Board,
Once, I had a job that required wearing ties. I had to re-learn it, got okay, and then just got worse with daily practice.
Lately, my game has been like that. I'd stopped gaming. Then I trained myself from stone frozen, unable to get my dumb ass near the girl who stole my eyes, to doing cold approach again!
Recently, it's been Tinder-benders. A lot of dates, a couple of lays, one willing slave (it's all roleplay, but it makes ya feel good). But now my results are getting steadily worse...
Tonight was a girl I'd put aside a while, but had no problem getting her out with a compliment and "let's meet for a drink, if you're not completely against it?" Got her number to "outgrow Tinder" but it's all about building her investment and getting compliance.
I ping her beforehand so she knows I'm not flaking.
I arrive at this lounge, and she's there already. Pretty sure I wasn't late, but I note she's... just cold from the get-go. Girl is about 30, business professional, not exactly a wild one from her pics. I note the red-and-black dress and leather jacket as good signs though.
I went in intending to work on compliance. She was at the bar already with a drink. Place was DEAD, no one but her there. I wasn't smooth with knowing what I wanted to drink, but I was decisive on picking from the bartender's suggestions. And after some of the 8 questions for eliciting values (I'm growing skeptical of them in the field though), I led her away from the bar to get away from the TV, maybe needlessly giving a reason "I'm a man, I get distraced by moving objects".
We go over to some couches, and I mention we can do some people watching. That one can elicit values -- some girls like to watch... And I can show off some cold reading (which, I kinda suck at, but it's worked before). I didn't people watch with her though. I don't know if I should stress about being on her left instead of her right -- there's left-brain/right-brain science to be aware of -- but I was on the left, which is more skepticism inviting.
I sense my conversational skills are a weak point -- there's not a lot of spark when first meeting girls lately, there's awkward pauses looking for subjects, and women themselves rarely know to steer clear of small talk "what do you do, where are you from..." Now, I am making use of our good friend "why" in my questions. But although I steered this girl to important topics like the band she's in with a bunch of old guys, her crazy little brother with his accidentally exhibitionist wife, and why she works the job she does...
I don't think I was doing anything useful with the moments of emotion she showed, because she kept going back to her initial "arms casually crossed, not looking at me while she talks, kinda bleh" mode. I wasn't finding really any opportunities to apply chase framing when... she was giving me NO energy. Doubtless there're ways I could have turned things around or teased or put up false obstacles -- I dunno yet. That's why I'm asking for input. There was so much room for it to be more fun for her and I, even without getting physical.
I noticed her ring and was going to do some compliance stacking, but I didn't get around to it until the end of the night when the precedent was already weak. I had been next to her for a while talking about family and music before I got my arm around her. She wasn't objecting, but she wasn't fully with it either. I felt the whole night like her interest level was off -- like she'd gotten dressed relatively sexy for a conservative, maybe even bland girl, and then just had a horrible drive down and was in a bad mood.
I led her to go to this walk-up window at a restaurant I thought for sure was open. Seems they only open it after the in-door restaurant closes down. Awkward leading. But I pivoted to another place for food. I don't usually go for food on dates, but the window was on the way toward my car and I was going to lead us to sit in it to eat...
Instead, we go from being on couches to having to be in barstools in a busy, kinda bright cafe. At least we had our back to the room -- I'm trying to isolate her here. It wasn't really going my way that night since I fumbled some logistics on the fly.
There are more pauses, and on the way there I had to break the silence with "where would you like to live?" which is an opening question, not one for when we've been together a while.
I think my problem is that I actually... don't have a lot I'm interested in with some of these girls other than wanting to up my skills and.. well.. see if they're dtf! But all I've read here says that only a small percent of girls will be comfortable going to your place quick, and I just don't seem to have my sexy vibe strong enough for activate that in them early. I don't have a lot of genuine interest going for a lot of these conversations, maybe because I'm focused on solving the skill puzzle, or even having a read of where in the heck we're at. I used to follow David DeAngelo's "Cocky and Funny" school of ball-busting teasing. I had fun with that, but the takeaway I've seen from "How to Tease a Girl the Right Way" here on GC is... well, at least it isn't getting those fun reactions, and I'm not getting results with it either. I probably don't understand it.
I talk to her about not wanting to get into a relationship. She talks about how her coworkers are all married and she's not into it, or having kids, and I figure we're good on disqualifying myself as a boyfriend. I do that all the time, but I still get girls slowing things down.
Anyway, I keep getting miles of walls as soon as I suggest a girl join me for a nightcap (I'm not sure many people here even know the term!) Just like all the others, very first question: "Where is that?" I've tried the vague, just-come-with-me "someplace with cheap drinks and good music!" Every last girl digs in her heels and goes "No, where is this place?" The vibe is guarded, and I can those wheels are already turning -- they know I'm trying to take them home. I recall getting girls to my place regularly, and my problem then was getting beyond just kissing. I have turned one "we are definitely not having sex tonight" into a first night lay and an eager slave thereafter (for a few more encounters). But now I'm having a hell of a time getting them to just come to my place at all. I used to blame it on having kissed them too early. But now I'm getting miles of excuses, arguments about sexual politics, talk about "respect" when we've already established clearly that neither of us wants anything serious...
It's got to be something I'm doing for it to be a pattern with different girls. Likely I just need some outside perspective to make sense of what I'm doing.
Anyway, this girl wouldn't follow my "let's go". I did not feel like I ever reached a hook point. All night she was there with me but never with me; she came along but was never following. I couldn't get chase framing or really any sexual framing on her. And while I got her to accept me holding her close as we walked to her car, got her to stop and sit on a bench to talk a bit... it was no-go gents. I never got the sense she was in the mood, and only briefly did it seem she was having a good time. And I'm just going to have to keep getting out there, but maybe I need to tend to other areas of my life first -- I don't even hang out with friends that often, and business is tough lately. Any input is appreciated though!
Once, I had a job that required wearing ties. I had to re-learn it, got okay, and then just got worse with daily practice.
Lately, my game has been like that. I'd stopped gaming. Then I trained myself from stone frozen, unable to get my dumb ass near the girl who stole my eyes, to doing cold approach again!
Recently, it's been Tinder-benders. A lot of dates, a couple of lays, one willing slave (it's all roleplay, but it makes ya feel good). But now my results are getting steadily worse...
Tonight was a girl I'd put aside a while, but had no problem getting her out with a compliment and "let's meet for a drink, if you're not completely against it?" Got her number to "outgrow Tinder" but it's all about building her investment and getting compliance.
I ping her beforehand so she knows I'm not flaking.
I arrive at this lounge, and she's there already. Pretty sure I wasn't late, but I note she's... just cold from the get-go. Girl is about 30, business professional, not exactly a wild one from her pics. I note the red-and-black dress and leather jacket as good signs though.
I went in intending to work on compliance. She was at the bar already with a drink. Place was DEAD, no one but her there. I wasn't smooth with knowing what I wanted to drink, but I was decisive on picking from the bartender's suggestions. And after some of the 8 questions for eliciting values (I'm growing skeptical of them in the field though), I led her away from the bar to get away from the TV, maybe needlessly giving a reason "I'm a man, I get distraced by moving objects".
We go over to some couches, and I mention we can do some people watching. That one can elicit values -- some girls like to watch... And I can show off some cold reading (which, I kinda suck at, but it's worked before). I didn't people watch with her though. I don't know if I should stress about being on her left instead of her right -- there's left-brain/right-brain science to be aware of -- but I was on the left, which is more skepticism inviting.
I sense my conversational skills are a weak point -- there's not a lot of spark when first meeting girls lately, there's awkward pauses looking for subjects, and women themselves rarely know to steer clear of small talk "what do you do, where are you from..." Now, I am making use of our good friend "why" in my questions. But although I steered this girl to important topics like the band she's in with a bunch of old guys, her crazy little brother with his accidentally exhibitionist wife, and why she works the job she does...
I don't think I was doing anything useful with the moments of emotion she showed, because she kept going back to her initial "arms casually crossed, not looking at me while she talks, kinda bleh" mode. I wasn't finding really any opportunities to apply chase framing when... she was giving me NO energy. Doubtless there're ways I could have turned things around or teased or put up false obstacles -- I dunno yet. That's why I'm asking for input. There was so much room for it to be more fun for her and I, even without getting physical.
I noticed her ring and was going to do some compliance stacking, but I didn't get around to it until the end of the night when the precedent was already weak. I had been next to her for a while talking about family and music before I got my arm around her. She wasn't objecting, but she wasn't fully with it either. I felt the whole night like her interest level was off -- like she'd gotten dressed relatively sexy for a conservative, maybe even bland girl, and then just had a horrible drive down and was in a bad mood.
I led her to go to this walk-up window at a restaurant I thought for sure was open. Seems they only open it after the in-door restaurant closes down. Awkward leading. But I pivoted to another place for food. I don't usually go for food on dates, but the window was on the way toward my car and I was going to lead us to sit in it to eat...
Instead, we go from being on couches to having to be in barstools in a busy, kinda bright cafe. At least we had our back to the room -- I'm trying to isolate her here. It wasn't really going my way that night since I fumbled some logistics on the fly.
There are more pauses, and on the way there I had to break the silence with "where would you like to live?" which is an opening question, not one for when we've been together a while.
I think my problem is that I actually... don't have a lot I'm interested in with some of these girls other than wanting to up my skills and.. well.. see if they're dtf! But all I've read here says that only a small percent of girls will be comfortable going to your place quick, and I just don't seem to have my sexy vibe strong enough for activate that in them early. I don't have a lot of genuine interest going for a lot of these conversations, maybe because I'm focused on solving the skill puzzle, or even having a read of where in the heck we're at. I used to follow David DeAngelo's "Cocky and Funny" school of ball-busting teasing. I had fun with that, but the takeaway I've seen from "How to Tease a Girl the Right Way" here on GC is... well, at least it isn't getting those fun reactions, and I'm not getting results with it either. I probably don't understand it.
I talk to her about not wanting to get into a relationship. She talks about how her coworkers are all married and she's not into it, or having kids, and I figure we're good on disqualifying myself as a boyfriend. I do that all the time, but I still get girls slowing things down.
Anyway, I keep getting miles of walls as soon as I suggest a girl join me for a nightcap (I'm not sure many people here even know the term!) Just like all the others, very first question: "Where is that?" I've tried the vague, just-come-with-me "someplace with cheap drinks and good music!" Every last girl digs in her heels and goes "No, where is this place?" The vibe is guarded, and I can those wheels are already turning -- they know I'm trying to take them home. I recall getting girls to my place regularly, and my problem then was getting beyond just kissing. I have turned one "we are definitely not having sex tonight" into a first night lay and an eager slave thereafter (for a few more encounters). But now I'm having a hell of a time getting them to just come to my place at all. I used to blame it on having kissed them too early. But now I'm getting miles of excuses, arguments about sexual politics, talk about "respect" when we've already established clearly that neither of us wants anything serious...
It's got to be something I'm doing for it to be a pattern with different girls. Likely I just need some outside perspective to make sense of what I'm doing.
Anyway, this girl wouldn't follow my "let's go". I did not feel like I ever reached a hook point. All night she was there with me but never with me; she came along but was never following. I couldn't get chase framing or really any sexual framing on her. And while I got her to accept me holding her close as we walked to her car, got her to stop and sit on a bench to talk a bit... it was no-go gents. I never got the sense she was in the mood, and only briefly did it seem she was having a good time. And I'm just going to have to keep getting out there, but maybe I need to tend to other areas of my life first -- I don't even hang out with friends that often, and business is tough lately. Any input is appreciated though!
