you, then she'll probably put some extra effort behind her texts to sound warm and fun, but that's completely based on your first interaction (or possibly your profile picture and text game if it's a girl you met online). Never count on this, though. Likewise, you should never judge a girl's personality too harshly until you've already slept with her. She won't show her "true" colors until this happens anyway, and you'll often find that a girl can be completely different after this happens (for better or for worse).

Anyway, just focus on sleeping with attractive girls who seem to be allowing the interaction to move forward. You can begin deciding whether or not you enjoy her personality after she's curled up like a little kitten against you in heavily drenched bed sheets.

- Franco

 

[Thedoctor]

Estate,

The only thing I'd add is that boring generally means stable and consistent. Girls who are more social and fun are often girls who crave drama. I'll direct you to this article from Chase, particularly #3 near the bottom "She's highly social and charismatic.":

https://www.girlschase.com/content/8-red ... -stay-away

So there's is a huge flip side to boring. And as Franco said, there's a good chance she'll become more interesting given time.

-John

 

[Estate]

Franco,

While I do understand what you mean about pre-judging someone... unfortunately this is the way of the world.

If I'm having a bad day and someone stops me on the street to ask for the time. If I was snappy to them or ignored them, they would assume I am an ass. I may be perfectly pleasnat and nice 99% of the time but in the context of that interaction, I came off badly and thus I was perceived as such. That's life...

It's the same idea here. I have no doubt an girl may be the life of the party among friends, she might be the sweetest daughter to her family, she may be the most intellectual intelligent conversationalist among peers.
However, in the context of dating, if someone appears aloof, boring, and with little to say, this is how they are perceived by the other person. How many times do girls write guys off as players, boring, too nice, too dumb, too whatever, based on 3 minutes conversation at the bar or wherever?

But that in mind, there's a catch 22.. here....
Sleep with her to see the real her? But you need to see the real her to sleep with her!

But what I'm really trying to understand is... what is the game here?
Like I said, if I asked someone on the street for directions and they were rude, I would just walk away and not give them a second thought.
Though this seems to be a pretty common game by higher quality women. I could take them to bed but if they are offering nothing, I'd rather walk away, though you really burn bridges with a lot more hot girls than you get by doing it this way.

Is this just the game with hotter girls? You basically have to "sell yourself" more and more to the point of exhaustion?
My point being... once you get going with this stuff, sex is easy to come by. If a woman is playing hard to get to the point I am turned off, I don't need to chase it, I can get sex elsewhere.
But if you don't "just want sex"... you find this woman attractive and want to see the better sides of her personality to see if it could go somewhere, what is the strategy? Do you really sell yourself to these girls? Or just chalk them down...?

 

[Franco]

Estate,

Sleep with her to see the real her? But you need to see the real her to sleep with her!

I don't think this is really the case... as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure you don't see ANY girl's true self until you've slept with her. All you see is who she wants you to see.

I think where you might be getting confused here is that you're thinking that deep-diving somehow shows you who she is. Yes, it does tell you about her dreams and what she wants to accomplish, but it still doesn't really tell you very much at all about her personality. And her personality (other than her looks), is really what matters to most guys. A girl's personality is unveiled as you spend more time with her after sexual intercourse.

If you want to see a better example of how girls' actions change after sex, check out NJ's most recent lay report.

Is this just the game with hotter girls? You basically have to "sell yourself" more and more to the point of exhaustion?
My point being... once you get going with this stuff, sex is easy to come by. If a woman is playing hard to get to the point I am turned off, I don't need to chase it, I can get sex elsewhere.
But if you don't "just want sex"... you find this woman attractive and want to see the better sides of her personality to see if it could go somewhere, what is the strategy? Do you really sell yourself to these girls? Or just chalk them down...?

I'm not really sure what you're inferring by "selling" yourself -- if you mean giving them a certain amount of time investment, then you're going to need to give a little to get a little.

For example, if you're not willing to at least set up a date and try to move things forward with girls who are (probably) interested, then there's a chance you are going to miss out on some amazing girls. Is it a high chance? Not necessarily, but that's only because high quality girls are a bit harder to find. But if you happen to pass one up because you decided to not set up a date... well, then you can't really complain that you aren't meeting high quality girls!

That being said, I do have limits as to how much I "sell" myself to a girl. If we aren't able to set up something within two weeks of meeting each other (barring some exceptions), then I usually drop her off the grid. But I don't think it's all that difficult to set up a date and move things forward with a girl quickly to see where it goes.

Of course, as you get better with women (and actually spend some time around some truly amazing ones), your ability to screen out women who obviously won't interest you in anything more than possibly sex becomes more keen, so you'll be able to not waste your time if you're not looking for just a quick fling (or if you have other women that look more promising in the queue). But, for the majority of the women you meet, you should be prioritizing taking them on at least one date so you can get a better feel for what they might be like. It's hard to judge on the initial number-close what a girl will be like, but you can get a much better feel after the first date. Regardless of whether or not the first date ends in sex, you'll be much more informed on whether or not it's worth seeing her again (because she may or may not show signs of great long-term potential).

- Franco

 

[Marty]

Chase just suggested that you can even get a boring girl engaged in an animated conversation by asking her birthday and discussing her star sign.

Apologies if this has already been said here, I only had time to skim-read.

 

[Chase]

Estate-

But it's a trend I notice. Hotter girls just lack social skills. Or do they....?
Is it more of a game? Like do most guys just overlook the fact that she has nothing to say so she doesn't bother? Or is she waiting for the guy to say something more interesting to get her talking?
Or do they literally just not develop social skills?

There are girls who "play dumb" because they get a kick out of it, especially when they're being inundated with attention. They'll knock it off if you seem sufficiently attractive / impressive / high status for whatever their tastes are, though.

Then again, there are plenty of women who really DO have very little going on in their lives. The better you get at deep diving and general conversation, the fewer women this seems to be, because you solve the problem Franco addresses in his responses (the girl who's not boring, but you think is boring, because you haven't figured out how to get her to open up about the good stuff about her), but there are always some. It's not just a hot girl problem, either - there are plenty of ugly women you'll meet who are as exciting as chunks of granite, too. Same deal with men - some people are just boring. It's been my observation that genuine boringness seems to be the result of:

• A chronic lack of personality
• A complete lack of curiosity
• Below average intelligence

... so I usually take that as a pretty good indication a person isn't worth getting to know.

Actually, in my experience, a genuinely beautiful woman is more likely to be interesting than a less attractive one, presumably because many cool people have shared their interests with her or invited her along on their adventures. Plain girls made hot by makeup/hair/clothes/fundamentals can be quite boring though - often because they've had to work so hard on their appearance to catch up to the effortlessly beautiful girls that they've neglected any other form of self-development or education.

For a long time I pushed myself to make things happen with boring girls even if emotionally I'd have preferred going to the dentist to spending another hour in conversation with the girl. Eventually it just reached a point though that I decided, "Screw it, you've done zero work to make yourself valuable in any other way than as a lay; I will treat you as you've worked to be treated," and just pushed these girls extra hard to sleep with me fast. Some do; some make a stink and act like they need to be courted properly and whatnot. As little slack as I cut in general anymore, boring women get about half that - if she wants to sleep with me, we'll have a wonderful time; if she doesn't, I'm fine letting her go back and feed her goldfish.

That said, depending on where you feel you're at, it may still be worth seeing if you can stick it out with boring women, if just to push the limits of your ability to connect. Usually, at least some of the women you write off as boring will be women you simply haven't found the right way to connect with yet.

Chase

 

[Estate]

Thanks Chase,
Yeah it's good to hear from guys like you and Franco that sometimes these girls do exist.
I'm not at all saying ALL hot girls act boring, not at all... but some do. Why I ask is because I feel I'm at that point where even if a woman is a 10 on the looks scale, I just find myself tiring of it, if they having nothing going on. My friends think I'm nuts and should be really pushing hard to get with some of these girls if they've at least shown some noticeable interest... but that's why I don't. They don't interest me if they genuinely have nothing of interest to say. I feel like I am left doing all the work to get them talking.

I know there's a level of this with deep diving, I get that. But it's when you encounter a girl who you can "deep dive" with and literally come up with nothing:
You can ask about interests, and all she'll tell you is, "I work a lot, and just watch TV, I dunno, nothing really..."
If you ask her about travel or things she's done or likes to do you just get an "I dunno, what about you?"

It just gets to the point where if a woman is just not giving anything back in the conversation, as you said, I'd rather spend that hour having my teeth pulled, but nobody I know really agrees with me. They feel just because the girl is hot, it means I have to persue her more.

In some cases, that's true, but there's a limit before it's a total turnoff and the interaction is going nowhere.

 

[Franco]

Estate,

In some cases, that's true, but there's a limit before it's a total turnoff and the interaction is going nowhere.

Yeah, I mean, you have to judge for yourself how much effort you're really ready to put forth for interactions that just seem to be going absolutely nowhere. If you have strong abundance and plenty of women available, then it's easier to cut out more of these mundane interactions because they won't be worth the time sink on your part.

You have to be the best judge of this. Remember, if you find yourself saying, "I can't find any high quality girls", then that might mean you're cutting off too many of your interactions. But if you find yourself coming across a great girl here and there, then it probably means you've got a good taste for what a good interaction looks like, and you can continue filtering out women the same way you have been.

- Franco